Am I being childish to be hurt by this?

All the holiday companies round here have closed for the duration, so even if somebody turns up they can’t get the key. Those already in occupation have been told to go home. Cleaners have been told to down tools.

Good luck anybody going on a self catering holiday. There will be tears before bedtime. In the meantime Aries, happy birthday.

Aries, I agree with Granny Laine, they should have organised something you could cope with. The trouble is they don’t realise how much you long to see them and spend time time with them. But they did ask and a grandson came, which is lovely. Try not to hang to the hurt, difficult sometimes, and I’m sorry for you’re pain. I hope you have a hobby that you enjoy.

Happy 70th Aries. I’m so sorry you are in such a lot of pain.

Many happy returns of the day aries! ???

I'm amazed that they booked a cottage such as you've described. They should have booked one that had a downstairs bedroom and bathroom for you or taken you to an hotel with lifts.

It's funny how people book a "supposed" treat for the whole family expecting their children and grandchildren to like the same thing. The in laws of a young friend booked a villa in Florida last year for themselves and their childrens' families. The villa had one of those pools that's covered over with some sort of frame, little garden to speak of and the children were toddlers and babies. Not much fun on a flight to Florida I would have thought.

Happy birthday. I can't get my head around young ones now, mine either

Hetty that is not a nice comment.
No one should be getting together at the minute.
If I was answering this at a normal time I would say yes they are selfish. It's a special birthday and they should have planned to spend it with you. But as Pikachu said it won't do you any good to feel bad about it. You are not alone. Children are often thoughtless. Don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed.

In a word...yes.

Greciangirl
Did you not read the original post?

I’m wondering why you agreed to go in the first place.

It sounds as if the whole trip would have been stressful anyway.

Strange that they didn’t inform you that they were still going.

There is a travel ban on people going on holiday in UK. Your family are all being very irresponsible. They should cancel.

You are 70, you should be isolating. They know this. Please don't be hurt, so much stress and worry about that people are struggling to communicate well x

Happy birthday aries63 How inconsiderate your family have been. They’ve treated themselves to something that they fancy, for your birthday, without thinking about whether it’s something suitable and appropriate for you. I think you’ve every right to be upset and to expect them to have planned an accessible treat that you’d have enjoyed.

It has to be said that your family do seem to be very ignorant. They shouldn’t have carried on with their sneaky plans this weekend because everyone is supposed to be avoiding unnecessary travel.

I’m sorry they’ve behaved so badly, they are suffering from a lack of empathy and imagination. Tell them how you feel. Say you couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t tell you that they were still going away. You’re not a child, you don’t need your family around on your birthday, but it’s plain mean for them to not tell you in advance or ask you how you would like to celebrate even if not on the day.

No, you are not being childish to feel hurt.
Your daughter and family are unreasonable on so many grounds. Booking unsuitable accommodation, being dishonest, leaving you out, and especially, going ahead with travel plans when we are meant to stay at home.
So you are the better person. Turn this on its head and be glad you stayed at home.

They are being unreasonable all round. Haven’t they watched the news asking people to stay away from holiday acc because in a lot of these areas they don’t have the capacity in the rural hospitals to deal with their own never mind visitors

Wishing you a ?????Happy Birthday Aries ????? I wish you a happy, healthier, safe and peaceful year.
I think your hurt is understandable - they were dishonest and selfish. But maybe I would not have agreed on the first place.
If they normally do a lot for you and take care of you then maybe let it go.
Having said that I’m a lover of honesty so I would write a text (and have done so when hurt) saying ‘I’m hurt , I’m very disappointed , I feel you were not honest , and I feel you were unkind to me, love mum’ I would never tell them what they should should not do only I how I feel.

Dear aries 63 I know how you feel having had similar. Let it go sweetheart you have more than enough to contend with.
I wish you Many Happy Returns ??
Take care and stay safe X

Tourist areas are being over-run by people getting out of the cities and turning up in their towns and villages, buying scarce food and clogging up hospitals if they take ill. Many tourist areas are not geared up for large populations, and are reluctantly asking visitors to stay away.

I think you should be pleased that you are not adding to this problem, particularly given your age and state of health.

Should you feel hurt? That's not a question the rest of us can answer, other than to say whether we would be upset in the same situation. If you feel hurt, you feel hurt, and there is no right and wrong way to feel (only different ways of dealing with it).

For what it's worth, no, I don't think that I would expect my children to cancel something because I couldn't go, although I would be hurt if they didn't replace the trip with another, more suitable gift. I would be annoyed with them for not cancelling at a time like this, however, but that's a different thread, and I completely understand that we are not responsible for how our adult children behave.

It must be upsetting but sounds as if it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise- at least you will be socially distanced from them!

No you're not being childish - but that's not the issue here. Both Govts have issued very strict instructions to people NOT to travel unless they absolutely have to in order to stop the spread of the virus and to reduce the burden on other community resources and health services.

What on earth was your daughter and her family thinking of?? Selfish, selfish behaviour.

I quite agree - 70 is a very significant birthday. How hurtful. I'm constantly taken aback by younger peoples lack of conscience in matters like this. My mum would've been mortified if we'd acted as casually as this.

Well, thank goodness you didn't go. Why on earth would you want to go anywhere at the moment? Stay at home, stay safe.

Everyone is supposed to be social distancing anyway. Also they should not be traveling anywhere. Has nobody told them?

I'd have assumed when she said they had 48 hours to cancel, that they were cancelling the whole trip if I didn't want to go, so yes, I would initially feel hurt if it turned out the trip was still on, with other people taking my place.

I think overall I'd feel dreadfully sad and left out, it doesn't matter that you said no when asked, it still means that they're off enjoying themselves and you're not! I doubt very much whether they planned to leave you out deliberately. However, I've been finding out in the last 5 years with arthritis and chronic pain disorder, mobility problems and illness do mean I get left out of quite a lot of things, many of which I wouldn't be able to do anyway, and it does upset me sometimes.

I understand only too well why you feel hurt.

However, it won't make you feel better, so try to let it go.

Your daugher, if it were she that arranged the trip, could and should have asked you before doing so, if you wanted to go.

She seems to have given you the impression that she would cancel the trip if you didn't feel able to go with them.

She hasn't and is going ahead with it, even although it sounds as if was meant as a birthday present for you.

Healthwise you would be wise not to let any of them into your house, just now.

I know it will do no good, but I would be tempted to tell a daughter of mine who behaved like that how inconsiderate I found her behaviour and that it had hurt me.

I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday, all the same.