Hubbies deafness is driving me to distraction

It must be very annoying for you muddynails, love your username btw, it’s strange when he could easily afford a small privately bought aid, which would solve the problem so easily, and then stop the arguments and both be relieved

As someone with quite severe hearing loss I can only second suggestions for those who live with someone who is hearing impaired. I wear my very effective hearing aids however DH insists on having long conversations with me whilst he is in another room, has his head inside a cupboard or has the television blaring. When we’re with company and someone is talking to me he will start a conversation with another nearby person which then means that I have two conversations competing in my ears.
We have discussed ways to deal with my deafness such as facing me, one person speaking at a time, being in the same room etc but he manages to do so for a while but then forgets and reverts to previous behaviour.
It isn’t easy living with someone who is hearing impaired and I know it is very frustrating having to repeat yourself but you do need to stop and think before expecting to be heard.

My neighbour is deaf as a post and refuses to wear his hearing aids. His wife gets so irate with him and I can hear her shouting at him through the walls. It must be annoying for both of them.

Conversation last night with DH who refuses to go for hearing test:?
Do you want a cup of tea?
I didn’t put it there, it was there when I got in!
No, do you want a cup of tea?
OK but I don’t want any horseradish or gravy?
DO YOU WANT A CUP OF THAT BROWN lEAFY BEVERAGE WE HAVE EVERY DAY ABOUT THS TIME?
Oh yes please, that would be lovely dear !

I have learned a new language, he wears glasses and has eye checks regularly so why not hearing test?

our daughter in law was direct with my husband - "you're making life more difficult for all of us by not getting and using decent hearing aids". Did the trick in the way nothing gentler from wife and children did. Thankyou d in law - improved our lives no end

What is it with men ! Same in my house, I have to repeat practically everything.

I lived with this problem for years.DH developed hearing issue in his 40s Would not believe me he had a problem until children told him it wasn't me talking softly that he said was why he didn't hear as they could hear me. Two hearing aids and and a big improvement. They do need regular tweaking and adjusting, it's not a case of they will work on original setting forever more. Your DH should persevere and go for monitoring appointments. My DH now has a cochlear implant which whilst a lot better doesn't give perfect hearing. No need for hearing aid in other ear though.

It is often hilarious in my house with my mis-hearing what is being said and I do wear hearing aids. It definately seems as if your husband needs to return for some adjustments or new aids to the audiology department.
Hearing aids will not replace any lost hearing but help you with the hearing you do have making the whole experience better but not perfect.
The new aids from NHS are much better but I have had to go private as my loss is more complex than those aids can deal with.
I have private aids now that are re-chargeable and bluetooth to my mobile phone! Expensive but makes talking on the phone so much better. I can also make adjustments with an app on the phone for tv or noisy situations.
Again this helps but I do still sometimes struggle particularly when my OH talks to me with his head in the wardrobe or from upstairs!

I work for a company that designs and manufactures hearing loops for commercial installations. What we are finding from feedback from hearing aid users and advocacy groups is that very often installers will just tick a box and not install a loop that will provide a positive benefit so hearing aid users think that is the best they can get. Hearing aid with T Coil fitted are often not activated by the audiologists so once again the user thinks the poor performance is all they can expect. Another thing to note that the very small aids do not have a t coil so at the theatre etc you may not get a good experience. There are small personal devices they will fit in a pocket and you may use your own ear buds and they have a t coil in the, as well. The Williams AV Pocketalker is one I have heard good reviews from. The one thing we have found with our work with Hearing Link is that a lot of people do not understand what is possible and that people with hearing loss rarely complain.

Sorry to have to repeat myself again. Not wearing hearing aids invites dementia in faster. If you do not hear your brain will forget sounds, never to recall them. Find Savlon cream inside ear canal will soothe some occasional slight itch from within the ear.

Lots of sympathy my Dh is similar - also has had toothache since prior to lockdown, won't go to dentist, heart failure nurse has advised contact GP re frequent headaches - won't go. Happen to moan to me though - PITA!! Sadly there are many similar

I am in exactly the same position as you Muddynails. My DH chooses to wear his hearing aids only when there is a TV programme he is particularly interested in. Consequently he doesn't take interest in any other TV, struggles to follow conversations and often mishears what I say causing irritation. I don't think it's vanity, just a refusal to accept the inevitable- he comes from a family who all suffer hearing problems. I have no solution, I wish I had!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in people's homes, when one partner is hard of hearing.

