Gransnet forums

AIBU

Football in garden

(43 Posts)
Newatthis Sat 25-Apr-20 17:42:39

Not sure if I'm being over cautious or unreasonable. The kids next door quite often kick their football over the fence into our garden. I normally don't mind, they are very polite when they call around to retrieve it and I usually and leave the back gate open for them to come and get it themselves. However, they were recently on self isolation for two weeks (the whole family) as one of the boys had a nasty cough (although they insisted it wasn't COVID). This morning the ball went over again and sure enough one of them came around to the front to ask if he could retrieve it. Firstly I was a little concerned about opening the front door and secondly I didn't want him to go into the garden so I passed it back over the fence. AIBU or paranoid or both? I don't at this time want this to happen.

SirChenjin Sat 25-Apr-20 17:45:48

No YANBU - you sound like a lovely neighbour and if they’ve got any sense they’ll see that what you did was very sensible in the circumstances.

MawB Sat 25-Apr-20 17:48:52

He should not have come round and I am sure you are happy to lob it back. However if they were insisting it was not Covid19 - why the quarantine?

Starblaze Sat 25-Apr-20 17:50:28

Maybe just give them permission to go round and not knock?

bikergran Sat 25-Apr-20 18:14:32

I would be concerned about handling the ball if they are in quarantine.The boys/family will have picked up the ball at some time. I have the same problem, but the grandkids over the fence obviously have not been visiting.

Nannarose Sat 25-Apr-20 18:23:22

Depends on your set-up. I would agree that you could say they can just collect it. But that may not easy to organise or you may not want to set a precedent.
You could suggest to the family, that at this time, you will throw the ball over when you see it (and it would be kind to keep an eye open ). That way (depending on your set-up) you could leave the back door open, and walk straight in and wash your hands.
It sounds like a good neighbourly relationship, so I'm sure they will understand.

ValerieF Sat 25-Apr-20 19:19:08

Just keep returning it over fence and then wash your hands when you go back in. Tell them not to come to yours and as soon as you see it you will return it. Maybe if there is a delay they will try not to kick it over? Boys will be boys though and no matter what the intention they do kick over! Doesn't mean you have to let them in to your garden though.

Urmstongran Sat 25-Apr-20 19:41:30

One young family I know have 3 football mad boys. They play in their garden. Their next door neighbour isn’t an easy person to have as a neighbour. She is a depressive and can be quite hostile.

Yesterday, When the ball got kicked over the fence, she was heard by the boys to ‘use the F word’ (and it wasn’t football) - she picked the ball up, stabbed/slashed it with a knife or somesuch and lobbed it back over the fence ...
😱

Curlywhirly Sat 25-Apr-20 20:55:43

Urmstongran what thoroughly miserable, nasty piece of work that lady is. Some people are just so intolerant aren't they? We have two young boy living next door to us, all sorts of toys and sports equipment end up in our garden, they either knock and ask if they can retreive them, or if I see them, I throw them over the fence. It's not a problem at all. In the OPs situation, I would just say owing to the lockdown situation, the boys are quite welcome to just come into the garden and collect the ball themselves.

ElaineI Sat 25-Apr-20 21:55:37

MawB we had to go into quarantine at the start of lockdown when nearly 2 yo DGS had a high temp ( as toddlers sometimes do) - no symptoms. Meant my DD2 had to be off work and she is a nurse and we couldn't shop or anything. Temp normal by 3rd day. No one had the virus and no one tested!

annep1 Sat 25-Apr-20 22:26:05

If you have symptoms which could be Covid 19 you must self isolate.

Callistemon Sat 25-Apr-20 22:35:43

Yes, lob it back and wash your hands very carefully.

Suggest they practise their dribbling and 'keepie uppies' - less risk of it coming over the fence.

Fiachna50 Sun 26-Apr-20 02:19:12

Occasionally, a ball comes into mine from the nice children next door. I wait till they are back inside their house, put on my gloves and pop it back over the fence. Gloves are then either in bin or washing machine and I wash my hands for the recommended time. Their parent is a nurse and the children are good at social distancing. The ball does not come in often, I don't have a problem with it. As to the lady with the ball and knife, that is illegal. You must hand the ball back, it is not your property.

