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Neighbour problem

(126 Posts)
Jane10 Sun 12-Jul-20 09:30:10

We live in a block of flats. Most are owner occupied but there are a few long term tenants. We all get on well and there has been lots of friendly interaction especially over the lockdown. However, an invitation has been circulated inviting people to a summer party to which people are asked to contribute financially. This is an annual event organised, we and others had thought, by the residents committee but it turns out that it isn't-the organiser gives the impression that it is. The problem for us is that only owners of flats have been invited. The tenants are excluded from this event which is held in the communal areas and the garden. To access their homes they will have to walk through the party. We have asked that the tenants be invited but have been given a flat no by the organiser. It seems so unfair and so divisive. When we asked why they can't come we were given various unconvincing excuses and we can only conclude that this person objects to tenants on principle as they are perfectly nice, friendly people.
Are we wrong to try to rock the boat on this subject? As it stands we won't be going to this party. Any suggestions as to courses of action?

welbeck Sun 12-Jul-20 17:21:47

it's not a private party if they are asking for financial contributions; you don't normally ask people round to your gaff and charge them an entry fee.
sounds like a cop out for the cttee to say it is not on their behalf. they obviously go along with it, instigate it probably, while having this fiction agreed between them that it is one person's idea/project.
maybe there have been objections in the past, so they cooked up this excuse.
what about the tenants' right to use the garden.
what if they and you took out chairs, drinks etc at the same time and simply asserted their right and yours to the use of the garden. out-manoeuver them.
and what accountability is there for the money collected.
sounds like a nice little earner for someone.
bargain basement crisps/drinks etc charged at fortnam's prices. what a lot of snobs.
at xmas get a giant nodding santa with lurid lights and dangle it out of your window.

sodapop Sun 12-Jul-20 17:32:46

Seems like a form of snobbery I think you are right not to attend Jane10 I would certainly be making my feelings known to the other owners. I think a tactful approach to all this though so as not to upset the tenants. Not a pleasant situation.

grin Welbeck I like your Santa idea.

Jane10 Sun 12-Jul-20 18:09:26

Oh yes. The Santa idea is brilliant! Thanks all for your support. Of course its just a storm in a teacup in the general situation but it's our teacup and its an unhappy one right now.

biba70 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:45:49

Such a shame, I agree this would make us feel very uncomfortable too.

CocoPops Sun 12-Jul-20 20:30:24

There are 39 apartments in my building including 5 that are rented out. Anyone wanting a residents party puts a notice on the notice board. "Pot Luck, date, start and finish times. Everyone welcome". No organisation or financial contribution necessary because everyone takes a dish or two to share.
I'd be tempted to do that next summer!!

Teacheranne Sun 12-Jul-20 21:24:55

I appreciate that the party is planned to take place in August but assumptions are being made that the lockdown restrictions will be lifted even more. At the moment only six people can meet outdoors and two household indoors and social distancing still needs to take place.

Seems a bit premature to organise a big event at the moment.

Jane10 Mon 13-Jul-20 09:58:13

CocoPops I wish our block was more like yours. We are putting together an email to the committee to express (again) our concerns and to refute various points raised in response to our last email on the subject. Sigh. It won't help but at least we've marked their cards.

Juicylucy Mon 13-Jul-20 10:03:25

Firstly I’d let the others know that tenants are not invited, drop a note through there door explaining what you’ve explained to us . Once they know you might find out they feel the same as you, then there will be more of you to boycott it. If not, I think I’d arrange a small gathering for the tenants keeping social distance of course.

Nannore Mon 13-Jul-20 10:03:40

Agree! We have tenants in our apartment. I’d be very unhappy if they were not included. They add to the community and pay their way just like everyone else.

mumstheword86 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:04:20

Organise a party for the rest of you on the same day then you will all be mixing Have a good time regardless of owner or tenant Enjoy your evening hope it doesn’t rain and spoil the event

SparklyGrandma Mon 13-Jul-20 10:04:41

The organiser could be leaving themselves open to a charge of discrimination, if the tenants are largely disabled, vulnerable or elderly.

Will the leaseholder of the block be happy if conflict is almost encouraged amongst the residents, by tenure?

BlackSheep46 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:06:39

How very sad and upsetting for you. Could it just be some sort of misunderstanding ? Don't they have to have permission to have a party like this in communal grounds - decisions based on a majority vote ? Ask that chairperson about that aspect. Being a Chair does not mean that you can sit on the wall - you have to cast a deciding vote one way or the other. Check the lease and see if such use of communal grounds is OK. If so, I'd drop a note through the letterbox of EVERYONE who lives in the flats saying - very briefly - that tenants have not been invited and that you are all very hurt. And point out that you all contribute to the maintenance and upkeep of the grounds and that they are COMMUNAL - then stick a line of deck chairs out before the party starts (get the other tenants to join in the line !!) . No one can stop you from being out there after all !!! It won't solve the hurt issue but it would certainly make a point and make you feel whole lot better. After that, leave them to their own pursuits and lead your own lives.

