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AIBU

Social distancing...again.. !

(60 Posts)
Gingergirl Fri 07-Aug-20 18:35:57

AIBU to think that distancing amongst families seems a thing of the past?! Are there people on here, who like me, haven’t yet so much as hugged their toddler and baby GC, let alone any of their adult children? We have declined overnight stays because with such young children, we just can’t all stay apart from a practical point of view. And even with a day trip, we are still staying apart. And yet, living in a holiday area, I’m seeing extended families staying together, sitting and eating as if one household etc...and I feel I’m going mad! We have a particularly emotional family event to attend in a few weeks and still, I doubt we will feel it’s ok to kiss and hug. What are others’ experiences please? It’s so depressing!

earnshaw Sat 08-Aug-20 13:41:48

my family and I have refrained from close contact with family and friends but, human nature being what it is, there will always be folks who ignore and just do as they want , i live in southport and although greater manchester is in lock down, the crowds getting off the manchester train goes against what we are supposed to do,its a bit like fighting a losing battle

Tweedle24 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:39:47

* Gingergirl* I am on my own so I am allowed to bubble with another household — my daughter and her partner.

Hev61 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:36:33

Haven't hugged or kissed Gd or Dds at all.have had visits in garden.Dd1 now back at work so now looking after Gd 1 day a week.she's 4 1/2 and she tells us we can't hug or kiss till the 'bug' has gone.breaks my heart

chattykathy Sat 08-Aug-20 13:23:57

Ginger girl, the government have issued guidance, not rules. If for instance your GC haven't been to school /childcare for sometime and your DD doesn't mix socially I can't see what difference ir makes whether you have a DH or not. My DH and I are joined at the hip so for all intents and purposes we are one. This is what we considered when we 'bubbled' with our DD, SIL and GC. Not strictly within the guidance but common sense. We don't mix with anyone else and neither do they. It's been brilliant for us and them, given my DD to have a break from home schooling /entertaining her 3 DC while her DH works from home. I hope you find a happy solution.

NannyG123 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:58:27

Next weekend we will be seeing my 4yr old grandson for the first time in 6 months . They are staying one night. I will try my best to to keep a distance . As I have with the rest of my gc. Hopefully we won't forget.

Gingergirl Sat 08-Aug-20 12:57:34

I’ve never heard of this ‘deciding to bubble’ Tweedle24. I know that someone who is on their own can, form that with one other household but otherwise.....? Anyway, re the GC distancing question in my post, thanks for your comments and yes I am in England so am aware that Scotland is different. It’s comforting to know that others are going through the same as me. It’s just that it never seems to be talked about or acknowledged in the few press conferences we have now and it makes me feel like life is supposed to be fairly normal whereas for me, it’s still far from that!

Tweedle24 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:45:51

Two weeks ago, my daughter and her partner came to stay for a few nights. We had decided to ‘bubble’ so they made sure they had isolated themselves for two weeks before they came. I had not seen them since February. First thing I did, when I saw the car come down the drive, was dissolve into tears and rush out to hug her — this from somebody who is normally very controlled.

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:39:23

D&K, thank you. Great help. I believe taxis are operating. Taxi it will be.

Jaxjacky Sat 08-Aug-20 12:38:28

Saw DD and DS over lockdown from end of drive (4m) had DD and GC x 2 for bbq last week, all in garden, SD, individual crockery/cutlery straight in dishwasher afterwards. No hugging or touching. It’s weird, I don’t like it, but better than 4m was.

MeemawtoD Sat 08-Aug-20 12:25:42

If you live in Scotland (with the exception of Aberdeen at present) there are no restrictions to hugging grandchildren under 11 years old.

Mistyfluff8 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:00:25

We have seen all our grandchildren at different times We have cuddled them .Low risk area we live in .Its mostly the young adults not social distancing so they cause the r rate to go up

SillyNanny321 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:51:08

Have had visits from friends but keep well apart. DS & family are hard to distance from with my GC. Have hugs but face away & do kiss GC on top of their heads trying not to breath in at the same time. Probably wrong but have not read anything yet ‘set in stone’! Apart from that just being careful with everyone else like tradesmen, window cleaner, gardener & neighbours.

Hetty58 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:37:41

I feel so sorry for my elderly neighbours.

They have regular visitors, parties and BBQs with friends, children and grandchildren.

There is absolutely no social distancing involved.

I can't help thinking that nobody really loves them - or values their lives and safety.

Kalu Sat 08-Aug-20 11:35:59

Kim I haven’t read any advice from Holyrood re. having non close family members in your car so I would take it that doing so is against the guidelines here in Scotland. I would love to be able to take a friend out in my car but feel it just isn’t worth the risk.

