Family just too far away.

Lancslass1

Thank your lucky stars that a) You have grandchildren at all .
Many people who would love them have none and b) that if you do have grandchildren who live in this Country you will be able to meet them hopefully In the not too far distant future.
Most grandparents I have noticed with children and grand children who live in foreign Countries don't seem to complain about their lot.
They accept the situation

Not helpful to try to make OP or anybody feel,guilty that they are voicing their personal sadness.
Yes we all know worse things happen at sea and we all realise we will have to manage somehow, but there are also times when you want to be able to let it all out and we, as grandparents or not seeing grandchildren or not, ought to be able to sympathise.
OP I haven’t read all the replies, but is there no way you could “bubble” with them?
Keep your chins up - better days will come ?

starbird

Anyone on the internet can use zoom for free for 40 minutes (and then reconnect again for 40 minutes if they wish) or you can pay for unlimited time. The best way for families is to use a computer screen (as opposed to phone/ tablet) and if it is a laptop, each prop it up somewhere such as in front of the tv. Small children can be encouraged to write down in advance (or mum can) things they want to tell or show granny so that they are not tongue tied. Alternatively at a certain time each day Granny can read them a story ( if bedtime a tablet is handy - they can be in bed with it) or it could be a serialised story at a set time each day. Another option is just to have the screen there while the children play, grandparents can be reading/ sewing so that it is like being with them and as in real life someone will look at the screen and say something to the others just as though they were in the room. It may seem strange at first but you get used to it. Another way, if you have a tablet or laptop, is to join each other at mealtime eg Sunday lunch, with a screen taking the place of a person at the table, or on a side table or somewhere at one end, such that it shows everybody, while you do the same your end, so that it is like eating together. If you have more than one family member they could all be included, but unless someone is directing it, the screen will be split to show each participant in a separate box. If you have the technology the screen can be directed onto a tv screen. Imagine the thrill for a small child to see grandma on the tv talking to them!

With respect Starbird that is not the point.

Having said all that, I do understand that it must be horrible knowing that your family is abroad and that you won't see them for ages. for you all.

It seems to me that it is in some ways harder for those who live quite close to their families and are used to seeing them more often than for the rest of us. My widowed friend whose family lives 40 miles away was used to seeing them very frequently and having her DGC to stay often too. Now she is able to drive that far and is delighted, but I know it was very hard for her.

We are at least 150 miles from all our family and are dependent on public transport as well as being very careful for health reasons, so have decided that there is little chance of seeing any of them this year and have just had to get on with it. We are very lucky to have each other, and I do appreciate that. And weekly Zoom quizzes and FaceTime chats are great.

I agree the media etc are insensitive when it comes to reporting children and their grandchildren being able to get together again now - my two daughters and GC all live abroad - I don’t know when we will see them again given the current crisis. It causes us a lot of heartache - I just be comforted by knowing they are safe ...

So sorry for everyone, there are many difficult situations here, and who can say whether one person's feelings are more valid than another's? However, I will say one thing : those of us who have DC and DGC living abroad, so we will miss a whole year or more of their lives "in the flesh" often, in my experience, show more empathy than those who are being deprived of contact for a few months. I hear things like "Well, I don't see my DGC every day" or "Well, you can always Skype". Maybe we can empathise more with others' pain because we go through it every day, every week, every month ... Well, you get the picture. Yes, it's horrid. Love and hugs to you all ?

I live in another country from my grandchildren, already had a visit cancelled and had another planned for August. I was hoping to go ahead if the 2 week quarantine restriction is lifted before August but my daughter is nervous about me going, especially being at airports etc. I do understand but feel so sad that I won't be seeing my grandchildren this year, I know I'm not the only person in this situation but it is ver hard

Anyone on the internet can use zoom for free for 40 minutes (and then reconnect again for 40 minutes if they wish) or you can pay for unlimited time. The best way for families is to use a computer screen (as opposed to phone/ tablet) and if it is a laptop, each prop it up somewhere such as in front of the tv. Small children can be encouraged to write down in advance (or mum can) things they want to tell or show granny so that they are not tongue tied. Alternatively at a certain time each day Granny can read them a story ( if bedtime a tablet is handy - they can be in bed with it) or it could be a serialised story at a set time each day. Another option is just to have the screen there while the children play, grandparents can be reading/ sewing so that it is like being with them and as in real life someone will look at the screen and say something to the others just as though they were in the room. It may seem strange at first but you get used to it. Another way, if you have a tablet or laptop, is to join each other at mealtime eg Sunday lunch, with a screen taking the place of a person at the table, or on a side table or somewhere at one end, such that it shows everybody, while you do the same your end, so that it is like eating together. If you have more than one family member they could all be included, but unless someone is directing it, the screen will be split to show each participant in a separate box. If you have the technology the screen can be directed onto a tv screen. Imagine the thrill for a small child to see grandma on the tv talking to them!