Craftycat Mon 13-Jul-20 10:11:25

How mean.
We live in a very sociable cul de sac & have regular street parties & impromptu 'bring a bottle to turning circle at end' get together.
The notes go through every door & the tenants are lovely people.
Every year (except this one!) we have a big street party where we close the road & have barbqs & music & party all afternoon & into the evening. The tenants get to meet everyone & feel part of our community.
I think your organiser is just a snob.
People rent for many reasons - one of ours came to this area as he is a hospital doctor & was sent to work at our local hospital during covid crisis. His wife is a nurse. How could you possibly object to them. They are charming.
Have
your own inclusive party.

polnan Mon 13-Jul-20 10:12:07

yes, reverse snobbery, I have often encountered that.

and yes, in this day and age of "black lives matter" ALL lives matter.. time we had moved on..

I do hope you can come back and let us know what happens, I am a curious person, o.k. inquisitive person, o.k. interested in people person! LOL

unbelievable that this still goes on at times like this and this day and age.

donna1964 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:13:02

This situation is a cause for trouble and discord. Whilst you all have got on so well...it won't be the same after this. This is a form of discrimination and must be stopped before the 'get together' takes place. Whoever has decided on this disrespects the tenants and their situation...which is horrible and hurtful and in many instances the tenants could take it further and take it to Court.

Lolly69 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:16:22

Simply - boycott the event

Pippet Mon 13-Jul-20 10:17:14

Mean spirited. I do wonder if they have thought this through. Hold your heads high. Their loss my friend. Have a good day and keep safe.

jenni123 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:17:29

Some people are just snobs. i live in a very nice sheltered flat owned by a HA, we have 29 flats plus a manager here weekdays, the HA spent half million last year on a refurb. Just across the road, literally so close y ou can just get an ambulance or rubbish truck between the 2 buildings, is another sheltered building owned by the same HA. these flats are leasehold. some of the people living there do not speak to us, in fact one man who is not there now actually told others 'do not speak to them, they are council trash'.

SJS1 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:19:26

Surely this is discrimination?

Jane10 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:28:25

It's a private block. There's no leasehold issue. In our latest email to the committee we're going to ask that it be made plain to all that it's a private party and not an official one. It's such a shame. We all look forward to our annual party. I suspect that irrespective of what we say most people will still attend.
The reason given for not including tenants is because it could be 'uncomfortable' for the owners of these flats to have their tenants present. That's actually only one person (I've been sleuthing). Why that one person's perspective is so much more important than anyone else's is a mystery to me! So childish.

eazybee Mon 13-Jul-20 10:32:15

I presume a company owns the block in which all residents live. Is this not- so- subtle form of discrimination, creating first and second class residents on the grounds of their financial status, possibly the onset of a campaign to 'persuade' long-term tenants to move out so that their flats may be sold for higher profit. The flat' no' from the organiser makes me suspicious; your husband has a duty as a committee member, to represent all residents, and should continue to pursue this matter forcefully. Your block sounds like the condominiums in America where prospective residents are interviewed by the committee before they are allowed to move in.

ElaineRI55 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:38:23

I think you may have to speak to the "organiser" directly. Possibly you and your husband and maybe one or two other owners ( but not a posse). Say that you realise there must have been some confusion as most people thought the party was being organised by the committee but you have been told that is not the case. If the invitation wording suggested that it was "official", explain they would be better not to word it that way in future as this is clearly a private party organised by this person.
You should tactfully say that, while they are entitled to invite whomever they wish to a private party, you would not be able to attend as the impression is that it is an officially organised party and you believe it will be divisive for the tenants to think they are excluded and not welcome. I would say that overall many people have banded together to support each other during this pandemic and you think this invitation to an owners-only party will undo some of that good work. You may have some specifics of how nice people are and maybe even of a time when the organiser needed support from others. It certainly doesn't seem to make much sense - I could understand excluding troublemakers ( maybe - and just as likely to be owners), but is this just snobbery? If so, on what basis? Many people of various backgrounds and income levels rent for all sorts of reasons, so even the "snobbery" logic is a bit weird! I hope it doesn't go ahead in its proposed format and lead to serious disharmony. Good luck!

Kleberty2 Mon 13-Jul-20 10:38:57

It sounds like snobbery is at work here and the organisers are the snobs. If it was me who had been invited I’d not go to this party and I’d make a song and dance about not going to it too. angry

Riggie Mon 13-Jul-20 10:42:06

I used to be a tenant in a block of flats. There were 18 flats arranged on 3 staircases so they felt like blocks of 6. The tenants were not included in anything.
I wasnt bothered I was there for work only so went home to my own house most weekends.

Rosina Mon 13-Jul-20 10:42:37

I wouldn't want to go to a party with a bunch of divisive snobs! You have many alternatives here - refuse and tell them why, talk to the other owners to gauge how they feel, or organise have a tenant's and owner's party without the divisive snob element.