husbands

If they are no feelings left for him and you don’t love him anymore, I think you should get your finances in order and consider living on your own, I couldn’t live with my husband if I didn’t love him, it’s not fair on you or him, everyone deserves to be happy and your husband can find someone else if that’s what he would like to do in time, you are already thinking about what life would be like when he retires, I would be speaking to him and explaining how you feel. You owe him that much,

Good thinking, Sparklefizz, One of the reasons why I left my husband was because he enjoyed being an invalid. The prospect of him developing a long term health problem and expecting me to be at his beck and call was enough for me to give up my home and garden and make a fresh start alone.

Wise words from Sparklefizz and others here. What do you want the rest of your life to be like, Willow78?

How would you feel Willow73 if he suddenly became ill and you had to look after him? Would you feel trapped?

And even worse, what if you suddenly became ill yourself? Would he look after you?

If those prospects fill you with horror, then that is your answer. Start making plans ready for lockdown to end.

Several people on GN left their marriages at your age or older Willow73 including me. It's not easy at first but better alone and happy than miserable with someone else.
However I do think you should talk to your husband and see how he feels, you may be able to reach an accommodation which suits you both. Things are in a state of flux at present so it's not a good time for such big decisions. I hope you find a way through this somehow.

Willow if there's any way you can salvage your marriage try and do so, as living alone isn't easy.
It might appear so at first until realisation kicks in that it's long-term.
Just because interests aren't shared isn't a que to get out of a marriage, find a level playing ground where you can have your interests and leave him to find his.

If you have friends, meet up and/or even holiday with them because if it's a trusting relationship this will be permitted.

It also depends what both of you want from life too. I have a daughter your age Willow and I'd be devastated if she ever parted company with her husband at this late stage in her life and would do my utmost to try and mend things. They are on their own as their AC have all flown the nest.

I'd be thinking more about the financial situation more than anything else particularly in this climate.

If you feel you don't wish to spend the rest of your life with this man, then don't. But plan carefully, save some money and focus your mind on living alone.

Check out all your financial details to get an idea of what divorce will mean in practical terms. When the time is right try a break on your own to think about everything.
Then make the decision.
Good luck

First thought could you afford to go?

I have very different interests to DH, he is all sport which I have no interest in, and I like craft work, reading medical biographies and cookery.

But we do have children and grandchildren, which does provide a common interest. Is this a second marriage, as you say you have no children together? Do you not treat each other's children and grandchildren as your own?

For us, once we had picked ourselves up from the shock of retirement, we started to travel, and that has given us a combined interest.

If you have tried sitting down and discussing what you each want from your retirement and they are two completely different things with no compromises possible, then you might want to consider separate futures, but do try counselling first?

In your situation I would go, it is very difficult to live with somebody when you do not love them.

In time you will become resentful and every little thing he does will annoy you.

It will also give him a chance to find another partner if that is what he wants.