grandson punished by not being allowed to visit us.

Boris said Grandparents are not to look after their grandchildren.We are all in the same boat.One of the parents should stay home,it's simple.

A child seeing his or her grandparents? Normal family life, I'd say.

Annepl,
So if it is not privilege, what is it then?

You did not address the question at all.

Is seeing a close family member a privilege?My children had a wonderful relationship with my husband's parents who lived in the same street. They were just part of the family. The very idea of punishing them by not allowing them to visit their grandparents is unthinkable. And what if something happened before the next visit? You can't turn back time.

annep1 if seeing GP is not a privilege to you, what may it be?

Well I’m quite muddled by the op post, I thought lockdown was simply lockdown and no one was seeing any GC

I don't agree that seeing grandparents is a privilege.

I don’t see anything wrong with the punishment.
There’s nothing to say that he is locked in his room all weekend with nothing but water.
He’s lost a privilege.

And the real bottom line is he shouldn’t have been going over to his GPs house anyway.

The punishment choice is to the parent. Your opinions do not matter. Not harsh punishment, attention getting.

But not as long term as covid.

Punishment frequently causes unhappiness (in the short term) to others, but lying is not to be encouraged.

Punishment can have long term effects too.

It was merely in response to your capital FGS. MawB.
I don't consider it a waste of my time to strongly defend little children.

Oh really!
Your “fgs” was presumably different to my “FGS”?
How totally childish, and clearly indicative of nothing better to occupy your time (yawn)

Just looked up snitty. It was no more snitty than your FGS remark.
And now I sound like a grumpy child. So I think I'll go. I actually feel quite sad for this little boy missing his trip to his grandparents.

I don't actually know what snitty means. I merely noticed private messsage. Perhaps if I hadn't been in a hurry I might have realised what you had done. Was just letting you know.

But the snitty remark about it not being a private message was entirely superfluous.

MissAdventure Iv had the very same discussion with my mum looking sympathetically at my eldest when she’s in trouble. Unlike you though I’m fairly confident the moment my back is turned my little rogue is being given a treat by her Nanny

I copy text without including "add comment etc..." as illlustrated below... fgs!

FGS I merely copied your post - using the desktop site- had you never noticed the format?

And no one will ever persuade me this is how to punish a young child. Very strict parents indeed.

Add comment | Report | Private message annep1 Sat 25-Apr-20 12:17:39
Well its not a private message
FGS I merely copied your post - using the desktop site- had you never noticed the format?

No idea what your GS lied about or even why he lied, so difficult to say much .
However, no point in trying o discipline a child if the child will just ignore what he did in the first place and carry on doing it. Maybe, without your knowledge, it is not the first time , other things have been tried and failed and he won't forget this in a hurry!
Keep out of the argument and next time you see your GS, you must back his parents up with quietly reinforcing that he was wrong to tell a lie(s). Do not, whatever you do, pat him on the head and let him get away with it or you are on the path to destruction of any relationship with his father.
I am also confused about how he seems to be shuttled between the two homes.

I don't think it's too harsh a punishment, actually.

It depends on the lie, it depends on whether lying is an issue, it depends on lots of things.

Well its not a private message. Of course lying is not to be encouraged but as I said before this punishment will do exactly that..
It's up to all of us to make sure children are treated fairly. In my opinion. If a child was being smacked we would interfere (I hope). This is too harsh a punishment and the child is powerless to do anything. We are talking about a very young child.
Lockdown is not black and white. eg Hospital workers have childminders coming to their homes. And I have explained ny daughters arrangements.
We don't know all the circumstances. And it sounds like the real mother does not live close.
Perhaps people could just give opinions on the issue as requested!

| Private message annep1 Sat 25-Apr-20 11:44:36
I think people are too concerned with the arrangements which are not always black and white; rather than addressing the issue of punishment
Indeed, and it is not the grandparents’ responsibility (and even less GN members’) to decide on the “punishment” . Do you remember “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you”?
Punishment frequently causes unhappiness (in the short term) to others, but lying is not to be encouraged.
The lockdown is itself a very black and white arrangement and should be treated as such. .

annpl so which is more important that a child should be punished by his dad or that people should obey the lockdown rules? I'd say the lockdown.