If you were a school bully

Bullying doesn't stop after school, people have to contend with it in work also.

My plan would be to screenshot it then post it on the forum. No need to remove name. Obviously I'd already have reported it to GGHQ.

I was bullied at school and it left my self esteem in tatters 50 years on i still feel like the ugly fat girl in the playground

I only ever read reminiscences from people who were bullied. The bullies themselves stay silent. Is it because they are ashamed or - worse - because they are oblivious to what they’ve done?

My brother was bullied to a horrendous extent at school and even now, 30+ years later, it's left scars, both physically and mentally.
While not a particularly vindictive person, I do sometimes hope that the "boys" responsible have suffered just a little of what they put him through.

At my all girls school there were several bullies in my year; one girl was very unpleasant to me, and would open my desk and spoil my work, and take things that I needed to use in other lessons and hide them - it didn't go on for long but I have never forgotten how bad I felt. Two other girls - close friends - were extremely attractive, and made the lives of the plump and plain really grim. I kept out of their way, but disliked them and felt for the victims. I read on Facebook by sheer chance that one of them had died last month - it was a strange feeling of relief, and how odd after almost sixty years to have that emotion, given that I wasn't a victim?

Jane10
I noticed that too on here! There was a group of 3 grans who were nasty.
I stopped commenting on anything for about 3 years.
They seem to have disappeared. I still only rarely comment but like reading comments from others.

Post made me think - at primary I spent a lot of time 'in the corner' - they thought I was naughty until they discovered I was deaf! At the same time I was almost never able to finish school meal as I'm left handed and that was not allowed. And I had to choose routes to walk to and from school carefully to avoid the 'big girls' who would try to chuck others into the canal. The odd thing is until now, I never ever thought I was bullied. Maybe I was.

I notice that nobody has actually answered the OP's post and admitted to being a bully ... I wonder why?
Frosty60, you sound desperate. Please reach out to others for some help, maybe those more sympathetic than whoever it was who told you to "get on with it". Remember, you can always vent on GN and, if anyone tries to bully you on this forum, call them out and report them immediately.

HI
My daughter was racially bullied at secondary school although the school decided to turn a blind eye. She had a strong team of friends who together overcame every problem. Very happy to say this made her and her friends to persevere to do better at school and they all exceeded all the school expectations and they all went on to go to university.
I am very proud of her now she has studied law and has come through with flying colours.
They regularly get together and discuss what happened to them but at the age of 22 years now, they are proud that they paved a change for the better at that school and some have siblings at the same school which has become more positive in the recent years.
I would like to thank the bullies as I believe they may have helped make a change and definitely made these group of girls
stand their ground and made them stronger if anything.
So Thank you to them, and oh by the way the bullies are often seen walking the streets wasting their lives away.

I recall going to an all girls Senior School and suddenly being confronted by awful bullies from a local estate. After a while I started retaliating and in hindsight taking it too far at times. It was a case of sink or swim ! But you learn as you get older and in my previous career, I had to contend with verbal bullies in the work place. Men who thought women should be at home in the kitchen/bedroom, instead of holding down a senior position. I learnt many tactics of verbal put downs when they started, it makes me laugh when I think back. I was proud of myself initiating a successful sexual harassment case against a manager too, I refused to allow him to humiliate me in front of others, continuously undermining my authority. I make my GC laugh as they say I have an answer for everything ?

One of the group of bullies lived down my road, we were really good friends, really similar and had great times together.

The only real difference between us is that I was neglected, old tatty clothes, hair always a wild mess, mum's old cast offs (not due to money, mum's wants came before my needs) and she was always well turned out and had the latest trends.

She was more of a tagger on with the popular crowd at school but she stood there and laughed while people put gum in my hair or my clothes in the shower or hit me and called me names.

Eventually our friendship died because of it. She is no longer friends with any of them and we are in contact but not close. I made other friends along the way and we just never rekindled anything.

I get it in a way, being part of that group was protection. If she had hung out with me at school, she would have been bullied too.

Maybe the real friendship we could have had would have outshone that though. Made it worth it.

I forgive her completely and maybe now is the time to rekindle things when we are all so distant and online communication so important.

Or maybe we are both happy as things are

Esmerelda beat me to it. I was about to ask if anyone would actually admit to being a bully at school.

I wonder what kind of opinion they had of themselves. We often hear the term, swaggering bully but is/was it a front for deep insecurity?

