Gransnet forums


Social distancing...again.. !

(59 Posts)
Gingergirl Fri 07-Aug-20 18:35:57

AIBU to think that distancing amongst families seems a thing of the past?! Are there people on here, who like me, haven’t yet so much as hugged their toddler and baby GC, let alone any of their adult children? We have declined overnight stays because with such young children, we just can’t all stay apart from a practical point of view. And even with a day trip, we are still staying apart. And yet, living in a holiday area, I’m seeing extended families staying together, sitting and eating as if one household etc...and I feel I’m going mad! We have a particularly emotional family event to attend in a few weeks and still, I doubt we will feel it’s ok to kiss and hug. What are others’ experiences please? It’s so depressing!

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 07-Aug-20 18:47:44

Our DD has been exceedingly careful, an extended family member has had Chemo, so we felt very happy when she turned up last week with the GCs, we haven’t been anywhere (apart from click and collect shopping ) however, a friend of hers came from London, slept in the garden in a tent and used the spare loo (we cleaned it especially ) And sat away from us in the garden.

So we are being careful but seeing family members as we know they are careful too.
We have several people who want to visit, but we know that they are out and about and mixing with other couples, so we have Zoom chats instead.
By the way our GCs are teenagers so we are able to manage them far easier than small children.

Luckygirl Fri 07-Aug-20 20:26:40

I was very bold today and kissed a DGS on the back of his head - from behind and outdoors!

NotTooOld Fri 07-Aug-20 22:04:55

Yes, still being very careful. Only seeing people in the garden and socially distanced, not been to the shops since March, not seen GC since January. Sometimes feel like a wimp as others are out and about, visiting family etc. confused
Have been told 'you must get out and about and live your life' but I'm hoping to be around for a few years yet, not dead of Covid in six months time.

harrigran Fri 07-Aug-20 22:52:44

I have seen my GC twice in the last six months, absolutely no touching.
I have not seen my DD and SIL since new year's day.
Today a neighbour came to talk to us in the garden but kept the two metre distance thankfully as he is working as a volunteer ambulance driver.

merlotgran Fri 07-Aug-20 23:12:30

We have had three visits from family members in the last month. Absolutely no touching and separate tables for meals in the garden. We are lucky to have outside facilities for loo visits, hand washing etc., so nobody has to come into the house.

The only time we come close to forgetting the social distancing rules is when we wander round the garden.

ElaineI Fri 07-Aug-20 23:26:08

We have been able to see our grands for a few weeks now with no problems. 6yo can see his friend and play inside. They go back to school next week and we are the child care. DGD starts nursery week after and wonder of wonders DGS2 childminder back to normal next week. he and DD2 went home today after nearly 5 months of being 1 household and I cried as it has been so special seeing him growing from baby to toddler and the little knock on the door each morning with Granny come down the stairs has been heart warming. Daft really as we look after him 3 days a week anyway but special. Sorry you are all having such a difficult time though. We are in Scotland.

maddyone Fri 07-Aug-20 23:49:15

We look after two of our grandchildren, six year old twins, three days a week. Their parents are key workers and key worker childcare is no longer offered. Our daughter was extremely protective of us during the worst of the crisis, but we live in a very low rate of infection area, and my grandchildren cannot look after themselves. We take them to country parks, forest areas and the seafront, which is not crowded like some places in Cornwall. It is impossible to care for such young children without physical contact. I will not leave them to cry when they fall over without giving appropriate care and concern.

Nannapat1 Sat 08-Aug-20 10:43:23

We have looked after our 6 yr old granddaughter at least 2-3 times per week since May and taken her to and from school during June/July. No social distancing possible. Her mum DD2, has visited our house and stayed over as have DD1 plus partner (last 2 had Covid-19 end of March) We stay outside where possible and can socially distance pretty well indoors too. Have to do our own risk assessment and go from there. No other options really.

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 10:44:01

I had a salutary lesson yesterday. Been practising all the recommended safety rules since March. My bell rang and a very dear friend accompanied by gorgeous new puppy was on the path. I immediately and spontaneously did a joyous 'come away in' and, when he hesitated, all the rules and regs rushed back into focus and we kept our safe space in the garden. What amazed me about myself was how quickly I reverted to type even though I have been practising safety fastidiously for so long now. Thought it was now my (albeit uncomfortable) 'norm'. Old habits die hard right enough. Have to keep quelling the 'other' me obviously. I was truly surprised nonetheless.

NoddingGanGan Sat 08-Aug-20 10:57:47

Haven't physically seen either of my older two AC or my DGD since January. Not likely to do so in the foreseeable either. Particularly hard as DD1 suffering severe MH priblems and DS going through long term relationship break up but can't be helped.
DD2 lives with me and has seen no friends since March. She is only 25 so very difficult for her but I am classed as extremely vulnerable so she deals with it. (I don't demand it and we socially distance within the house, she uses downstairs shower room and me the bathroom upstairs.)
It's very wearing but I'd like to be around for the next 20 or so years if possible.

leeds22 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:01:03

Not much sign of social distancing in the holiday homes around us. Some accommodate up to 20, so they must be from different households. Oh and they don't social distance from the locals either, grrr.