JANH Mon 27-Apr-20 09:50:00

Actually, it is not illegal to not return the ball. It is only illegal if you keep the ball. Slight difference however I am aware of this as we had many years of footballs/hard cricket balls and golf balls coming over into our garden and causing damage. So we checked with the police. That lady was wrong to damage the ball however she could have put in her rubbish, legally, and got rid of it that way, so I was informed.

joysutty Mon 27-Apr-20 09:50:50

Yes, my neighbours ball come over into our back garden, tennis balls or a rugby ball, so i wait till about 6pm then thrown it back, then wash my hands, as our gate has a lock on from our side so no-one can come through, so getting yourself a lock/padlock may be the answer so then they cant come through at all, and no-one can else for that matter, we are in total control. I would not never throw the balls back as thats what our elderly neighbours wouldn't do when our 2 children were very young, and we constantly had to buy new ones.

Missiseff Mon 27-Apr-20 10:02:47

Yes. Both. Why can't you open the door and step back? Why couldn't you have spoken through a window if you didn't want to open the door, and tell him to go round and get it? It's far better for him to get it himself than you touch it, whether he's a carrier or not.

Foxygran Mon 27-Apr-20 10:22:09

I think you’re right to be concerned. I’d have a friendly conversation with your neighbour and ask her to ring you if the ball goes into your garden. You can then don your disposable gloves and throw it back without worrying about contamination. You sound a lovely neighbour.

Candelle Mon 27-Apr-20 10:23:23

I wouldn't be very keen to have the boys in my garden willynilly at the moment. In normal times I would not have a problem as they sound well behaved.

Could they ring you when the ball lands in your garden? You would not have to keep checking for the ball and could go and lobb it back, returning inside to thoroughly wash your hands.

There would then be minimal contact with them.

glammanana Mon 27-Apr-20 10:27:52

I would ask the boys to come into the garden and collect the ball himself and you can stay well away from them.It sounds as though you have a lovely relationship with your neighbours which is so good.

Nannan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:31:01

Theres a tennis ball appeared in my garden,its not ours,i dont think,and yet no ones come& asked for it either.(we havent been out yet to 'sit out' in garden as it badly needs attention & as im disabled cant crop it myself.) The newish neighbours have young kids so could be theirs,but if i throw it back& its not theirs then ill be horrified! They will think im the one throwing stuff in theirs! grin

Nannan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:36:50

But yes,id just tell your neighbours to let ONE of the boys,probably the oldest,or the parent to just pop round & get it but to make sure they shut gate after them properly.if they're straight in &out surely they aren't going to contaminate anything if you stay inside.

4allweknow Mon 27-Apr-20 10:53:16

I had terrible problems with footballs coming over the fence at one time. Had a football belted so hard it landed in an upstairs bedroom window (I was sitting at desk in room). Another came flying in conservatory door knocking coffee out of my hand and then the final straw, ball came over and hit my 2 year old GC on head kicking her over. I went mad with next door, highlighted if I had wanted to I could have charged them for all the damage to planting, young trees, all still had price labels on them. Any other incidents would be reported as harassment. The inconsiderate football behaviour stopped. I pointed out too, one of my brothers was a professional footballer, played for country and he was never allowed to play with a football in the garden when he was young. Waste of time unless you gave one tgey size of a football pitch apparently. Stayed friends with neighbour once she realised the danger and nuisance her kids' behaviour was causing. I would tell the kids you will return the ball over the fence when it is convenient for you to do so and that you are not going to be sitting watching for when it comes over. Perhaps they will learn a bit more ball control if they have to wait.

Babs758 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:56:39

Throw it back in a plastic bag!

kwest Mon 27-Apr-20 10:58:03

I think we might all have felt like doing that occasionally? My neighbour has two wood-burning stoves. He has a chain saw that sounds like a dentist's drill and uses it for three hours at a time sawing up wood. always on a warm day when others would like to use their gardens. He lights fires immediately behind the eight foot brick wall between his house and ours and if we have a window open the smoke comes straight in there, If I put washing out I am always concerned that he will light a fire before the washing has a chance to dry. I will admit to cracking one day and screaming at him to "put that bloody fire out". It is a good job that their is an eight foot brick wall between us because I had definitely 'lost it' that day. I cannot answer for what I might have done if I could have accessed him directly. The elderly lady who lived there before him never caused any problems and to have him buy the place when she died has become a nightmare. We have tried not to be difficult and we live in a village where people will quickly make their feelings known. He has stopped the chainsawing on Sunday afternoons now and does it mainly on Friday and Saturdays so I think someone has said something to him.

maddyone Mon 27-Apr-20 11:29:58

I’d throw it back over the fence and then immediately wash your hands.