Another family get together ruined

Thank you Toadinthehole.

Aww no, you’re right....and I really feel for you in your situation, but even though I don’t know you, you always seem to have such a positive attitude. I just pray it all works out for you very soon?

Whether it's "putting up with anything to get what you want out of it" or putting up with anything for fear of having what you love taken away Todinthehole neither are a recipe for a happy life are they.

Exactly Smileless, the classic case of putting up with anything to get what you want out of it. I wish everything could be diagnosed so easily on an Internet forum, it would save so much time...and money!?

But we're an online forum, trying to be friendly and helpful (or not in some cases) and dortie doesn't know us in RL so how can we be real friends?
Fine, but it seems exceptionally false to tell someone that everything they are doing is fine when you feel the opposite.

You’ll note I said her drinking didn’t sound like an issue until her previous threads were brought up

Knowing a posters history helps give proper advice. I don’t see issues with that.

She wasn't looking after the baby.
Not unless her multi-tasking extends to breastfeeding too.

Well said Callistemon, Luckylegs and MissA.

"a flurry of posts condemning the lady and particularly hard on her if she'd dared to be looking after the baby". That was the the point of my previous post. dortie's assumed problems with alcohol don't appear to bother her D when it suits her to have her mother entertaining her eldest GC for the day, and then clearing up after the family before going to work.

Ah yes.
There are plenty like that lately, so point taken.
You can feel it oozing out of the screen, but it can be about anything, it seems, lately.

If you just read back a bit, MissAdventure you’ll see a flurry of posts condemning the lady and particularly hard on her if she’d dared to be looking after the baby. It’s every time alcohol is mentioned, honestly, you can feel the condemnation in some posts!

I don't look up people's previous posts but if someone does it, I see nothing wrong.
It gives further information about the poster, which they have chosen to share in public on this forum.

I don't think anyone jumps at someone mentioning having a drink.
Lots of people here enjoy a tipple. (Or three)

Well, thank goodness for that! Thank you, Callistemom for someone else who agrees it’s cruel and vindictive to search out previous posts from a poor woman in order to show evidence of alcohol abuse!

It sounds as if the OP had had a dreadful day, had a glass of wine with her lonely and delayed meal then a G and T to relax. Well, according to some of you, judge, jury and hangman, she ought to be strung up!

What is it about the alcohol police on here that immediately jump on anyone who mentions having a drink? I hardly drink myself but after how that day sounded like, I don’t blame the OP at all. She can do what she likes, surely without incurring the wrath of strangers. I wouldn’t even express my feelings on it to a friend, she would just deserve sympathy.

Real friends call you out on your issues.

But we're an online forum, trying to be friendly and helpful (or not in some cases) and dortie doesn't know us in RL so how can we be real friends?

Telling someone who, on this thread, has said she had a G&T and one glass of wine that she is an alcoholic is not helpful.
As it trawling through threads looking for " evidence", that just beggars belief.

dortie I hope you've calmed down now and I hope you can learn to remove yourself from stressful situations. Apart from your DGC, these are all adults and should be able to manage for themselves without you waiting on them after being at work.

Luckylegs

Oh I find this unbearable! All you holier than thous standing in judgement on this poor lady. How dreadful to search out and reproduce her other posts to hold against her. I thought this was supposed to be mostly a lovely friendly site like talking with friends. It’s dreadful.

Real friends call you out on your issues. They don’t indulge self pity when it’s in your hands to change the result

dortie145, if this has 'happened so many times before' it seems that you're stuck in repetitive patterns of behaviours and responses.

Why set yourself up for more? Having been to work, being tired and needing relaxation, you could have taken yourself off to a private, peaceful area for a nice little nap instead!

DorrisJohnson why have you unloaded a photograph of a man's nostrils on so many threads? Don't understand?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Smileless Indeed.

I'd have made myself a cocoa and gone to bed after a day like that, let alone waiting on a young woman.
Dortie says she has been to her DD and SIL's house before now, tidied and cleaned for them.
Why?

I think Dortie sounds as if she is in that unenviable position of being stretched like a piece of elastic between an elderly, grumpy mother, a demanding daughter, working and trying to be a loving grandma.

No wonder she gets stressed.

Nice response to di1964 Chewbacca.

It would appear Toadinthehole that if dorie does have a problem with alcohol it's not an issue for her D providing she's booking a beach hut for them all to enjoy; doing the bulk of care of her GD for the day and clearing up after them all before going to work for a couple of hours, but heaven forbid she has a G&T, followed by a glass of wine with her meal and then horror of horrors, doesn't jump to it, when "demanded" by her D. to get her a glass of water.

So it’s decided then. Dortie is an alcoholic! I’m not sure I would have let my child have so much interaction with an alcoholic grandparent...not just that day, but any day, but there you go, we’re all different. Dortie, only you know if you have this kind of problem. I do hope you can resolve your differences.

Is it because I smell then?

Aww.. thanks. I know I'm a bit unsociable.

That's maybe why I've no friends.

Wrong!

If I was her friend though, I would be pointing out that her drinking has been the cause of problems before.

That's maybe why I've no friends.

Oh I find this unbearable! All you holier than thous standing in judgement on this poor lady. How dreadful to search out and reproduce her other posts to hold against her. I thought this was supposed to be mostly a lovely friendly site like talking with friends. It’s dreadful.

Urmstongran
It is information very relevant to this thread that is available in a public setting.

Choosing to hide your head in the sand doesnt work