grandson punished by not being allowed to visit us.

I think people are too concerned with the arrangements which are not always black and white; rather than addressing the issue of punishment.

Gagajo The post says "lived with us when small". Then later post says "we are in lock down together"
original post says "he only spends 6 months of year in our area"
and it is "dad and girlfriend" not mother.
So the two households this child should be moving between are his mum and dad's. If Grandparents are in lockdown why is Grandpa only available at weekends? Strikes me there is little social distancing going on here.

The school places are limited. So parents are encouraged to make other arrangements where my daughter lives. Daughter and exhusband are essential government employees and share childcare. The children go between both homes depending on which parent is having a work at home day. It's allowed.

They're living together. She says that in her post of 24.4.20 17.01. The grandparents are the child carers when the parents are at work. Grandparents are in lockdown but parents are working. She hasn't said, but it sounds to me like either a big house or a house and a flat.

I don't understand any of it. Child can't visit. They are in lockdown together. They look after the child when both parents are at work. They only see the child for 6 months of the year

According to the lockdown rules this is how it should work.
Both families should be in lockdown.
If the parents are essential workers the child should be in school.
There should be no visits.

OP still hasn’t returned to explain the questionable or at least confusing domestic arrangements has she?

And why shouldn't the grandparents think selfishly. They were looking forward to their gc visit.

The majority of us aren't seeing our grandchildren due to the lockdown

There are obviously some people who don't understand what that means

How big a lie can a seven year old tell?
How will they punish him when he's older if that's what they do now?
And why shouldn't the grandparents think selfishly. They were looking forward to their gc visit. Poor child..

It’s far from an the ideal punishment but given the circumstances his family are doing everyone a favour by not mixing households and observing the great big lockdown we’ve all been under for weeks.

ouma6.

I have sympathy. You'll miss seeing him this weekend. He's 7, not 15. The punishment seems very harsh to me.

But you can't do much about it unfortunately. Parents are in control. I do feel for you though.

"I feel this is unfair to all three of us and another punishment should be worked out, not punishing us as well"

So your concern is not that your gc lied and he is punished. You are not concerned that your grandchild might have some discomfort for being punished

Your main issue is that you won't spend time with him

That seems a very selfish agenda to me.

It is up to his father to discipline his son in the way he sees fit. It may not be your idea of what is appropriate but it is not up to you.

As others have said, he really should not be travelling between two houses just now anyway (if that is what is happening).

I agree that it's harsh, but there's nothing you can do it really should do but support the parents and look forward to the next visit. Making too much of this is good for no one

I wasn't allowed to look sympathetic when my grandsons were in trouble.

Minding my own business, saying nothing.. then..

Mother! Don't sit there with a sympathetic look on your face!

I may disagree with how children are brought up, but I don't see it as the place of grandparents to comment. I would not have been impressed to be told by my in-laws how I should bring up my own children.

We had a very good relationship, and I'm sure they must have bitten their tongue more than once, but they didn't criticise or undermine me. They brought up their own children their way, which wasn't how I brought up mine. Although we shared a moral compass, and agreed on a lot of things, we differed about how they should be achieved. Which is normal, I think? Each generation does things slightly differently from the one before - probably in response to how they themselves were brought up.

Family dynamics differ, though - maybe some mums wouldn't mind if their in-laws told them how to parent.

Your role is to support the parents, not to undermine them or criticise their child-rearing, outside of very obvious boundaries

I think I would be concerned about parents who mete out such harsh punishment to my young gc.

We dont know what the lie is.
We don't know the consequences of that lie
We cannot say the punishment to the child is too strict
We don't have all the facts

AARRGGHH!! Oh for an edit button.

long, not 'ne'.

Maybe they all live in a house with a granny annexe? Or maybe this is a wind-up - who knows?

Taking things at face value, and assuming that there are no relevant lockdown issues, I think that it seems harsh to punish a young child in this way, and as has been said, it will only encourage him to lie more. Having said that, I also agree with whoever it was that it is not a matter for the grandparents to decide.

Your role is to support the parents, not to undermine them or criticise their child-rearing, outside of very obvious boundaries (eg if they physically punish the boy).

Interfering will only make things more difficult all round, and potentially reduce your contact with your grandson even more. If you are not interfering, but just sounding off on here, then yes, it is a shame that this has happened, but presumably it won't be ;one until you see him again, and you can have a lovely time then.

Clueless here as well

I regularly looked after our grandsons and they had sleepovers

But since the lockdown that's all stopped. Not seen any of my grandchildren for weeks.

I thought everyone was doing this

No mixing of families etc etc

Taking the current lock down out of the equation, why 'punish GP's to punish a 7 year old child?

I agree BlueBelle. Makes absolutely no sense at all. The child is either:

a) living in a different house and visits the OP for sleepovers, in which case they are not 'in lockdown together', or

b) they are indeed all 'in lockdown together', i.e. all living in the same house, in which case, how is he stopped from visiting for a sleepover?

You haven’t really made the situation clear, ouma6. Are you the maternal grandparents? If he used to live with you, have you some sort of residence order which entitles you to have your grandson at weekends, even in lockdown?

I m confused here he s not allowed to visit this weekend because he lied but you say you’re all on lockdown TOGETHER since March.... well that’s makes no sense at all if you’re all on lockdown together where is he living to not be allowed to visit ???
You ll need to clarify what you are talking about ouma6