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Men who 'Can't cook.

(94 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Sun 09-Aug-20 17:32:12

This really irritates me. Dil and son called today on the way to bring my ex his Sunday dinner. She told me she opened his fridge and it was empty!What is so difficult with so many cookery programmes that he cant simply make a basic meal or at least heat up a ready meal?

Judy54 Sun 09-Aug-20 17:39:42

Many people both Men and Women can't or don't want to learn to cook. It is a shame kircubbin2000 because I have always found it therapeutic. Each to their own, perhaps he has other skills such as DIY that he puts to good use. We can't all excel at everything and whilst the majority of people enjoy eating not all of them want to be cooks.

FarNorth Sun 09-Aug-20 17:49:46

I am a woman who 'can't cook' but I wouldn't expect anyone else to sort out food for me.
I eat basic stuff and I'm happy with that.

With some men, I think it is 'learned helplessness'.

Riverwalk Sun 09-Aug-20 18:11:52

I love food and cooking but don't expect everyone else, male or female, to feel the same, but you need to be able to cook some basic meals I would have thought.

There have been posters on here who've said that their husband of many decades have never cooked a meal! shock

I can't believe there are ANY women who have never cooked a meal.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 09-Aug-20 18:18:27

He obviously didn’t want to make a dinner. Or hadn’t been shopping or whatever, could be lots of reasons why his fridge was empty, I certainly wouldn’t worry about what my ex has in his fridge

Witzend Sun 09-Aug-20 18:22:56

It’s usually a case of CBA, rather than can’t, IMO.

If someone of normal intelligence can read, they can follow a simple recipe.

My dh doesn’t cook, hardly ever has, largely because when he was working it was always very long hours, much longer than mine.
I would never say he ‘can’t’ though - he could if he wanted to or had to.
We now have a division of labour where I cook (dinner only, he gets his own breakfast and lunch) but he clears up the kitchen.
Suits me fine, since I’m a messy cook.

PinkCakes Sun 09-Aug-20 18:25:54

I think younger men seem to cook (my sons are in their 30s and cook) but perhaps some men of a certain generation were used to their Mum doing the cooking, then later their wife?

There are some women who can't cook, and I find that even more surprising. My Sister-in-law is 59, proudly says she's never cooked anything in an oven - her bloke used to do it all - but since she's been on her own (he left her), 20 years(!), she's lived on microwaveable meals, salads, things on toast. Her son takes her meals on occasion.

Oopsminty Sun 09-Aug-20 18:28:57

My first husband was a chef and adored cooking

Husband number 2 ended up doing most of the cooking because I worked nights

He loves it.

I can certainly cook

But if he wants to do it I don't need much persuading

Lucca Sun 09-Aug-20 18:31:16

My mother did all the cooking but my father could certainly have made a meal for himself, pretty much anybody can, ridiculous to think otherwise.

gulligranny Sun 09-Aug-20 18:35:24

I enjoy cooking and I'm happy to do it, DH does a lovely omelette and can make pasties (which are not quite as nice as he thinks they are, but I love him so stay silent). His son, my darling stepson, is a dab hand at most things; he loves his gadgets and has built a woodfired pizza oven in his garden, and also has a fabulous barbecue. He marinates, coats, sears, slices and dices to his heart's content, and the results are always brilliant. He does a piece of beef marinated in tequila with chillies and other spices which is the scrummiest thing ever.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 09-Aug-20 18:41:05

I think some are being crafty, and yes I certainly believe that people of a certain generation would expect their wives to do it, and they would be doing something else. But are there that many that would starve rather than get themselves something,

Kalu Sun 09-Aug-20 18:44:31

Anyone can learn to cook if they want to. Some don’t want to cook, fair enough but saying I can’t cook, no one was born knowing how to cook and we all had to learn.

When first married DH and I hadn’t a clue how to cook but lots of experimenting with the help of many cook books we managed to present a meal which didn’t end up in the bin?
Both DD’s and partners are also good cooks.

My BiL, who never even make a cup of tea, once divorced and having to look after himself surprised everyone, especially his ex wife, when we realised he was a very good cook!

sodapop Sun 09-Aug-20 19:08:43

Can't cook won't cook fits me to a T. Even more than cooking at home I hate cooking in someone else's kitchen especially if they are there.

Gingster Sun 09-Aug-20 20:02:06

DH has never cooked and has no wish to. If he lived on his own, he would survive on sandwiches , cakes and biscuits. I dont think he would even bother to get a takeaway. My two DS’s are both excellent cooks.

boat Sun 09-Aug-20 20:05:08

Come on. Can you make a tenon joint? It's a learnable skill, just like cooking.

kittylester Sun 09-Aug-20 20:15:55

My dad was a natural cook and my mum very pedestrian. I love cooking and have also done all the cooking as I didnt go out to work.

I wish dh would cook as I worry how he would cope on his own. He would be a good cook if he ever did it.

NanKate Sun 09-Aug-20 20:40:11

I wish you would come and cook us a few meals Kitty.

I’ve never had any interest in cooking but do so because DH always works so hard at other things, but anytime I am off colour he steps up to the plate ?No pun intended ?

cornergran Sun 09-Aug-20 20:42:31

Mr C doesn’t cook. He can, or could, just doesn’t. He does however do the clearing up and all sorts of other tasks I prefer not to do. If wasn’t around he wouldn’t starve, he probably wouldn’t cook what I do now but would cook. He loves traditional food, lots of veggies and what I call school dinners. Now if the thread was about the washing machine I’d be less certain of capability. grin

Hellogirl1 Sun 09-Aug-20 20:57:17

My late husband didn`t/wouldn`t cook. He was of the firm opinion that men went out to work, and their wives cooked, cleaned, looked after children, etc. I went into hospital in the early 1970`s for about a week, the kids lived on chips, alternating with peas and beans, that was the last time he cooked anything.

GrannyLaine Sun 09-Aug-20 21:01:45

Come on. Can you make a tenon joint? It's a learnable skill, just like cooking.

I was about to make the same point boat Would we call that learned helplessness?
Choosing not to cook is not a universally female trait.

grumppa Sun 09-Aug-20 21:15:48

I can make a tenon joint; and I can boil, steam, grill, fry, roast and follow instructions on a Waitrose ready meal. Does that make me a cook? I am low on washing machine skills, owing to lack of practice.

Since working from home and then retiring, my “skills” mean we can share the load. My contribution tonight was le rosbif jardinière: roast beef served in the garden.

grumppa Sun 09-Aug-20 21:16:24

I have never baked a cake.

Callistemon Sun 09-Aug-20 21:24:52

Are you available for hire grumppa?

Actually, DH is not bad, he has a few 'signature dishes' and DS is a better cook than me.

grumppa Sun 09-Aug-20 21:39:37

I should add that DDs’ partners are both very good cooks. As for being for hire, now FOD is past.....

DanniRae Sun 09-Aug-20 21:41:43

If I wasn't around Mr R would cook all right but it would all come out of a frying pan!