Hubbies deafness is driving me to distraction

My OH did eventually agree to have, and wear, hearing aids (NHS). They weren't perfect, but still a massive improvement.

Unfortunately, his hearing has continued to deteriorate but he won't go back to see if they can be altered or changed, despite the problems he's having.

I cringe every time I hear him on the phone.
Nine times out of ten, he can't tell what the speaker is saying, though I can be in a different part of the house and hear them clearly enough - I end up shouting the answers to the caller myself, which I have sometimes thought must make it seem as if there is a very controlling woman in the background who won't let him think for himself!
(Oh will still insist that he couldn't hear them because they were mumbling, even if he was in the kitchen and I could hear them from the bedroom upstairs!!!)

DH's hearing seemed to me to be getting worse and, as he had been very keen for me to have my hearing tested, I got him to go to the GP. The GP sent me to Specsavers, he sent DH to an ENT guy at the hospital - that's all right, I know my place! DH came home and told me his hearing was fine, no need for hearing aids. After he died I found the report from the ENT doctor. It said there was some hearing loss but DH said he was happy with it!!!

[grin} --++

My DH wears hearing aids but still has problems hearing. It makes for some very strange conversations, bless him.
Last night we were talking to someone we hadn't seen for a while. DH asked him if he knew anyone who had had the virus. He replied 'I know 6 people who have died with it'. DH said 'Oh dear. Did they recover?'. The chap replied 'They passed away'. DH said 'Are they OK now?' At which point I had to intervene!

Muddynails... are you sure you're not me?
My hubbys the exact same

My OH was the same - hearing aids in a drawer and had to repeat everything several times over, put up with blaring tv etc. Then he went on a NHS clinical trial of smart hearing aids run by a big London teaching hospital. The audiologist told him that 60% of NHS hearing aids were unused as they either didn’t fit properly or distorted the sound or the users didn’t give them time to get used to them or adjust them. When he had these fitted for the first time he cried- he could hear birds singing for the first time in years, he travelled home on the train and could hear announcements, other passengers talking, we turned the subtitles off the tv and turned it down! I can honestly say having them has transformed his life. They operate through a smart phone, can cut out background noise and if they break he would definitely pay to replace them. He can listen to music through them - no headphones needed - and take phone calls through them. The technology is out there - make sure he gets digital hearing aids and the mould is correctly fitted. It will change both your lives for the better.

So frustrating. My mum is 90 and has vascular dementia. We went to an nhs audiologist who advised that mum had over 50% hearing loss and prescribed aids for both ears. When they were fitted he patiently adjusted them for mums comfort and she said she was delighted with them. As soon as we got home, she took them out and has since refused to wear them as they ‘hurt’ - something she didn’t mention at the fitting. I now have to repeat everything three times and put up with her frustration at not being able to hear me. I have to face her while speaking so she can lip read and communication from another room is impossible, so a good deal of unnecessary running around is involved. As a wheelchair user I don’t subscribe to some views expressed that it’s a disability and allowances should be made. If hearing aids are prescribed and they help (and mum CAN hear much better with them) then the deaf person should make an effort to wear them, instead of expecting to be accommodated at any cost. I don’t discard my wheelchair and expect people to carry me. Same thing in my view.

Back to OP though, it is very common for people to be given expensive hearing aids that they put in a draw and don't use after a while- rather than persevere and get them adjusted properly. Massive waste.

Puzzler61- when we told friends who are both GPs- they said it was actually quite common in the 'elderly' (which none of us are here, hey ;) )

I have NHS hearing aids and they do make a difference when listening to someone face to face. But in normal conversation with husband when he often speaks while walking away from me, going into another room, they're no help.
Often he says "I told you that yesterday!" and I say " No you didn't!" and it's usually beacause I hadn't heard him.
Perhaps many people think that the aids will restore our hearing to what it was years ago, but that's impossible.
Just thought of a funny video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOgsNX33byk&pbjreload=101

How about writing things down?

What your aunt does is quite absurd biba - I can’t believe it. (although I’m not doubting what you say) !!