My DD’s and DGC live locally but my eldest DD has one child who is on vulnerable list and my DH has also been shielding at their house so meet ups are pretty much off the cards. Second DD and DGC are in good health so a meeting might be possible in a park or at the beach. However I have had my spleen removed as a result of cancer surgery and DD 3 whom I am staying with is a lone parent with type 1 Diabetes which we are now told makes her high risk so we aren’t sure what to do.
Like everyone else I am badly missing the family I can’t see, but I have had experience of it having previously lived 120 miles away and only being able to visit every few months due to work

I see a lot of sense in Kate54's post saying that once the holiday home rental market re-opens, planned for July 4th, it will coincide with more bubbles for families to stay with each other. Fingers crossed.

We are just using Zoom, a family get together/quiz every Sunday, and other occassional times. Not idea, but the youngest ones are over 200 mikes away so don't see that every week in the flesh anyway.

Like.
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Thank your lucky stars that a) You have grandchildren at all .
Many people who would love them have none and b) that if you do have grandchildren who live in this Country you will be able to meet them hopefully In the not too far distant future.
Most grandparents I have noticed with children and grand children who live in foreign Countries don't seem to complain about their lot.
They accept the situation

It is hard but they are safe you are safe and you can use all the technology of today to keep in touch

Be glad it’s only for a few months many on here have their grandkids in different countries and rarely see them This is a blip for you It will end and fade

My 4 year old grandson lives about hour and half drive away. We haven't got a car so would have to 2 trains. Don't think it's fair to expect them to drive your and half to sit in the garden I know my grandson will want to go inside get all the toys out. And also he would want cuddles. My daughter was in tears yesterday as she misses us so much, but I live with my husband so not a single household. We nun normally see them about every 6 weeks. It's been quite difficult some days. But will not break the rules.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trying to think positive thoughts, I’m hoping that if the hospitality industry opens up on July 4th, as planned, and that includes hotels, keeping families apart indoors and overnight can no longer be possible.
Maybe hotels won’t be open yet but holiday cottages will be so what’s to stop grandparents and other family members booking them?
Logically, nothing..... so I’m optimistic that the new ‘bubble’ relaxation will soon be extended to include more of us.

It's obviously hard for couples to see single grandparents being able to visit their grandchildren. But you know lockdown has been very hard for people who live alone! I know when I've been having a "down day" I've felt so envious of the people who were able to say "we".do this or "we" went for a walk etc. It must of course make you feel more deprived now when you see the singles allowed to do something you would love to do but are not allowed to do yet. But your time will come surely and in the meantime just keep on enjoying your "we" time. Incidentally I'm in Scotland so cannot travel more than 5 miles. My nearest family are 80 miles away and it looks as if we might be able to see each other towards the end of July if all continues to go smoothly ???. Maybe if Boris were to give you some indication of when people might be permitted to travel further you would feel better? It would be something positive to look forward to. Sending ? and ? to cheer us all up ?

Juicylucy I am really sorry and know you mean well BUT please be careful when giving advise, that it is correct and within the guide lines. It is only single people living completely alone who can go and stay overnight at their chosen "bubble" place. couples cannot chose that one of them have a bubble separately that is NOT the guide lines.

I appreciate it is difficult for all Grandparent couples, but having said that you have each other for company. Grandparents or any person who have lived alone during covid19 have had no one. Now is the chance for them to chose their bubble, which in itself is causing a lot of grief, unless you chose someone completely outside the family. For partners living separately who have been separated for 3 months this is a huge step forward. Every case has its advantages and disadvantages sadly.

I only have one much loved GC (who lives near the other grandparents 250 miles away) and no hope of any more. So, first of all, lucky you who have several to take an interest in,wherever they may live.

Yes, it's not easy under the present circumstances. I have missed my 'big birthday' family celebrations this year; and also a family holiday, which was going to make up for a year of going without visits at all due to two of our immediate circle being in and out of hospital with life threatening conditions last year (luckily, they survived).

But we are not at war; everyone in our little family is still alive and staying in touch; and we look forward to seeing them again when this becomes possible.

In the meantime, Zoom meetings that we can all attend together, where we can play games and show each other things we have made or grown, have made a lot of difference.

I think it is unkind to criticise people for being sad at not seeing their DGC, DC etc. Of course there are people who are worse off but that doesn't make it better for those who are sad.
Every situation is different so please do not judge.

There was a very smug poster on the Good Morning thread from NZ. They are lucky there the pandemic is over - easy when you have a small isolated country.

We are all different and need to be treated that way.

Well said Sussexborn. Annifrance I suggest you stay there. You chose to go and are now complaining about it.
I am another grandma who lives miles away from my now grown up grandsons. They are near Glasgow, we are in Liverpool.
My husband was in the army and we spent the first 20 years of our marriage moving around, including six years in Germany. Contact with our families was by letter and the occasional phone call.

My family all live at least 150 miles away. I cannot travel because of my health. My son visited me for the day in February. He is 71 and has a heart problem. I last saw my grand daughter and her three small children on my 94th birthday three years ago. A grandson and his wife at Christmas and other grandson and great granddaughter seven years ago. We all had a Zoom party on my birthday last month but keep in touch via Messenger.

My fear is that those of us who have followed the guidelines and avoided temptation to travel to see our loved ones may have an even longer wait thanks to the reckless who have broken free.

Thanks to those who are ignoring social distancing guidelines a second wave seems inevitable. This could happen before the rules are relaxed enough for us all to see our grandchildren.