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AIBU

AIBU to feel hurt and annoyed?

(20 Posts)
25Avalon Thu 13-Aug-20 12:02:39

I was in the study when my husband (I will leave out theD) rang my daughter on a business matter. They then started talking about the GC. My GD has developed some nervous problems including not liking certain sounds. This is something her auntie suffered from as a child so I tried to interject and let dd know. Husband got very annoyed, said he couldn’t hear what dd was saying and I shouldn’t interrupt his call, told dd he was ringing off because of ‘her mother’ and did so. I feel upset, hurt and tbh angry. I need input from other GNetters please.

Marydoll Thu 13-Aug-20 12:08:05

Why don't you just phone your daughter independently, when your husband is not there?
I suspect there is more to this than just your husband snapping at you.

Callistemon Thu 13-Aug-20 12:09:02

Is my husband a bigamist?

Calendargirl Thu 13-Aug-20 12:09:59

Ring your daughter yourself and chat about GD?

If your husband has difficulty hearing on the phone maybe, it is annoying to have someone else butting in, but there are ways and means of dealing with it.

Are there issues with who gets to chat with DD?

Callistemon Thu 13-Aug-20 12:10:57

Although not the same problem, I should add.

If I have something important to say in a similar situation then I now put my hand up, like being back at school.
"Please Sir"

Jane10 Thu 13-Aug-20 12:12:38

Nobody likes being interrupted while on the phone. If he was concentrating on the discussion then you could easily have been an annoying distraction.

Lucca Thu 13-Aug-20 12:26:21

I’d say if that is the worst row you have then you’re very lucky!
Go for a walk and forget about it !

Illte Thu 13-Aug-20 12:26:45

I wonder if you actually do it quite a lot. Not just on the phone. It's a habit some people develop and his response sounds like something he is fed up about not just a one off.

Are you willing to just check out how often you have the urge to butt in on something he is saying, even just in conversations between the two of you?

25Avalon Thu 13-Aug-20 12:27:14

I do phone dd independently. They had finished business chat and I joined in on personal chat - he had his phone on loud speaker after all. Obviously he didn’t want me on personal chat. It makes me feel excluded.
There are other underlying problems such as his germ phobia and his manipulative behaviour which I usually ignore or ‘obey if it suits me. He does nothing to help around the house, bills wouldn’t be paid if I didn’t do it, and he can’t even make me a cup of tea these days. 5 years ago I was going to leave and then he had open heart surgery and I’ve been stuck here ever since. It’s not all bad and sometimes life is quite good, we think on the same lines about lots of things, but when he dismisses me as he did today I find that really upsetting.

FindingNemo15 Thu 13-Aug-20 12:32:47

I had a job once where my boss would start shouting at me when I was on the phone. I used to say to the person on the other end: Just a minute please Mr. X is shouting at me, so he heard. It did not stop him, but I hope he felt stupid in front of others in the office!

Lucca Thu 13-Aug-20 12:33:17

Ah so a lot more issues, that’s bad luck for you

Furret Thu 13-Aug-20 12:49:22

Cheeky man! I take yourself off for a long walk, then come home and settle down with a good book and a huge bar of chocolate. Forget cooking dinner eat your treat and let him stew.

lemongrove Thu 13-Aug-20 14:02:07

Heeeeheee.....we both do this at times😊granted....it is very annoying trying to have two conversations at once.The best thing in future is to mime holding the phone, then he can pass it to you after he finishes his chat for you to talk.Don’t take it to heart.

ExD Thu 13-Aug-20 14:17:58

I must confess I eavesdrop on my DH on the phone but I've learned to never butt in, and to make sure he doesn't see I'm listening either.
At the same time I have to say I HATE him listening to my phone calls, thats one reason I don't like this GP phone-back system they have at the moment. I can't say what I really feel if my OH is wagging his ears in the background.
Don't take it to heart, just ring your daughter and explain about your sister, she will know what her Dad is like so don't let it worry you.
Lol - deep breaths! smile X

TrendyNannie6 Thu 13-Aug-20 14:18:44

I have been known to do this, if my Dh is speaking to one of our children, it could be a don’t forget to tell so n so ... or tell her or him mum sends her love, my Dh just carries on and then goes to whoever is on the end, think mum wants to talk to you,

Xander Thu 13-Aug-20 14:25:22

I absolutely hate it when someone buts in to a conversation I am having on a phone. It results in my not being able to hear what other person on phone is saying . Do not do it. Very rude. If you have something to say speak afterwards wheb original conversation finished or phone them back.

TrendyNannie6 Thu 13-Aug-20 14:32:39

My husband will do it sometimes too when I’m on the phone, if he remembers something, it certainly doesn’t bother him when I do it, or him me, maybe we are easy going people,

Leaannbo Fri 14-Aug-20 00:22:41

25Avalon

I do phone dd independently. They had finished business chat and I joined in on personal chat - he had his phone on loud speaker after all. Obviously he didn’t want me on personal chat. It makes me feel excluded.
There are other underlying problems such as his germ phobia and his manipulative behaviour which I usually ignore or ‘obey if it suits me. He does nothing to help around the house, bills wouldn’t be paid if I didn’t do it, and he can’t even make me a cup of tea these days. 5 years ago I was going to leave and then he had open heart surgery and I’ve been stuck here ever since. It’s not all bad and sometimes life is quite good, we think on the same lines about lots of things, but when he dismisses me as he did today I find that really upsetting.

It was extremely rude to interrupt their chat. Ypu really should apologize. Your dh has every right to talk to his D without being interrupted. Just like you do. Would you have put up with that behavior from a child?

Leaannbo Fri 14-Aug-20 00:23:55

ExD

I must confess I eavesdrop on my DH on the phone but I've learned to never butt in, and to make sure he doesn't see I'm listening either.
At the same time I have to say I HATE him listening to my phone calls, thats one reason I don't like this GP phone-back system they have at the moment. I can't say what I really feel if my OH is wagging his ears in the background.
Don't take it to heart, just ring your daughter and explain about your sister, she will know what her Dad is like so don't let it worry you.
Lol - deep breaths! smile X

Wow rude much?

25Avalon Fri 14-Aug-20 10:04:07

Thanks Leannbo I now feel totally justified. My dh often interrupts me when I am talking to my dds if he thinks he has something important on his mind to impart. It doesn’t particularly bother me so what’s sauce for the goose Is sauce for the gander. Why have your phone on loudspeaker with someone else in the room if you don’t want them to join in when it’s family? We often have family joining in calls. This was an exception and he has been nice to me ever since. He has been very bad tempered lately because the internet has been down and stopped him working.