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Partner wants to go to festival in Sept

(23 Posts)
Mambypamby Wed 15-Jul-20 22:51:14

Hi Netters your views please on my dilemma-not-dilemma:
My live-in partner of two years has decided that he wants to go to a small festival of around 4000 that he has been going to for years. Last year he took me and at the end of the 3 days we bought tickets for this year. Fast forward 2020. We both have elderly parents who have been shielding and I will start a new job in September working with vulnerable children. I want to postpone until next year but my partner is keeping silent about the whole thing and I have a feeling he will want to go. Apart from feeling so strongly about the risks I am also having misgivings about our future. How could he be so thoughtless? If he attends and thus places me at risk I will not be able to get past his selfishness and it will be the end for us. Or am I over reacting?

merlotgran Wed 15-Jul-20 23:06:15

If you've already bought your tickets I'd hang fire, watch and wait. A lot can happen between now and September. Personally, I would postpone.

If this situation is more about your relationship with your partner than whether or not you want to attend a festival it's a whole different ball game.

Only you can decide on the best course of action for you and your shielding loved ones.

Mambypamby Wed 15-Jul-20 23:11:42

Thanks merlotgran I am probably jumping the gun and I think I am more upset by my partner's lack of communication about it. Trying not to force him into a response but my gut feeling is that he will carry on regardless of what my feelings are.

CanadianGran Wed 15-Jul-20 23:19:30

I'm surprised the festival is still planned; most large gatherings here are cancelled.

As for how this stands in your relationship; does he habitually make decisions without you? You don't say what type of festival, it is very important to him to attend? If it is worth the health risk to him, perhaps he can self isolate afterwards and leave you and your parents safe.

V3ra Wed 15-Jul-20 23:24:50

It may not go ahead anyway.
We've got tickets to two concerts, one in September and one in November, we were told last week that both have been postponed to next year.
Has the festival got a website or Facebook page you could check yourself for updates?

GagaJo Wed 15-Jul-20 23:31:57

MambyPamby, I wouldn't make it into an 'If you go, we're finished' ultimatum. I'd just make clear that IF he chooses to go (completely his choice) that he will need to isolate somewhere other than your home for 14 days on his return AND have a negative C19 test.

My partner of many years was out and about throughout lockdown. Easy for me to be strict, we don't live together. BUT I don't see him, unless it's through a window and won't until I deem it safe to do so. He thinks I'm nuts. I think he's daft for risking his life. BUT it's his life to do with as he wishes.

Mambypamby Wed 15-Jul-20 23:32:09

Hi canadiangran and Vera
The festival is a music festival - Americana - and he is very into his music. Aside from that he had a 30 year marriage and 5 kids but generally pleased himself. If I try to broach the subject on any disagreement he says he doesn't do arguing and has even threatened to walk away from the relationship. I am quite impulsive and don't mind a bit of contrast in a relationship. The festival organisers have posted all over social media that it's going ahead which in the current climate I think is irresponsible. It is up to us as adults to make informed choices but I fear my partner is very immature and one track minded when it comes to live music, his first love.

Mambypamby Wed 15-Jul-20 23:39:30

Hi GagaJo
Thanks for this- I am so impulsive that it helps to have a level headed approach. I will try to stay calm and put this forward to him

welbeck Thu 16-Jul-20 00:27:01

he just sounds utterly self-centred.
what about the elders who he will put at risk if he goes, or else you both won't be able to see any of them for a while.
i would listen to those cold pricklies you are getting.
good luck.
are you in usa.

Mambypamby Thu 16-Jul-20 06:50:33

Hi welbeck I am in the UK. I hope as V has suggested it doesn't go ahead. If it does I won't be putting myself and our oldies at risk so he will have to make the choice.

vegansrock Thu 16-Jul-20 06:57:39

I know outdoor concerts are allowed but I didn’t know large gatherings like festivals were. How would they distance the audience? Maybe it won’t go ahead, most festivals have been cancelled.

JennyNotFromTheBlock Thu 16-Jul-20 06:58:47

Just wait till late August and then you'll be able to say if it's safe for you or not. I honestly don't think there will be another outbreak in September. I guess, there will be one, but later.

Purplepixie Thu 16-Jul-20 13:57:59

Our little music festival which should have been over the August bank holiday has been cancelled and I couldn’t fancy going anyway. I think you should wait until mid August and see how you feel then. Also I think everything will just have to wait until next year. Have a chat with your partner and ask them for their honest opinion.

B9exchange Thu 16-Jul-20 15:03:05

Have a look at the website, they are not taking bookings, there is no event this year, so you are worrying unnecessarily. But do talk to him about your worries. He will be disappointed to miss it, perhaps you could arrange to do something together that weekend instead?

Mambypamby Fri 17-Jul-20 09:42:28

The thing is they're advertising the festival as if it is going ahead. They are selling tickets and the Facebook group is getting extremely excited about it all. I feel it is irresponsible on their part but then again it just goes to show how some people can't think for themselves and are blinded by their desires rather than caution. That's just my opinion of course. Also there will be a reduced line up as the American acts won't be coming. I understand the organisers needing to recoup some lost income but at what real cost to lives?

Elegran Fri 17-Jul-20 10:14:13

If it is this one he is out of luck.

"The Long Road Festival 2020 will no longer take place due to the ongoing coronavirus outbreak. Tickets will remain valid for next year's edition, set to take place on 10th - 12th September 2021." so your immediate worries can stop.

If you are stil bothered by his attitude in general that is a different problem.

humptydumpty Fri 17-Jul-20 10:20:34

I don't know if this is the festival, but if so it has been cancelled:

MawB Fri 17-Jul-20 10:35:01

Which festival is this mambypamby ?
So much has been cancelled I should be very surprised if it goes ahead.

MawB Fri 17-Jul-20 10:36:33

Oops, just seen Elegran’s post!

So it is cancelled, end of problem smile

MawB Fri 17-Jul-20 10:37:26

Sorry, meant humptydumpty

Elegran Fri 17-Jul-20 11:24:57

It seems there are/were several Americana Festivals in different places at different times, with the same general name and content. I think all of them are cancelled for the time being.

Mambypamby Fri 17-Jul-20 15:40:58

Should I name the festival or is it breaching forum guidelines? It's Red Rooster in Sussex. Apparently going ahead.

V3ra Fri 17-Jul-20 18:22:42

There's information about the current situation on the FAQ section of the website.
Still don't think I'd fancy going.