Yes, same in our house. Feel like Fred Elliott off Coronation st! I get so frustrated repeating myself continuously. He even admits that he now automatically says 'what?'even though he did hear me. So annoying!

I have a hearing loss and have had NHS aids for about 5 years. They are ok though not good where there is loud background noise as they amplify that sound (eg traffic noise or the engine noise on a bus - not a problem I've had for the last 3 months (what's a bus?)

I recognise others' frustrations. My DH often speaks to my back from the opposite end of the room. Frustrating for both of us but I don't think he'll change now despite reminders (aka nagging). Also annoying is when he points at something he wants me to look at and speaks in that direction - he can't seem to coordinate the act of facing in one direction (towards me) and pointing in the other.

I wear headphones when watching TV - they take the sound directly from the TV so the volume can be as low as my DH likes it (he has very acute hearing).

I first realised my hearing was poor when on holiday in the US. A waitress reeled off the menu and said "elephant tuna". Well, I thought, US food portions are large.... But apparently she said "yellowfin" tuna.

I often wonder if my DH is going deaf, but mostly it’s a concentration thing. If he’s got his eyes glued to his computer screen or the telly, I stand no chance of being heard, but if I start a conversation/ask a question or whatever by saying his name quite sharply his attention comes back to me and he will engage and hear me perfectly. If, however, I speak to the dog (she always hears me) he will usually hear that no matter what he is doing!

I have privately bought hearing aids. Best thing I ever did. They can't be seen. What is his reason for not getting them?

My late husband suffered from hearing loss but was, I think, too vain to get hearing aids. There were several years lived to the litany of “What did you say?” Or “Say again”, and eventually one day I said to him “There is nothing on this earth that will make you appear to be a deaf old buffer MORE than constantly asking me or others to repeat what we’ve just said.” He did in the end get aids and never looked back.

It's very difficult. My DH mainly lip-reads . He had nhs hearing aids about 5 years ago. He used them for 2 days. We have asked for him to be referred to audiology but how long is that going to be?. Social events are a nightmare.
I rarely speak to him now, just listen when he talks to me.

Pretend to be deaf and give him a taste of his own medicine. He is being obtuse and uncooperative so deserves no sympathy.

Simple. Sit him down and tell him you will no longer shout or repeat yourself. Unless he is very self contained, he will find himself feeling very isolated,and looking forward to rejoining the human race. He probably doesn't realise how different digital aids are in that they won't amplify all the ambient noise.

It's more than aggravating. The volume on the TV is on 93! Total refusal to have a hearing test. I now find it easier to write post it notes!
It's tiring to constantly shout! He no longer sits on the sofa, but removes the cushions & positions himself
on the floor about a foot from the TV. It's compounded by the fact that he has had only ONE eye test in the last 34 years!
He doesn't use the specs
so I drive for my own safety.

I don't see this as being 'disabled'. There's a simple solution. I see it as a sort of weird vanity ?

I've worn two aids for years. Nothing really to add to the above thread except for are all you hearing aid wearers aware that you can buy a disabled person's rail card?

You can travel on any trains - apart from Hi speed - at anytime to anywhere in the country. You get 30% discount and can also take another person with you who also gets 30% discount. I'm amazed at how many people are not aware of this.

My OH has been very deaf for many years, English isn't his first language which doesn't help. He's had expensive private aids which were adjusted several times, he didn't like them or use them. Then super NHS ones, he won't wear them either, except when family visits. I admit I rarely bother to have a conversation with him a lot of the time as he doesn't hear me even if I'm right next to him, facing him. He 'guesses' what I say & is frequently wrong....so frustrating!

It must be so annoying, my husband wears two earrings aids sometimes it hurts his ears and he leaves off for a day, even wearing these earring aids the tv is on full blast . And I have to raise my voice so he can hear me. He says I speak too softly. Not much fun in my house We do have rows about this, sorry I can’t give you advice. Sorry for a moan ?