Speldnan Sat 08-Aug-20 11:32:49

I’ve has close contact with my GC since the severe lockdown eased but then my DD and family have not been anywhere risky or meeting up with others until recently that is. Also I’m I a bubble with them so it’s allowed

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:28:53

I think it is very difficult at the moment. Even Gov.UK has gone from quite specific to a long list of suggestions that can take a while to make sense of.! The general gist of it seems to be that we should still be social distancing apart from others in our household or bubble. Everyone can use public transport but it is suggested use alternative means. Shouldnt be sharing food/cutlery etc. Continue to wash hands/ clean surfaces. Not sure about car sharing, I'm sure it's now allowed but with restraints and caution! I think it is very much down to individual circumstances/risk what you are prepared to do. Everyone ideally etc should be maintaining the rules for common good. It is incredibly complex though.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:26:22

I’ve seen our grandchildren n Ac from a safe distance in our garden, not hugged any of them , just blown kisses, and I won’t be either,

Dustyhen2010 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:22:23

Kim 19 - In Scotland I think if you wanted to follow the rules driving a friend in your car would not be permitted. We are still advised to be very cautious. Also not sure where you are heading but you can't go to Aberdeen just now due to lockdown measures. However like others see (particularly in sunny weather on the beach) people forget to socially distance. We are still told daily that it is 2m unless unavoidable and then you must wear a facecovering.

kwest Sat 08-Aug-20 11:17:08

We will be sharing a holiday cottage with DD, SIL and 13 year old twins. They will have their own bathroom and loo and two bedrooms. We will have en-suite bedroom with it's own sitting area. We have not seen them since January. There is a big outside table and chairs and a large dining table indoors. We are just across the road from the beach. We are trying to be aware of all the rules. It will be very odd not to hug them. The cottage is spacious. We just pray it won't be cancelled if regulations change.We have followed all the rules so far.

Saggi Sat 08-Aug-20 11:14:05

Since February I haven’t seen my vulnerable ( severe asthma) daughter to hug or kiss. Her and my two grandchildren have come into my back garden once for an hour ( SD all the time) my 8 year old granddaughter wanted to hug me , but I had to stop her. It bought tears to my eyes. My son started coming into the house 4 weeks ago for a Sunday lunch...he’s coming again tomorrow. No hugging or kissing. I worry more for him than her as he lives alone and works alone at the moment...so thought he should be the first one to reach out to. My daughter anyway has to be more cautious! I despair at the way some people are carrying on , at the expense of all of us!

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:12:47

Regarding the 'rules'. Can anyone tell me if it is acceptable/legal to give a friend a lift in my car if driving in Scotland, please? Have been advised 'sit her in back diagonally to you, both wear masks and keep all windows open a little'. Have a feeling this is opinion rather than rule. Any clarity would be truly appreciated. I would practise sanitising, of course.

Catmanic Sat 08-Aug-20 11:06:51

I like you have yet to hug kiss or touch my 6 grandchildren all aged under 7. I know many of my friends who no longer socially distance and live life as we used to pre pandemic. It’s hard but I feel we are following the rules even if I think that they are causing huge emotional issues with us all. I wish more than anything to hug them all.
I’m not sure how we will manage to pick up grandchildren from school as without my help my children will find working difficult.

leeds22 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:01:03

Not much sign of social distancing in the holiday homes around us. Some accommodate up to 20, so they must be from different households. Oh and they don't social distance from the locals either, grrr.

NoddingGanGan Sat 08-Aug-20 10:57:47

Haven't physically seen either of my older two AC or my DGD since January. Not likely to do so in the foreseeable either. Particularly hard as DD1 suffering severe MH priblems and DS going through long term relationship break up but can't be helped.
DD2 lives with me and has seen no friends since March. She is only 25 so very difficult for her but I am classed as extremely vulnerable so she deals with it. (I don't demand it and we socially distance within the house, she uses downstairs shower room and me the bathroom upstairs.)
It's very wearing but I'd like to be around for the next 20 or so years if possible.

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 10:44:01

I had a salutary lesson yesterday. Been practising all the recommended safety rules since March. My bell rang and a very dear friend accompanied by gorgeous new puppy was on the path. I immediately and spontaneously did a joyous 'come away in' and, when he hesitated, all the rules and regs rushed back into focus and we kept our safe space in the garden. What amazed me about myself was how quickly I reverted to type even though I have been practising safety fastidiously for so long now. Thought it was now my (albeit uncomfortable) 'norm'. Old habits die hard right enough. Have to keep quelling the 'other' me obviously. I was truly surprised nonetheless.