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On first meeting a new Boss/Co worker etc : What you see is what you get !

(32 Posts)
Bridgeit Wed 25-Mar-20 16:04:55

What you see is what you get

Why do some folks when first meeting a previously unknown person feel the need to say this
What are they trying to convey?

Also: Take me as you find me
Don’t mess with me
Like it or Lump it

I can never decide if it is assertive , defensive , a threat or arrogance
Example : A new boss introduced himself to me stating ‘ I’m always nice to begin with’ to which I replied ‘ And so am
I was old enough to be his mother , possibly his Granny!

Gemini17892 Wed 25-Mar-20 16:35:49

In my experience people who say WYSIWYG use it as an excuse to be rude.

EllanVannin Wed 25-Mar-20 17:20:38

Defensive I'd say, for want of something to say because of their lack of experience in introductions and how to present themselves.

MissAdventure Wed 25-Mar-20 17:25:07

I've rarely had a boss who held true to "what you see is what you get". If only!

jaylucy Thu 26-Mar-20 09:31:47

Quite frankly, if someone says that the first time I meet them, they won't be seeing me again!
There seems to be some people that think that supposedly old fashioned values, such as respecting other people's opinions, thinking before you open your mouth and just basically being kind no longer matter to anyone .
In my experience they will often say very spiteful, nasty things about anyone and I often wonder just what has made them so bitter and twisted - as I walk away from them, that is!

CleoPanda Thu 26-Mar-20 09:43:25

I always feel that’s it’s coming from a selfish egotistical type. In other words, “I’m a pretty horrible person but I don’t care and have no intention of changing”. The sort of person who makes you want to run away as quickly as possible.

Yorksha Thu 26-Mar-20 09:43:39

I find the ' what you see is what you get' quote as arrogant. They're trying to intimidate you in a way of showing authority. This person isn't nice. And is probably trying to hide feelings of insecurity. I would find it hard to show respect to such a person. Definitely not management material.

icanhandthemback Thu 26-Mar-20 09:49:55

Now this is a funny one because I have always said that about my husband. He is rarely rude or spiteful but we mean it to be that there is no side to him. If he says he'll do something, he can be relied on to do it. If you ask him does my bum look big in this, he will kindly point out that he has seen it look smaller in another outfit. He won't enter a long winded argument with people just for the sake of it, he will always consider what he is trying to achieve by arguing. He's not a saint but it isn't just me who thinks he is a WYSISWYG get sort of person. As a manager his staff absolutely adored him, felt that he was approachable and fair. His Department went from having the worst reputation in the organisation to being applauded for its approach. All done without unpleasantness with a WYSISWYG approach.
I think it depends on the person as to whether that title is a licence to be rude or something that means that a person is not going to enter into subterfuge and manipulation.

FindingNemo15 Thu 26-Mar-20 09:50:45

My lovely boss was promoted and replaced by a young go getter. She started changing everything that had run like clockwork for the sake of it and then one day said to me "I like your blouse, you can give it to me WHEN you leave!" I replied what happened to IF I leave. Needless to say she made my life a misery and got me out!

Baggs Thu 26-Mar-20 09:51:45

When we were looking for a removal firm to get us from Oxford to off road Argyll the firm I plumped for, after being totally unimpressed with the southern English ones, was a Glaswegian one. The guy said "What you see is what you get" and this is exactly what we wanted. No fuss and bother about the difficulty of the job, e.g. when I said there were over 50 boxes of books and several crateloads of homemade wine, for which they had to source some crates. They just got on with it and were great.

They didn't over-charge either.

So I don't think it's aggressive or assertive or an excuse for rudeness at all.

Baggs Thu 26-Mar-20 09:53:01

Though it could be used as such. But the words are just words. How they're used is what's important.

Baggs Thu 26-Mar-20 09:54:38

In fact.... thinking about it... I think I've only ever heard it used to mean no fuss and no high falutin airs and graces. That's fine by me.

HiPpyChick57 Thu 26-Mar-20 09:55:50

I find with these people it’s all one sided. They can dish it out but have trouble taking it when faced with someone who has the same attitude as them.

Baggs Thu 26-Mar-20 09:56:27

I suspect a boss using the phrase on first meeting an employee is trying to show s/he is not high and mightily "above" the employees but is approachable and will listen.

annodomini Thu 26-Mar-20 10:02:08

Nobody ever said that to me at interview or in a new job. I'd have been on my guard immediately.

Tree58 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:10:48

My auntie used to say 'what you see is what you get' and 'take me as you find me'. She had no airs and graces, said what she thought, gave good advice and I adored her.

grannie7 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:49:12

What happened to you is called constructive dismissal.If it’s not to long ago you can take her to an employment tribunal.
People like her need to be stopped
I am very sorry that happened to you most distressing for you

Rosina Thu 26-Mar-20 10:55:51

I don't think there is ever any excuse to be rude. Some people are not socially adept and say things that sound arrogant and aggresive - it takes a while to see what they are really like. I have occasionally used 'What you see is what you get' to describe a person to someone else, and have meant it as a compliment - that they have no 'side' or nasty charachteristics, and can be trusted. One trait has impressed itself over the years though - people promoted beyond their capabilities usually become aggresive, and I did suggest that to a really nasty piece of work in a company I was employed by some years ago - she was making one woman's life hell and had reduced her to tears more than once. It did take the wind out of her sails on that occasion but sadly didn't alter her personality!

Madmaggie Thu 26-Mar-20 10:56:26

Like the bosses who claim their "door is always open". The door is often open but there's noone at home grin

Chewbacca Thu 26-Mar-20 11:10:54

Statements from new boss's/new colleagues which should always be viewed with suspicion:
What you see, is what you get.
My door is always open.
I'm a team player.
I never gossip.
In my last job, we did it this way......
We're going to have a weekly/monthly meeting where any suggestions made will be acted on.
I have to finish bang on 5 o'clock every day.

Rozzy Thu 26-Mar-20 11:14:22

I think the truth is that you are saying this about your husband, icanhandthemback, rather than him egotistically saying it about himself. He sounds lovely, by the way, and lucky to have you appreciating him.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 26-Mar-20 11:31:24

Well, I have never met anyone who made any of these remarks, so I don't know why they do it.

If I ever do meet somone who does, I will try to judge from their tone of voice whether they are trying to be nice or rude.

The most likely scenario is that my reply would be, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Northernandproud Thu 26-Mar-20 11:37:13

I hate call a spade a spade which is normally the start of someone saying something incredibly rude

MarieEliza Thu 26-Mar-20 12:55:44

I had a lovely boss and he was always on hand and a listening ear. He was a part time member of the Samaritans. Years later I got in touch (40 years later) and he is still as kind as ever. He had since become a Methodist minister and radiated goodness

sandelf Thu 26-Mar-20 15:36:17

Vile thing to say - passive aggressive. Warning you that they will be rude and inconsiderate and blame you if you criticise in any way.