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AIBU

Men who 'Can't cook.

(95 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Sun 09-Aug-20 17:32:12

This really irritates me. Dil and son called today on the way to bring my ex his Sunday dinner. She told me she opened his fridge and it was empty!What is so difficult with so many cookery programmes that he cant simply make a basic meal or at least heat up a ready meal?

Juicylucy Mon 10-Aug-20 16:07:44

My ex was great cook and loved presenting his food.
I’ve got 2 SILs, 1 is great cook and usually does our Christmas dinner, the other can’t and won’t learn if my dd is away he’ll live of sandwiches.

Callistemon Mon 10-Aug-20 15:39:35

If you can read, you can cook.
Absolutely, Tickledpink

You may need basic maths too!

Callistemon Mon 10-Aug-20 15:37:42

Surely if mums don't teach their sons to cook, their wives should
My DDIL would laugh at that!!
The kitchen is DS's domain. And I didn't really teach him, he taught himself. Just as I did.

timetogo2016 Mon 10-Aug-20 15:27:22

My X husband refused to cook anything,he was and still is a lazy git.
My newish Dh cooks very well but he doesn`t realy enjoy it.
I love it.

Tickledpink Mon 10-Aug-20 14:53:54

If you can read, you can cook. Nothing to do with skill like dressmaking or wood work. It should be compulsory in schools to show kids how easy it is. People say I’m a good cook, or that I like cooking. Truth is I like home cooked food, it’s worth the effort.

Galaxy Mon 10-Aug-20 14:04:01

It's not wives jobs to teach grown adults to cook. If that was asked

fiorentina51 Mon 10-Aug-20 14:03:19

My dad (born in 1916) was taught to cook by his mother. Granny was the eldest of a very large family so was generally lumbered with child care and cooking from an early age. She was determined that all her 4 boys could cook, clean, wash and iron before they left home.
The problem came later when my father married an Italian woman who was horrified that a man should invade her kitchen, let alone attempt to cook anything!
My husband is an excellent cook and so is my son. Better still, they appear to enjoy it. One of my grandsons is carrying on the tradition and is never happier than when he's helping dad in the kitchen.

Carolpaint Mon 10-Aug-20 13:47:51

Full of their own entitlement? Why are they being disabled by too too willing hands. If they choose not to cook there are many hot food delivery services now. When I visit female friends who boast they do not cook, their food choices to any shared celebration are: stodge stodge and more stodge, unable to walk now without Zimmer frames, that speaks for itself.

Cambia Mon 10-Aug-20 13:11:39

Both my sons can cook well. My husband has started to cook now he is retired and quite enjoys it. Home cooking when I do it and Masterchef when he does it!!
It is really nice not having to cook every night.
My father couldn’t even work out how to turn the cooker on and he wasn’t a stupid man. When my mum was in hospital, we had to label all the rings etc. He was absolutely lost.

Surely if mums don’t teach their sons to cook, wives should!

Theoddbird Mon 10-Aug-20 13:00:02

I think it is often a case of don't like cooking rather than can't. Anyone can make beans in toast. That, with some grated cheese and some ready made salad mix from supermarket is really a nutritional meal that anyone can prepare.

sodapop Mon 10-Aug-20 12:35:38

Not a necessary life skill now though is it Granny70 there are ready meals, takeaways, meals delivered to your door etc.

leeds22 Mon 10-Aug-20 12:25:52

I suspect it's won't cook, not can't cook. If he can read then he can read a recipe. Two out of our 3 sons cook, the third is in awe of his wife's superior skills, ahem.

Gwenisgreat1 Mon 10-Aug-20 12:23:20

My DH is of the can't cook won't cook brigade. Simple. In my next life (if I have one) I would love a man who can cook. I don't find it easy 'cause I am self taught, but don't mind baking!

Flakesdayout Mon 10-Aug-20 12:15:49

I have two sons. One is a good cook and will try his hand at anything. The other, when he lived at home managed pizza, toast and microwave meals. Since he has married he has become head chef. He does all the cooking, his wife does the cleaning as she cannot cook. She even managed to undercook oven ready sausage rolls. At least I don't have to worry about them going hungry.

Kim19 Mon 10-Aug-20 12:12:54

If he was hungry and not being waited on I do believe he might have a go at cooking - or opening a tin. In the sixth year before I left school (1957) we had a concentrated week of the 'domestic scene'. Cooking was the mainstay but it was blissfully basic e.g. boil, scramble, fry eggs; make a pot of tea; bake scones; prepare and cook vegetables. This either killed us or cured us but I remember it being very enlightening and helpful even although my Gran had already tutored me on soups and stews at home. The washing, ironing, knitting and sewing were the absolute pits for me but I am eternally grateful nonetheless.

Jillybird Mon 10-Aug-20 12:11:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bijou Mon 10-Aug-20 12:00:15

I don’t think my father even made a cup of tea. But in those days husbands didn’t cook..
When my children were small I was laid up with back trouble and they never forgot my husbands attempt. Burnt sausages, lumpy mash and no gravy.. That was his only attempt ever.
My son is a good cook. When he was seven he made cakes for his school Christmas party.

glammanana Mon 10-Aug-20 11:50:15

My husband could cook very well and bake fabulous cakes he always made the GCs Birthday Cakes when they where small.
I always cooked nice and easy meals during the week but always a traditional roast on Sunday,I have continued doing this since my lovely man died and always take a Roast Dinner through to my old neighbour next door he wouldn't bother to make one for himself and it makes me cook for myself,any veg left will be used for veg soup on Tuesday and shared between us so no waste.

Thecatshatontgemat Mon 10-Aug-20 11:45:43

Why would he bother stocking up the fridge, as he is having others bringing him food...... ?

Grandma70s Mon 10-Aug-20 11:40:48

My father, born 1907, couldn’t cook, but then he had never had to. In his day women automatically did the cooking - but when my mother became too disabled to do it, he learnt very quickly. Not gourmet stuff, but just basic meals for them both. He was in his late 80s at the time.

Both my sons can cook, and so could my late husband. It’s a necessary life skill, and it isn’t at all difficult.

Aepgirl Mon 10-Aug-20 11:31:35

His lack of food, his problem. Sadly people take pity on these people and they end up getting fed by many different neighbours.

f77ms Mon 10-Aug-20 11:14:52

My sons can all cook and do, one can sew. Their wives /partners would not let them get away with not sharing the cooking and housework, childcare etc. My x could cook until we married then i let him get away with not, my fault entirely. ?

Paperbackwriter Mon 10-Aug-20 11:14:16

If your DiL is taking food round, she is enabling her father not to cook. I hope that if she has sons, she won't be giving them the same message that women are there to wait on men like servants!

But also, I agree with others. He's your ex - I wouldn't give his fridge contents a second thought.

Witzend Mon 10-Aug-20 11:13:51

Funnily enough, men who ‘can’t’ cook often seem well able to call themselves experts when it comes to barbecuing.

In a gathering it’s always interesting to observe the primeval male bonding ritual, where they all gather round the fire, beer can or bottle in hand...

grandtanteJE65 Mon 10-Aug-20 11:07:46

I have always felt that basic cookery and other household skills should be taught at schools to both boys and girls. After all, they will all one day move away from Mummy.

Schools are supposed to prepare children to lead competent adult lives, so ought to teach these things.

Teaching children to change plugs, mend bike tyres , adjust a ball cock and unblock a sink or toilet would be a good idea as well.