Hubbies deafness is driving me to distraction

My late H used to suffer from periods of deafness and I would tease him by mouthing my words without using my voice and he used to get agitated and shout " I didn't hear a word you said " while I'd be in fits of giggles.
I bought some headphones so that he could sit in another room to watch the TV rather than have the sound blasting out.

His deafness used to come and go, but he wasn't deaf in the sense of the word or I'd have marched him along for a hearing aid. I couldn't have done with any shouting.

It was bouts of catarrh that he had, but he didn't half panic One day when the heel came off his shoe he thought he'd suddenly gone lame I just used to laugh. I miss all that though.

I was on the verge of being measured for hearing aids before lockdown. I'd had all the tests. NHS

Did an online video call with audiology at the hospital yesterday. She showed me the type of aid I'd be getting and went through a few more questions about when I most need them.

I am now on the waiting list to be measured up. They are not starting routine appointments (which mine is) for quite a while, She anticipates it will be 6-8 months for an appointment at the county hospital or 9 - 12 months if I want to go to the local hospital.

DH said he promises to always face me when talking to me! Wonder how long that will last.

God! I had the same problem with my late father. I used to make him put his hearing aids in as soon as I got to his house or I wouldn’t speak. He didn’t realise just how exhausting it was to have to shout everything several times in an effort for him to hear what was being said. He hated wearing them in restaurants which I sympathised with as he said the background noise was magnified and unpleasant. The only problem with that was that we either ate in silence it the entire restaurant heard every word I said to him.

Jennyluck. I think specsavers have branches which work in partnership with the nhs.
I'm not sure if you can self refer for a test with them.

I fully sympathize as I spent months shouting at my husband to get his ears checked as he was constantly saying what, eh, can’t hear. Eventually he went and he has 40% hearing loss in one ear and 30% loss in his other. He was then given one to try out and he said he couldn’t believe the difference. Oh, we are in Spain so we had to pay, he had the choice of three, €500, €1000 or €1300. Being the mean bugger he is he asked for the cheapest, so I told him to get the middle one as was afraid the cheap one would be no good. He is only getting the one for now.

So, problem solved you might think. But no, he says he keeps forgetting to put it in. I went berserk and told him we are not wasting our money if he isn’t going to use it, so time will tell.

You would think they would love to have their hearing restored! I would refuse point blank to go out anywhere with him unless he has his hearing aid in and refuse to have anyone in the house while he is there. Sometimes you need a bit of tough love to make them sit up and notice. Good luck!

"More expensive hearing aids make no difference whatever."

I think they do if smaller as less likely to hurt the ears. I agree they don't make any difference to actual ability to hear

Just a question, can you get a hearing test from nhs without being referred from your gp??

I have the same problem with my husband, every thing I say I have to repeat, and make sure I pronounce my words properly. It drives me mad, like someone else said, in the end I don’t tell him some things, as it’s too hard to get him to understand.

As I’ve said before on gn, he does have dementia as well. And being hard of hearing is a factor in dementia.

I, also, have 2 NHS hearing aids which I refuse to wear, for the same reason! They really are absolutely dreadful. They seem to amplify the background noise but not the conversation you are trying to listen to.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to get the smaller ones.

I'd do what quizzqueen recommends
...have a non verbal signal to him to say: " you are not hearing me"

I just had a look online and found this, Alexa

www.makaton.org/training/OnlineWorkshops

MissAdventure, can one learn makaton online

Rosina I have to disagree with you. I wore NHS aids for years before going private. If the aids are digital they will be adjusted by computer to the individual hearing loss, regardless of NHS or private. My private ones are far superior to the NHS ones. Not only can I hear better but there is also a program to help reduce my tinnitus. An absolute bonus!

My sister was recently told by an NHS audiologist that private ones would always be superior. Her private ones are rechargeable and so no need for batteries. Technology is improving all the time.

I was told by the NHS audiologist to not bother in going down the private route for aids; she said that there is nothing superior to the NHS models, which are adjusted by computer to suit your hearing loss, and the sevicing and batteries are free - as are the aids, still. Private repairs and batteries are expensive.

It's best to go back to the audiologist to get them adjusted or replaced. My husband's were carefully checked and he gets all batteries and any repairs free.

I can do a little bit of makaton. Even easier than bsl.
I wish they would teach it in all schools.

I would like to learn to sign . I am deaf and have NHS hearing aids and signing is so beautiful to watch and probably easier to learn than playing the guitar.

As have posted before DD had hearing loss at 32 and immediately , with good grace and no fuss got hearing aids thus putting her father to shame !

I stopped making allowances , didn’t speak up and refused to repeat myself after years of husband insisting there was no problem- he booked for an appt within two weeks !!!

It does sometimes have its funny moments, just made a comment to dh about why some brassieres are so expensive he replied, " perhaps they are difficult to grow" - what are, his reply "salvias"[grin}

For a sideways look at this problem read "Deaf Sentence" by David Lodge. Funny, sympathetic, explanatory, heart rending.

I had a hearing aid for 5 yrs due to moderate hearing loss in one ear which was not resolved despite two surgeries. Sadly it became a victim of covid as got flipped off ear when removing a facemask outside a shop. So I am researching what to do now.
There is now a lot of new stuff on the techie side but I have been told that the basic enhancement of sound is about the same. They are now 'bluetooth' and can be controlled by an App but I wonder if I would be bothered to use same? You can also have sound sent directly to the hearing aid from a TV or phone. Also there is facility to track where it might be located if lost. As for comfort in ear, it was never a problem for me as main item was behind the ear. But for others the transmitter piece in the ear has a soft silicone cap that can be altered in size for fit and comfort. Other designs have a larger rigid plastic in ear piece and this can be custom made to match your own ear if standard one uncomfortable. The other item now generally available is the rechargeable batteries. I am wondering about that as I was used to the batteries and easy to have a spare with me at any time. I would worry about leaving charger behind in travelling and it being yet another item to be plugged in to add to clutter in bedroom.

I tended only to put on h aid when I was in company/class/meeting. In the early days I was advised to wear for up to 5 hours a day so the brain adapts to the new source of sound. Also I had it initially set at a low level and the audiologist adjusted it upwards over a couple of months to "prescription level". Lots of finer points that need following up and a pity that people do not persevere to get the best use out of same.

The best advice I got was from an older lady who said not to leave it too late to get an aid as would be easier to get used to if started younger.

I have a permanent sore throat because of my husbands deafness.....I’ve now put up with it for 15 years. Selfish people , who think we should all hurt ourselves so they can remain hearing. We don’t talk now.... no point ...I refuse to injure myself anymore !

I am deaf, and it started when I was 10 but didn't realise it (thought I just couldn't concentrate at school). Took me a long time to realise I was missing out, tried one when we lived in Aberdeen - it was terrible so gave up. Tried again when we moved to Harrogate. The ear in question wasn't suitable for normal NHS so had a mini op to fit a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid - Wow the difference!! Found out the conventional NHS would benefit other ear. My hearing is not perfect, but it's a hang site better than without. I realised I had tinnitus and the hospital made alterations which improved my hearing a bit more. I can't speak highly enough of the NHS for my hearing aids. DH doesn't understand I still can't hear him when the TV is blaring (which it usually is). I generally use subtitles. How old is your DH? Is he working? How does he cope? He definitely should go back for an NHS appointment!!

I feel your pain! Apparently I and everyone else mumbles all the time!

You have my total sympathy. My DH claims he doesn’t need hearing aids then why am I having to interpret what people say on the TV when the sound is turned up to 70!!!!!!!!!! My head was aching last night and I left him and went to bed soon. Stubborn men!!!!!!!