..... for asking someone NOT to visit?

Thanks for backing me up over visiting, I feel stronger now and relieved that I'm not being unreasonable.
As for 80 year old farmers working late - well - its not at all unusual around here where we have small farms mostly managed by one man, with casual help during busy seasons.
Personally I think he's an idiot but have to acknowledge if I managed to persuade him to knock off at 6pm he'd drive me nuts, fretting over what needed doing. I've seen too many farmers retire and then die within a few months to insist he sit around at home all day.
Those of you married to workaholics will know what I mean.

Not at all, I have just put off my nephew visiting at the weekend as they have a very active one year old who will be touching everything. Both of the parents have been working throughout and we have been self isolating, we've not been to any shops apart from pharmacy and have been very careful. I think they are ok with this but I'm not absolutely sure. The date has been in the diary for months and we will re-arrange for a few months time.

No you are not being unreasonable. They are! Stick to your guns and stay safe.

Naty
Touche

Ha ha. Back in January, many posters got upset that I wanted in-laws to call before coming. Now everyone has changed their tune.

Your house = Your rules

Invite them when you feel in control and confident. Don't feel pressured to please or placate.

Have a meeting outside and have them bring their own everything.

You have to do what feels right for you so that’s really what it comes down to
But I di have to take issue with beau1958 when she writes
Not only is it against the law of course it’s not against any laws there are no laws about CV there are suggestions and recommendations but no laws beau

I think you did the right thing too. We still aren't seeing hardly and wouldn't dream of having anyone come into the house yet so far all we have done is had my son, DIL and granddaughter in our garden with us sitting at a socially distanced table and gone to see my 97yr old mum once and sat in her garden.
We are fortunate that our family are happy to fit around us and they won't pressure us to visit them or come to see us until we feel ready.

You did right,they did wrong, end of story.There are many thoughtless people out there, who havent a care for others.Keep safe, sending good wishes to you.

What made you think that he felt insulted? I agree with you saying "No" but are you over reacting? Maybe give them a call or send a small card to say that you hope everyone will be able to meet up again in the future when you and your husband feel safe to do so.

You did the right thing.

Why would he not be working on the farm?
My husband is 73 and designs and then physically builds his work. In recent years he has taken on smaller jobs to give himself more flexibility and we no longer employ others except for calling in plumbers and electricians. He has a strong client base of 'little old ladies' too. They know they can trust him, he is friendly and easy to talk to and totally honest. he has enjoyed being at home for the lock-down but has potential work until the end of next year when he goes back. He speculated that he might finish at the end of next year because he wants to build an extension to our house but then qualified that by saying that he would never let his 'little old ladies down' so would definitely still be working for them when he is eighty, but would not advertise for work. He is very fit and healthy(touch wood).In fact when some of our elderly male clients have been dying they have asked my husband to please take care of any building stuff that comes up when they have died because they don't want their wives to have to worry about strangers coming to the house.
When men stop working and don't feel that they have a purpose or a value they often die prematurely.

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. I am very annoyed by my husband who has just told me I am unreasonable for keeping to the restrictions and being unwilling to have our children and grandchildren in the house and for reminding him to wash his hands. We see our children and grandchildren in the park which is fine but he thinks they should come to the house. in doors too. And he forgets to wash his hands after going out and then doesn't wash them properly. It annoys me because he is putting me at risk as well as himself. Then he goes into a huff accusing me of being unreasonable when I remind him.

Am I the only person who didn't get past the fact that OPs over 80year old husband was out working on the farm?

You aren’t being unreasonable. They should have asked if you were having visitors yet. If they are people that you like, why not phone them and suggest that they come over with a picnic for themselves, on the next warm day. You could then all sit outside and have a nice distanced catch-up.

Maybe they offered to visit in case you were feeling a bit isolated. They asked, you answered. Personally I wish all human interactions were a straightforward as this. I guess you could have ended with "when we finally emerge from this virus you are the first people I will want to see" to make it clear it's the situation, not them personally :D

much better to be safe than sorry. We are all out of our comfort zone at the moment - so best to do what you feel is right for you.

You are allowed to choose your bubble. Well done you for stalling their visit. This is not always easy with congenial relationships and most of us are easing up at different rates irrespective of government guidelines. Stick to your comfort zone and things should work out well for you. Perhaps you should run this zone past your husband to assess what his might be?

As Hetty58 said.

You were not being unreasonable, just because guidelines say we can form a bubble doesn’t mean you have to.
My rule of thumb is, I follow whatever the Queen is doing, she is head of state, and will be privy to all the up to date news. I am 64 and in the shielding group.xx

No, you weren't unreasonable; they were, but in the interest of peace in the family, perhaps you should ring up and say you are sorry if you sounded abrupt about it the other day, but that you aren't having vistors yet.

You must have arrangements that you are comfortble with. We are all feeling our way through and should not do things that make us uneasy, however much others might not like it.
If your husband's relatives are put out that is a pity but..they will just have to get over it!

No, you have to look after yourself and DH. Simple!

No: you are not being unreasonable.
Do what you feel comfortable with, and others should respect your decision.

You are being sensible, certainly not unreasonable your health and safety comes first

Seems reasonable to me and its up to people to decide whether to have visitors or not. (A pretty good excuse too to avoid those you'd rather not see - look on the positive side!). My sister was recently discharged from hospital (not covid related), and I took over a potted plant for her, phoned her from outside in the car to tell her to collect it from the door step to save any face to face contact (or the plant being stolen). She came to the door and we had a really nice catch up across the pavement and her front garden. So maybe of you have a front drive, visitors could talk to you from their car while you're just inside your front door? Just a suggestion.