I have heard several people say they don't wear their hearing aids- but it does not matter because they didn't have to pay for them. I so wish people would not so often take the NHS for granted and waste it. One of my aunts gets her free repeat prescription regularly and has done for years- and never takes the medicines- she has cupboards full of them

I have had noise related hearing loss, for many years.
My doctor referred me to local Audiology centre. Within 30 minutes, I was outside with new aids listening to the rain thundering on my umbrella. After three years they called me back and gave me digital instead of analogue. the batteries don't last as long, but work well.
DW still has not learned to speak with her head in a cupboard, or when downstairs (She used to teach children with hearing problems!)
Your DH HAS to wear his aids, otherwise he has wasted everyone's time. If he does not get on with them, he has to go back to Audiology for his aids, and himself to be checked. It is no shame to wear aids. he wears glasses? does he refuse to wear them?
What is it pride or stupidity, or something else
If something else; get bit rectified PDQ?

Jennyluck

Just a question, can you get a hearing test from nhs without being referred from your gp??

I have the same problem with my husband, every thing I say I have to repeat, and make sure I pronounce my words properly. It drives me mad, like someone else said, in the end I don’t tell him some things, as it’s too hard to get him to understand.

As I’ve said before on gn, he does have dementia as well. And being hard of hearing is a factor in dementia.

Think you have to have something from your GP - that's what I had to do. But that's not an easy you're because if you have was in your ears you can't get a hearing test at Specsavers day, and where I live it's almost impossible to get your ears syringed on the nhs. With lockdown by the time I can have a hearing test the form from the GP will be out of date!

My old uncle (sadly passed away recently) was terribly deaf, would not have a hearing aid. He said it wasn't him but everyone else who didn't speak properly and spoke too quickly! I used to communicate via text, at least he could do that.

Hearing loss is so frustrating for people, both those who have the loss and those who are trying to communicate. My DM has a hearing aid and it is the best thing she has ever done, she also has sight loss and was in an isolated bubble until the hearing aid was fitted. She persevered with it and wouldn't be without it now. My DH has some hearing loss, doesn't want a hearing aid! He has tinnitus and drives me potty with his humming which he does to drown out the tinnitus!

MissAdventure, thankyou. I looked your link about learning macaton and find you need a webcam which I don't have.

Torbroud, I prefer ear moulds to ear canal tubes. Maybe you could consider asking to try ear moulds. They are not as invisible as tubes, and that is why some people prefer the tubes.

Luckygirl , I got my latest NHS aids from Specsavers. The sound is distorted despite I returned twice for the audiologist to adjust them. I cannot keep going back to the Specsavers shop as someone has to take me there. So I have been wearing my original aids I got from the hospital audiology department before the NHS gave the work out to a private firm.

You really need to wear the hearing aids all day , they help your brain to filter out some of the background noise and you need to get used to get used to homing in to what you want to hear.
I am lucky that I sometimes forget I have them in
It was explained to me that they are not perfect , I find them a huge improvement , but still prefer for face to face conversations even with them in

What is awful about NHS hearing aids? My brother got some private ones and they are exactly the same as my NHS ones - what a waste of money!

If your NHS aids are "awful" then you need to go back to the clinic so that they can be adapted for your needs.

NHS hearing aids are awful .i dont wear mine. i cant afford nice ones from a private optician. i would make an appointment for your husband anyway.......or if not make sure he is facing you when you speak and speak clearly .dont put hands in front of your face. i do a lot of lip reading ......i cant hear people when they turn away or if they leave a room..and NHS ones pick up a lot of background noise...

I think in general men are vainer about hearing aids than women. My husband (nearly 62) has had one for a while but refuses to wear it. He says that people will be able to see he has a disability. I have pointed out he wears glasses and, as he has lost some of his teeth, asked him what he would do if he lost any more. He immediately replied that he would replace them. I then asked him why hearing aids were any different. Virtually everything we say has to be repeated. It does have some surreal moments though. One time he was talking about the TV programme we had seen the previous evening about a famous (in the music teaching world) piano teacher called Fanny Waterman. "What was her name again, Annie Waterman?" "No, Fanny Waterman." "Emma Waterman?" "No, Fanny Waterman." "Emily Waterman?" "No, Fanny Waterman. F-A-N-N-Y. FANNY." "Musicgirl, there's no need to shout and what would the neighbours think if they heard you shouting out Fanny?"

Hearing aids can hurt, mine do sometimes, especially if they have tubes that are not pliable, also I find in hot weather the ear moulds seem to expand, giving myself really sore ears