Family just too far away.

Gingergirl, the main point to bear in mind is - you'll still be alive and well to catch up with them next summer. They won't forget you and won't have to grieve over your death. So the present inconvenience and sacrifice is well worth it!

Apologies for more typos. My hand is quite sore with carpal tunnel & sometimes I hit the wrong key. I should be more careful in my checking. We are recommended to stay within 5 miles of home and we do.

Gingergirl I am in a similar position one GC 2 hours drive away, another 10 hours drive or usually a plane journey within UK. I did make the 2 hour journey a week ago. Garden chair in boot. Took a flask of tea and my own picnic. Sat outside with winter coat on under a huge parasol. Lasted two hours and it was worth it watching GD play in garden and having little conversations. In spite of the "you must not" ruling about using the toilet I did. Had taken a bag with sanitiser, toilet cleaning wipes (flushable) but also a nappy bag to bring the wipes home as well as my picnic rubbish. Wiped the toilet door handles and the light switch. Also took my own hand towel just in case I did need to use soap for handwashing or wiping flask etc. It can be done!

Ginger girl I know your not on your own but would it not be feasible to have a chat with your husband and for you to go and visit alone, as yesterday’s guild lines say you can stay over the night, that would be better than you being upset and missing them now there is a small window of change.

I’m one of the ‘lucky’ ones, if you call being widowed and alone lucky. I can now visit my DD & GCs, who I haven’t seen since February, in Devon and stay in their bubble. I really feel for all of you who can’t yet do that but I don't think the wait will be too long. I do feel somewhat trepidatious at the thought of exiting my isolation and driving 120 miles. It’s weird how being isolated has shrunk (shrunken?) our lives to such an extent that we hesitate to broaden our horizons!

Grandmabeach you raise an interesting point. It didn't seem as bad when everyone was in the same position. The minute you start lifting restrictions for one set of people there is another set who miss out and feel aggrieved.

I fully agree, Ginger, and we (DH and me) are in the same boat - too far away to be able to make it work and, even if we could, only one of us would be allowed. DGS is 8 months and sees us on Facetime but, really, we are just people on the telly. He saw his other grandparents recently (garden/distanced meeting) and was very wary of them. I, too, am very envious of those who can make this new relaxation of the rules work.

I too am missing my daughters and granddaughters more and more. They live 50 and 120 miles away and I haven't seen any of them since February. The two year wouldn't look at me the first time we facetimed but I started talking to her about the books I used to read to her and I think she realised who I was. Now she says 'Nanny read me stories'.
I think I am finding it harder because my DH's family all live nearby and we see his DGC , at a distance, more regularly.
My eldest daughter and myself both have birthdays next week but no chance of seeing each other in the foreseeable future.
There are a lot of us in the same position but it doesn't make it any easier knowing that.

Typo. "Sad" should say "Dad"

I understand fully where you're coming from Gungergirl. We are 60 miles away from our DD & 2 DGC aged 5 & 2. The little one was 2 last month, d I also had a birthday d we've had virtual birthday party over Skype but it's not the same especially without any hugs. My DD is really good about contacting us daily on Skype, but having been used to visiting every week, & childming for our DGD till the recent maternity leave, we often stayed over & just love spending time with them. It doesn't help that my father passed away of suspected C19 & as the adult DGC would have meant more then 10 at the funeral (90 miles away) and only close family permitted, , there were only 4 of us there, my DS & her DH, & me & DH. We didn't even hug each other. Very sad, particularly as Sad was active & a very popular gentleman.
We have been adhering to the guidelines here in Scotland, where we are recommended to stay within miles, & we applaud the Scottish government stance of not relaxing restrictions too soon in the hope we can stop the spread of this horrid virus. However, we long for the day when we can hug those two little ones.
Stay strong. We're doing what we need to do so hopefully that wonderful day will come soon.

I am normally a positive person but today is the first time since lockdown that I am really missing my family. It did not seem so bad before as everyone was in the same position and even people who were within walking distance from family were saying it was hard just shouting from the end of the drive. We were only used to seeing our family once a month anyway. DH and myself still can not visit as one is 2 1/2 hours away an the other 3 hours.
At least we have regular Face times and it is lovely to hear all their news of what they have been doing a home.

Annifrance, your post has pulled me up and stopped me not to feel sorry for myself and count my blessings. My only son and family live in France and I can’t imagine when I’ll be able to see them. I last saw them Christmas. I find it hard now living alone with no family round me.
I’d be interested to hear how you see it speaking from France - when would you imagine you’ll be able to come to the U.K. or they come to you? Will you fly? I feel very nervous about that.
I’ve even toyed with the idea of driving but this scares me too.
I understand France is practically out of lockdown even though the virus hasnt gone away presumably.
I am sorry you’ve had the disappointment of not being able to go ahead with your wedding plans. I hope you’re happy with your new husband.

