Gransnet forums


Am I the only one seeking freedom?

(37 Posts)
OliverZach Thu 07-May-20 23:52:08

I am at my wits end. All I want is to be able to see my children, grandchildren & parents. Eldest grandchild is obviously struggling being separated from the rest of the family. Parents, both in their 80’s, mum long term disabled now sole Carer for my dad who had a stroke in October. They are trying to look after each other but struggling. Problem is daughter & grandchildren live over 25 miles away, parents nearly 80 miles away! I just want to see them, they want to see me! I understand about the risks, we all do but want to do? I can accept all the other restrictions but I just want to see my family!

Sussexborn Sun 10-May-20 00:40:56

So sorry for your loss Tuppence! Such a sad time for you.

I just try not to think too deeply about it and take each day as it comes. Fretting won’t help anyone and will add strain on our loved ones.

I haven’t come across anyone so far who thinks this is a good excuse not to see their family and friends. It’s a worrying time for everyone but especially those who are, or have family, working in a public facing role.

52bright Sun 10-May-20 00:09:27

Sincere condolences Tuppence. flowers

grannyticktock Sat 09-May-20 20:11:16

When people live within a mile or two of friends or family members, they are often happy to visit and stay at a safe distance in the garden -I know plenty of people who now do this. Yet such visits are frowned on if they entail a car drive, and absolutely taboo if it's a long drive. It is hard for those of us who are separated by many miles to believe that the distance somehow compounds the risk of infection.

Hetty58 Sat 09-May-20 17:53:18

BlueBelle, agreed. If you'd been in a shop then that's different.

sodapop, none of my six grandchildren will be going to school until September at the earliest. They may not have the opportunity anyway as it will be a nightmare to reopen schools for just a few weeks and not all kids would be able to attend with distancing.

Buddleja Sat 09-May-20 17:06:28

Would it help to remind yourself that this situation is strictly finite? As soon as either a vaccine or treatments become available things will change very fast and they are predicting a vaccine before the end of the year.

BlueBelle Sat 09-May-20 12:39:37

I have never thought it necessary to wash my clothes every time I ve been out I would if I d been anywhere where I was near people but to sit in your car, go in a field for a wee and then sit in a deckchair provided by your daughter who been in isolation for weeks wouldn’t make me think I needed to strip and wash everything when I got home but that’s me

sodapop Fri 08-May-20 16:39:43

Yes its strangely comforting to know we are all in the same boat. We are doing the best we can for our families by staying safe OliverZach.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 08-May-20 16:37:21

DD along with her two children (5yr old and 8 week old) took the difficult decision to isolate with us as her partner was still traveling into London each day.

I know we are fortunate, but it doesn't stop us from missing our other six GC and AC, it is sometimes a physical pain it hurts so much. It is for ours and theirs health, one DIL has decided not to send GC back to school until September at the earliest.

merlotgran Fri 08-May-20 16:24:02

Spot on! Hetty.

Lots of phrases spring to mind like, 'Get a grip', 'Big girl's pants' etc.

Hetty58 Fri 08-May-20 15:40:55

It really isn't that awful. Nobody is dropping bombs on us. We're not helplessly watching children starve!

AGAA4 Fri 08-May-20 15:34:31

So sorry Tuppence. flowers

Reinforces why we need to stay at home.

Missing all my family so much

Atqui Fri 08-May-20 14:38:44

Yes , it is some comfort knowing that probably everyone on this site and thousands, millions of other people feel,exactly the same- desperate to see our loved ones. It really goes without saying OliverZach

BlueSky Fri 08-May-20 13:32:26

A lot of people in the same predicament here. It's sort of comforting knowing we are not the only ones.

Grammaretto Fri 08-May-20 12:00:57

Of course we are all desperate to see our families again and it is taking its toll.
DGD who is only 2 went rushing up to a total stranger who came to their door - she was so desperate to see another human (or maybe she thought it was me!)

I got very grumpy when a couple of random walkers came down into our garden and when I called out to ask them what they were doing they said "we aren't trespassing are we?" "yes you are and we are shielding". As they left I realised that I was also desperate to see people but wished it could be family.
However, we are sticking to the rules. Several family members and close friends work on the front line.

Be patient and then no-one will be missing when you finally can meet again.

NanaandGrampy Fri 08-May-20 11:41:16

Sorry to hear of your sad loss Tuppence .

Oliverzach, we all want what you want and if we all did what you want to do more and more people would have the terrible loss Tuppence has had.

This really IS a no brainer - it hurts , its sad and its hard but it IS saving lives.

Billybob4491 Fri 08-May-20 10:48:32

So sad to hear of your loss Tuppence, I wish you well.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 08-May-20 10:26:27

Tuppence so sorry, I didn’t check the other posts
I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard at this time to comfort anyone, all we have is the phone, or FaceTime. Nothing can replace a hug.

suziewoozie Fri 08-May-20 10:24:47

No you’re not the only one and I really cannot believe you think you are. Honestly. I hope you’re reading this thread and reflecting on what others are going through.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 08-May-20 10:24:21

Well we all want the same things don’t we.
We want to go to DHs mother’s funeral, but we can’t, in fact none of her adult children can go because they are all shielded, which makes it difficult for the rest of us as their partners. Plus we live 120 mile round trip away.
On the other hand none of us want to catch Covid 19, so I know that whatever we want we have to be patient.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 08-May-20 10:17:51

Yesterday I had, no choice, to make the 110 miles round trip to visit my daughter and believe me in this time of lockdown its not good. For a start I was driving most of the way on roads free of traffic, there was no where to stop for a drink but I had a flask with me, drank my coffee and then of my goodness I needed a wee, ending up stopping to dive into a field. At my daughters I didn't want to go in the house, so sat out side in a deckchair talking to her and sorting out all her medication. Then using my phone to speak to the doctor and chemist. Problem eventually sorted and I was able to go home. Once home, stripped down in the kitchen, put clothes in the washer, washed hands and went for a shower. Believe me with this virus lurking around it is no joy to visit anyone, however much needed. The worry that you might catch it is tremendous and exhausting.

merlotgran Fri 08-May-20 09:43:21

So sorry for your loss, tuppence. flowers

Madgran77 Fri 08-May-20 09:41:31

Tuppence* flowers

Brunette10 Fri 08-May-20 09:37:49

Condolences tuppence flowers - what a truly dreadful time for you.

MawB Fri 08-May-20 09:27:25

flowers Condolences and my sincerest sympathy Tuppence , what a dreadful time for you. flowers

Blinko Fri 08-May-20 07:24:13

Might we get a little leeway on Sunday, does anyone think?

In our case, sons and families live around 100 miles away so it's not possible to meet up at the moment.

We're hoping we'll be able to meet friends, who live locally, retaining social distancing, maybe sharing a cup of tea in each others gardens. Or even a local park.

Outdoors, anyway.