Family just too far away.

The old and the young and those living some distance away are definitely suffering and frankly BJ’s offering is abysmal in the face of what Dominic Cummings did - at the start more or less he decided to get all his family together using a complicated web of excuses - I am lucky in living close to my grandchildren but my son-in-law’s parents aren’t and I feel for them so much because we are closely knit as a family and they pose no risk nor we to them - they are not socialising and could easily make the 2 hour journey without stopping at a garage or service station so they wouldn’t be bursting out of any bubble to get here where we too are in our bubble - Boris has put together such a confusing set of do’s and don’ts that many people are now ignoring them because they see the inherent contradictions. It’s time he recognised that grandparents can make sensible decisions according to their circumstances to allow families to come together.

I know how you feel. We live fairly close so are lucky and have been able to meet in the park for a picnic but even then the 2 metre rule is impossible with very young children. I just could not ignore my 2 year old granddaughter when she went to take my hand or not pass something to the 4 year old. I did feel anxious about it and still do, we have followed every rule before to the letter. But I consoled myself by thinking we were outdoors and if my daughter was a single parent she and the children could come to the house and stay overnight. So allowing our toddler grandchildren to touch us is less risky than that.
I hope you get to see your grandchildren soon. It really is a horrible situation.

Same here. My son lives in Sydney with my grandson and there's no chance of seeing him soon. WhatsApp's OK but Leo's only 4 and can't sit still for 5 minutes - but to see him for 5 minutes is a bonus.

My eldest son and grandchildren, Evie and Jimmy, live in Doncaster and can't wait to see them. We video each Sunday and it's so good to see them all, but they get fidgety which is only natural. Miss them all so much.

Grans who have family close by are so lucky

Our youngest daughter and her family live 80 miles away and we hadn't seem them since February. However since driving further is now allowed, she surprised us on Tuesday by turning up unannounced bringing our two young grandsons. We were delighted! We had a lovely afternoon, but she had been very cautious. They say on the patio whilst we sat in the conservatory with the door open so we could chat. She had brought sandwiches, snacks and fruit and drinks and a portable camping toilet, which she put in the garage! They didn't enter the house at all. They say on some of our garden chairs, but before they left, she cleaned everything they had touched with antibacterial wipes. It wasn't as a family visit should be, with hugs and having a meal together, but it was still a brilliant day after not seeing them for so long.

I think this is a problem for many which I posted about yesterday. We too live a long way from my only son and only grandson, 250 miles or so as we are Devon and they are Hertfordshire and also they have a tiny terraced house and since my grandson was born we always stay in a local hotel or take the campervan to a camp site close by, both of which are impossible.
I admit to feeling very very jealous and envious of those who see grandchildren every day even if only in the garden at least they have spoken to them for real.
Trying so hard to obey rules but getting harder as I have the odd bad day, sorry

You state in you post we live to far a way. Not I.
The rules have changed for people who have been on their on throughout the lockdown.

Although it’s obviously true that we are able to get out without the fear of bombs dropping on us, for some older people they/we , might never see their family again due to ill health, we might not all still be around to see our GCs or ACs when we get back to some kind of normality.
We are being very careful, I’m not going to risk getting the virus before I’ve had the chance to see our family, who live too far away to visit in one day.
We last saw my husbands mother in March, her care home went into lockdown early and she died in May without any of her family able to visit or communicate with her.
That is why the older people are afraid Annefrance. Meanwhile we grin and bear it.

I realise many people are in this situation anyway with children living the other side of the world but it is hard. I have 2 grandchildren who live just over the border from Wales and are 25 miles away, we have been shielding and they have been closely observing the rules so there would be little problem if we went to see them but it is against the rules (and we are glad Wales rules are clear), our one year old granddaughter is in London and we see her on WhatsApp most days, she always smiles when she sees us, but goodness knows when we will see them, I had hoped they could hire a car and come in summer but that looks unlikely, they both work at home, have food etc delivered, socially distance etc so little risk but if we start breaking the rules where does it stop? The second wave is on its way I fear, let's not make it worse. It does seem illogical a single grandparent living alone can visit a family but not two grandparents from the same household, I think it is preparing the way for childcare while parents work

Juicyluicy- it's a support bubble where one household is a single parent or a person who lives on their own. I have been tempted to ask my husband or son in law to move away for a few weeks but I don't think that's quite the spirit of the guidelines!?

Sussexborn ??

I feel for you Gingergirl . We are in the same position. Our son and his family live a five hour drive from Wales where we are supposed to stay in a 5 mile radius of home. We have missed one GD’s birthday and another is coming up. Also they always came to stay with us in August. I doubt this will happen this year.

Thank heavens you don’t live here in the U.K. Annifrance. We don’t want or need stuck up people forcing their smug and supposed superiority down our throats.

Perhaps Annifrance if we, in our grossly overcrowded island, didn’t have 1m illegal immigrants living here, mainly passing through France with b****y Macron turning a blind eye, life would be easier for us too.

If the other Europeans looked after the immigrants who arrived on their shores instead of forwarding them on to us that would help too.

Don’t blame the immigrants not wanting to stay in France or Europe as those from Algeria and French colonies are stuck in appalling Ghettos with no hope at all for the future. Hungry and treated like 2nd class citizens. Hardly a country to boast about.

I won’t even get started on the huge trawlers 35 x times the size of U.K. trawlers, that are emptying the sea of fish and every living thing on the ocean floor.

What a legacy you are leaving for future generations!