I only encountered bullying in my first year at grammar school. Thankfully I was only there for one term before we moved. I stood up to the bully and although I was punished (along with the bully) I suddenly found myself with a lot of friends!

I suspected there would be bullies in my next school but there weren't. It was a happy and thriving environment.

I was bullied at secondary school one day I'd had enough the wormed had turned! I told her and crew to be in the playground after school and we would finish it once and for all! Everyone turned up I was shaking like a leaf but I was there she didn't turn up, she kept away after that all credibility gone. She was a coward.

I was bullied at Infant school because I had 'ginger' hair. I was called a liar by a teacher in front of the class as I wrote a story about my brother who was in care (long story of post partum depression with my Mum) and had the mickey taken out of me due to my surname. My youngest son was bullied at school because he was slightly overweight. He has a large frame and was broad shouldered even as a child. He stopped eating and I was quite worried. Both my sons then took up Judo. The bullying stopped after they gave a demonstration at the school fete and had medals presented in assembly. I was helping with swimming lessons one day and asked one of the school bullies why he did it, the other children at the time were being nasty to him as his socks had holes in them. He said he was being bullied by another boy to do it. The other boy it turned out was being treated terribly by his Father, him and his brother were locked out for the night if they were late home and had to sleep in the shed and their Mother suffered terrible abuse. I wonder if much of these bullying traits start at home or are the result of insecurities. What they do not realise is the long term impact it can have on people. Sorry if that went on a bit.

In my second year at grammar school my Whole class bullied one of the Teachers, both new to teaching, Young and with a lisp. He eventually had a nervous breakdown.

The headmaster and staff must have discussed the best way to punish us and what they did was very clever. They "sent us to Coventry". We would enter their classrooms to be totally ignored for the Whole lesson and then be told they were too disgusted by our behaviour towards Mr X to want to teach us.

We were uterly shocked and soon became a model class Group!

Sorry about all those capital letters...not intentional!

My youngest DS was bullied relentlessly from age of 5. Changed schools at 6.5 yrs. Happy times until a lad from previous school also moved schools. Secondry school no better. Eventually we contacted Red Balloon Cambridge (a school for bullied children) from day one he was a changed boy. 12 children in a home style environment. It was amazing.
He completed his education there. He is mid 30s now and still suffers from effects of the morons who made his life a complete misery. Any bullies our there IT DOESN'T GO AWAY

I felt i was picked on because i was strange.now found i have autism .also had itchy scalp (psoarsis)so they called me flea bag.i did write on my old school facebook page .how i felt but they just laughed it off.not nice .but that was years ago..still feel left out of things but maybe thats the way i come across.i voice my opinions and my daughter upsets me again .

I was bullied a bit on and off, and I have never been the most confident person.
Sadly bullying doesn't just happen at school, it can happen in the workplace too - it happened to me about 14 years ago; I was bullied by a senior manager who took a dislike to me, to the point that I ended up off sick for 3 months with stress. Happily for me bully manager had left by the time I went back. I have subsequently lefy and moved onto a better workplace

I was bullied for first two years of schooling. My lunch money was stolen every day and teachers did nothing. You had to fight back was their advice. I’m not sure they were wrong either. My daughter is now a schools counsellor and of course has to advocate ... talking through it... egotist I gotta with bullies. I don’t think this approach works at all. She said the same hen her son started being bullied from day one of school which lasted all his small life. Try as they might to get this one boy to leave my grandson alone, he never did and there didn’t seem to be any consequences except a weeks suspension in four years . The bully didn’t like school , so how did that help!? When he returned he started on grandson again.... finially after four years my grandson escaped. All his classmates went on to the same secondary .... my grandson made the choice to go elsewhere without any of his real friends. All because of this nasty little ‘mis-understood’ bully!! The school was useless in tackling it... I can’t help thinking that ‘six-of-the-best’ would’ve pulled him up short and sharp. But of course I’m not allowed to say it!

‘Negotiate with bullies’

Perhaps someone can explain to me something that puzzles me. Why is it that, whenever we hear of victims of bullying speaking out about their experiences, it's always in the passive voice ('was bullied'). If that was me, I'd have no hesitation in naming names and telling it like it was, e.g. "Evelyn bullied me at school". Perhaps it's because they can remain anonymous that they carry on?

Here’s a thought .... put all those bullies on and island and let them loose on each other... they have NO idea how they hurt people and sometimes for life!

Got to add.... my grandson has taken up boxing.... he’s thirteen and 5’78” ...nobody bullies my mild mannered boy now!