Catmanic Sat 08-Aug-20 11:06:51

I like you have yet to hug kiss or touch my 6 grandchildren all aged under 7. I know many of my friends who no longer socially distance and live life as we used to pre pandemic. It’s hard but I feel we are following the rules even if I think that they are causing huge emotional issues with us all. I wish more than anything to hug them all.
I’m not sure how we will manage to pick up grandchildren from school as without my help my children will find working difficult.

Kim19 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:12:47

Regarding the 'rules'. Can anyone tell me if it is acceptable/legal to give a friend a lift in my car if driving in Scotland, please? Have been advised 'sit her in back diagonally to you, both wear masks and keep all windows open a little'. Have a feeling this is opinion rather than rule. Any clarity would be truly appreciated. I would practise sanitising, of course.

Saggi Sat 08-Aug-20 11:14:05

Since February I haven’t seen my vulnerable ( severe asthma) daughter to hug or kiss. Her and my two grandchildren have come into my back garden once for an hour ( SD all the time) my 8 year old granddaughter wanted to hug me , but I had to stop her. It bought tears to my eyes. My son started coming into the house 4 weeks ago for a Sunday lunch...he’s coming again tomorrow. No hugging or kissing. I worry more for him than her as he lives alone and works alone at the thought he should be the first one to reach out to. My daughter anyway has to be more cautious! I despair at the way some people are carrying on , at the expense of all of us!

kwest Sat 08-Aug-20 11:17:08

We will be sharing a holiday cottage with DD, SIL and 13 year old twins. They will have their own bathroom and loo and two bedrooms. We will have en-suite bedroom with it's own sitting area. We have not seen them since January. There is a big outside table and chairs and a large dining table indoors. We are just across the road from the beach. We are trying to be aware of all the rules. It will be very odd not to hug them. The cottage is spacious. We just pray it won't be cancelled if regulations change.We have followed all the rules so far.

Dustyhen2010 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:22:23

Kim 19 - In Scotland I think if you wanted to follow the rules driving a friend in your car would not be permitted. We are still advised to be very cautious. Also not sure where you are heading but you can't go to Aberdeen just now due to lockdown measures. However like others see (particularly in sunny weather on the beach) people forget to socially distance. We are still told daily that it is 2m unless unavoidable and then you must wear a facecovering.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:26:22

I’ve seen our grandchildren n Ac from a safe distance in our garden, not hugged any of them , just blown kisses, and I won’t be either,

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:28:53

I think it is very difficult at the moment. Even Gov.UK has gone from quite specific to a long list of suggestions that can take a while to make sense of.! The general gist of it seems to be that we should still be social distancing apart from others in our household or bubble. Everyone can use public transport but it is suggested use alternative means. Shouldnt be sharing food/cutlery etc. Continue to wash hands/ clean surfaces. Not sure about car sharing, I'm sure it's now allowed but with restraints and caution! I think it is very much down to individual circumstances/risk what you are prepared to do. Everyone ideally etc should be maintaining the rules for common good. It is incredibly complex though.

Speldnan Sat 08-Aug-20 11:32:49

I’ve has close contact with my GC since the severe lockdown eased but then my DD and family have not been anywhere risky or meeting up with others until recently that is. Also I’m I a bubble with them so it’s allowed

Kalu Sat 08-Aug-20 11:35:59

Kim I haven’t read any advice from Holyrood re. having non close family members in your car so I would take it that doing so is against the guidelines here in Scotland. I would love to be able to take a friend out in my car but feel it just isn’t worth the risk.

Hetty58 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:37:41

I feel so sorry for my elderly neighbours.

They have regular visitors, parties and BBQs with friends, children and grandchildren.

There is absolutely no social distancing involved.

I can't help thinking that nobody really loves them - or values their lives and safety.

SillyNanny321 Sat 08-Aug-20 11:51:08

Have had visits from friends but keep well apart. DS & family are hard to distance from with my GC. Have hugs but face away & do kiss GC on top of their heads trying not to breath in at the same time. Probably wrong but have not read anything yet ‘set in stone’! Apart from that just being careful with everyone else like tradesmen, window cleaner, gardener & neighbours.

Mistyfluff8 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:00:25

We have seen all our grandchildren at different times We have cuddled them .Low risk area we live in .Its mostly the young adults not social distancing so they cause the r rate to go up

MeemawtoD Sat 08-Aug-20 12:25:42

If you live in Scotland (with the exception of Aberdeen at present) there are no restrictions to hugging grandchildren under 11 years old.