Grannyrebel7 I am the opposite to you, I live in Surrey and my grandchildren are in North Wales, it’s very hard not seeing them to cheer you up

We live in Wales and are not allowed to travel further than 5 miles. Our kids & grandkids live in Surrey so we can't visit them and they can't visit us. We haven't seen them for 4 months now and it's getting harder and harder. Thank God for Zoom that's all I can say.

I am yet to meet my 10 week old granddaughter who lives 6 hours away and I have not seen my other 10 year old granddaughter who is 5 hours away since February, I have had moments of sadness, anger and just been in floods of tears but I just hope as each week passes we will get closer to seeing our family and giving them such a squeeze. Mind you my new granddaughter will see us as strangers so I will have to make do with just squeezing her beautiful chubby legs to start with.

I must agree with the post from annufrance. I live abroad and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year so have not been to England since November 2018 to see my large family. We usually visit 2 to 3 times a year. We have had 3 DGGC born and plans had been made to be in England just after the youngest would be born in April but obviously Covid19 put an end to that. So I haven't even had a cuddle and I wonder if I will ever see them or the rest of the family again given my health and the bleddy virus. At least you are all.most likely to see your families again.
Like France our Portuguese President and Prime Minister have been very sensible and have done every thing in a very sensible order so we are coming out of lockdown and know precisely what can and can't be done. But the advice is still Fique em casa - stay at home. It's even in the top right hand of our TV screens.

I'm totally in your boat, Gingergirl so let's keep to our own ends ?. I'm in the bows and you can have the stern! Seriously though, I'm in Northumberland and my three grandchildren live in Bristol. The youngest was born on May 1st so I haven't held her. My daughter is struggling and I want to help her.

I haven't seen either of my AC since Christmas as DD lives in Glasgow and DS and DiL in Bristol, while I'm just outside London. At the end of the month DS anDiL are moving to Suffolk to live with her parents for a few months prior to moving to Germany later in the year. I am so excited that they plan to use me as a loo stop on the move - about half way - but I guess still no hugs! Just hope it isn't raining so we can at least spend a short time in the garden together. Meanwhile my DD is looking to apply for a new job in London. We assume the initial interviews will be done remotely, but if she gets to final interview she may have to come down. If that happens she will take a few days holiday and stay with me in a bubble. We are both desperate for a hug as we both live alone! Isn't it crazy I can clearly remember my last 2 hugs. One was a with colleague who was leaving work back in February and the other was a friend at church at about the same time. We take these normal human interactions so much for granted and being deprived is so hard! DS and DiL are expecting my 1st GC so I hope hugs will be allowed when he or she arrives before they leave for Germany and more long distance relating. Thank goodness for Facetime and zoom!

Juicy Lucy I fear the guidelines state that one person may visit and stay but not if they live with someone eg husband.

So is that a ban on sharing our feelings ?

Thank you SheilasM and Oldbat1. That's exactly the response I was hoping to evoke! Some people seem to feed off other people's misery and so indulge their own. This is NOT helpful in this interim situation and won't improve anybody's wellbeing. How are they going to feel when things improve, as they will, and see how weak they were.

I find sympathy and empathy with many people's situations, have talked to friends having a difficult time with sympathy and none of them are being wimps. Just getting on with it because it is what the situation requires.

Thank God for Macron. He dealt with it strictly and early which why we are in a good position now. We can travel more or less anywhere and see quite a lot of people, best outside, and observe all the PPE. Our book group began again with 8 of us and social distancing. Cafes, bars and restaurants about to reopen. Life here is pretty good. Thank you Macron.

We have to wait and see how it plays out 're visits to and from France, exacerbated by Bojo's daft ideas. UK could have been like here if only. It is a case of wait and see and better not to dwell on it which could lead to disappointment and unhappiness.

Same here I agree if our DGC live abroad we are used to it but we still miss planning next time, especially if far away. Still let's be optimistic!

We are in a similar situation as OP. Both our daughters and their families live 300 miles away so too far for tea in the garden etc. I take comfort in the fact that they live across the road from each other so have been able to have distance contact. I'm just grateful that this has happened when we have technology to keep us in touch visually so the younger children are less likely to forget us. Hardly a week goes by when I don't get a message from my daughter to see if I'm free for a video call as the 3 yr old needs to show me or tell me something and even my other daughters 19 month old runs up to the screen and says hi. It's the 12 and 11 yr old boys who don't communicate much, even if I text them it can be a couple of days before they remember to reply lol.
I shall just keep looking forward to when I can go to stay and alternate between their houses and of course give them all big hugs.

In all honesty people need to get a grip how do you think people coped during the war! Loads of people have lost love ones since this all started and have been grieving alone with no support or proper funerals. I know family where their 2yr old GD has leukaemia but can’t visit. My neighbour has had a new GD who she won’t be able to see . My own husband has cancer but can’t have chemo currently due to COVID. My daughter who lives alone hundreds of miles away has serious mental health issues Our other daughter and family live hundreds of miles away and therefore no hope of visiting. As my dad says life owes you nothing. I won’t allow myself to be sad. I take every day as it comes. We are very fortunate and have a garden, no money worries and our dogs. Things could be so much worse.

I’m a granny with three GC who live in Oz, so as others have said, you just get used to it. Haven’t seen them for 3 years, no idea when we ‘will meet again’

Have 2 more who live in our town, have seen them at a distance a couple of times. They normally come for tea twice a week from school. They are 15 and 12, so not the same as little GC.

‘It is what it is’ I’m afraid.