Some tough situations for so many. My daughter is expecting her first in September (haven't seen her since brief visit at Christmas) and lives a 3 hour drive from us, which we would happily do in a day to see her and take the things we have bought for her and baby. The problem we have is that she lives in Surrey and we live in Wales so are not allowed to travel more than 5 miles from home, never mind leave the country! Hoping that will change by end of July when it looks like I will be back at work.

I don't restrict my sympathy annifrance.
I hope I can feel empathy or sympathy for many in difficult situations.

I think we are resigned to the overseas situations, Lucca although we had hoped to see them this year but now will not.

However, spare a thought for those in Wales whose grandchildren live not very far away - but further than the allowed 5 miles travel! The police are very vigilant here too.

Sympathy does go to others worse off but it doesn’t stop us being sad. I have DS and DGS in Australia, in December it will be two years since I saw them. Other DS and DgC are 2 hours away and I miss them more oddly enough, I suppose I’m used to the Australia situation.

You are not alone Gingergirl!
We are shielding and in Scotland so the rules are stricter though broken by plenty We were on the point of driving to DD 70 miles away but like you our DGC are too young to understand distancing and anyway we are law abiding. She brought the eldest to see us a couple of weeks ago. They sat in the garden and ate their picnic and used the spare loo. It was lovely.
The other DGC are older and farther away. We were going to share a holiday with the one who lives in NZ. All cancelled. We have only spent a few weeks with them since he was born 8 yrs ago but we speak almost daily on WhatsApp.
FFFF sorry for you too. Xx

I do agree with you annifrance, although I think your comment about the older generation are a bit over the top! Sometimes it’s just good to hear that you’re not alone with your circumstances and that others are in the same boat. This is why we come in here and post. If we wanted to disregard the lockdown, I think we would just do it, rather than post how we’re feeling online. I’m sorry that your plans have needed to be cancelled. We’ve had a similar scenario and it’s so upsetting. We all have to find a way through.

We haven’t seen either of our children and families since Christmas/New Year and we feel it, but with one lot 120 miles away and the other nearly 200 miles away it isn’t possible. GC are all teenagers and obviously miss us much less than we miss them, but we still long to be together. Doesn’t look like this year at current rate of progress, but we can’t change it and at least we won’t need to get on a plane when we can meet again.

I live in France and my family in UK. DH and I got married in a brief ceremony in the Mairie in November, mainly to make the b----y brexit debacle easier. It didn't make sense for them all to come in winter so we had planned a big wedding celebration here the first week of the summer holidays with the whole family here for a holiday. And other very dear friends from all over Europe.

Well that isn't going to happen. I could let myself get very upset, I haven't seen them since late October. However this is as it is. It is what the situation requires. It is what we all have to get on with without going into a decline or whingeing. That achieves nothing, and certainly doesn't help our DCs and DGCs if they know we are miserable.

Whatever happened to British fortitude, in the big picture it's not that long, we are hardly deprived as other generations have been during conflict, concentration camps et al. Even in peacetime many families have endured long periods of distance for many reasons. Generation geriatric Snowflake.

Sympathy should rest with the young with small children, possibly living in flats and trying to work and a very uncertain f utures in many aspects, and now DGPs will still not be able to help. Three months in that situation is a hell of a bigger problem than that of the elderly.

Radio 4 is so full of gloom and doom, focusing on people's problems that it must be dragging everyone down and so not helpful.

Gingergirl and others. In the same boat - daughter, her husband and baby granddaughter live 7 hour drive away (they are in England and I am in Scotland).

Dragonfly46, it’s my birthday too this month and although video calls etc will be lovely, I’m actually dreading it. I’d like to put the birthday on hold really!?

I’m so sorry for everyone else on here that have had similar problems. I’m crying reading the responses which has made me realise that it is a big reason for my unhappiness...when it’s easier sometimes just to blame (husband!!) and other more trivial things for feeling down. It’s a small comfort that I’m not alone...and also not going crazy thinking that I’ve got this all wrong and maybe there is a legitimate way after all, to see people a long way off.

Same for me my grandchildren live a 3 hours drive away we usually do childcare for two days every fortnight but haven't seen them since early March. Miss them so much FaceTime is good but no substitute for cuddles and being with them.

FFFF that's so sad. Is there any chance you could meet up half way just for a walk together?
There will be brighter days ahead.