2nd best Granny

I thought the"obligated" remark by your daughter sounded very rude and unnecessary (in my opinion )

I can't see my dgc ATM as DH is shielding. I send a postcard which they love to get through post or an odd packet of Pokémon cards. I chat to them on facetime and they like to see my dogs and cats. Just find a way to keep in touch with them.

My first GC is due next month and at present my DS and DiL are living with DiL's parents quite a distance from me. They are moving to Germany in October as DS has a new job there. When they told me about the job and the baby (found out both the same day) DS said " The great thing is that you'll be retired by then so you'll be able to come over to Germany and help us settle." Of course that was before Covid19 and now I don't know if I'll be able to go to Germany anyway. I put off retiring as didn't want to leave from working at home as I want to leave from something. The other GPs are younger than me so won't be so available but live quite a distance away in the UK. Thankfully we all get on well. I know they will see much more of the baby in the first few weeks but they have invited me to go over to stay when baby arrives. There is no point being jealous. The circumstances are what they are. Once the new little family move to Germany we'll all be at a distance while DS works out his contract after which they will return to the UK but we don't know where they will live. I may be closer then but maybe not. I'm just grateful for the time I get to spend with my adult children - they both live quite a distance away but we see each other when we can. This year has been hard for all of us. Those who live close to children and grandchildren probably feel as if they are missing out more as a result of the restrictions, yet when things return to normal they will see them more again. Those of us who live long distances away will still see them very infrequently.
I remember when my own MiL used to complain about how long it was since she'd seen us and I had to point out that my own mother had seen us far less because there was 3 times the distance involved. Just because things are unequal it doesn't make them unfair!

Agnurse,
Nailed it.

welbeck i was shocked to read what Grannycantsitonthefloor wrote about the other granny

I was too. A horrid post.

Good thinking Susie. Tell yourself you’re the grown-up in the room

For the record have pulled myself together will enjoy sering the kids when I can . The other granny lives miles away and see them every week Thursday at theirs Sunday lunch at hers or she has a fit .I try to be laid back but I flipped after mt daughters comment .Thanks everyone xx

agnurse What was your response to them?
Because I say so

One thing for everyone to consider:

When your children were young, how many times did they say to you, "So-and-so gets to have/go/eat/wear/do whatever! Why can't I?" What was your response to them? Do you see any parallels?

I cannot understand a things that shortend to just letters! ?

Susiewakey: I'd be upset, very upset in your shoes. Try to keep positive, situations can change.

Thank you, annep1. We’d just got round to having a couple of indoor meetings when we were shut down again. Strange days indeed.

The poor saps like me who live in the special lockdown zones and aren’t part of a bubble can only meet people from other households when they’re outside, in public spaces, keeping their social distance.
Poor you indeed, not even able to meet in the garden. I hope it's not for too long.
We are still reluctant to have people indoors. My OHs son visited yesterday. It rained so we had to come indoors and sit at a distance in the kitchen with masks. Verry strange.

I see Maggiemaybe. Well that explains it then. Thanks.

i was shocked to read what
Grannycantsitonthefloor
wrote about the other granny:

Well she swung on the swing, went to jump off and ......yes....... her arse got stuck in between the ropes and she fell flat on her back with one hell of a wallop !!!!
That put her out of action for a bit !!!! ??

The OP doesn’t live alone, annep1, so she couldn’t have been chosen for the bubble. Presumably the other gran lives on her own.

I know very little about bubbles. But perhaps the other granny lives closer? There must be some reason why she was chosen. The bubble thing will have caused problems and hurt for many I think.
If you're daughter put it as bluntly as "no chance" that is quite rude and I would understand you feeling hurt. Maybe she was stressed at the time she said it.

Hopefully when this crisis is past things will be more normal for you. If not, perhaps you could try talking about it with your daughter.

There seems to be a lot of confusion about bubbles. As I understand it, and I may well have missed something, this the situation in England:

Being in a bubble means you are essentially part of the same household, so can sit close to each other, travel in the same car, sleep over in the same house and yes, cuddle the grandchildren who are part of the bubble!

Those who aren’t in a bubble can meet up with people from another household in a garden or even indoors, but are still supposed to maintain social distancing (so no cuddles).

The poor saps like me who live in the special lockdown zones and aren’t part of a bubble can only meet people from other households when they’re outside, in public spaces, keeping their social distance. Fingers crossed we’ll be let out soon.

I realised a along time ago I was not going to compete I do what I have to then leave it I won’t enter a competion watched my sister try to compete with her grand children and I won’t do it. Know I’m second best in the running but can’t do anything about it.

I have grandchildren who I love very much and Ihave helped when needed. However Ican never understand the need to play 'pass the parcel' between different sides of the family! As long as they are being loved and not hurt in anyway just be thankful for what time you do spend with them. They will decide for themselves when they are old enough!

Not a grandparent yet but my goodness after reading these posts I don’t think I want to be!!

I too thought the bubble thing was over, I’m sure it is. No one needs to shield now unless they want too. I think you should ask daughter about the bubble being over. Why can’t you meet them even in their garden. It seems very unfair to me ,the children need both sets of grandparents. I have one set of grandchildren over to stay with me. I don’t go to their house because too many people with children turn up. I’ve been shielding for months so just being careful. My other grandchildren live nearby and see both sets of grandparents. I really don’t see what your daughter’s problem is but I do sympathize with you.

It never occurred to me to wonder if my DM and my DMiL were jealous of each other.
Funny, that.

There shouldn't be any competition. Both grandparents are there to love the GD's in different ways. Be glad they are kind people who give the GD's a happy time. Share. It won't always be equal...but I cannot see that sarcastic comments will help the situation. Gifts are gifts, not ways of buying entitlement.

When my first grandchild [now there's 2] came along the other Nanny would look after him for a day at a time in her own place. She fed him, soothed him, took him out in the buggy, changed nappies etc. I saw him in the evenings and he was in his own environment with his own toys and we just played and had fun. I would take him out to the cinema or bike riding when he was older and played cricket and football with him. The other Nanny didn't want to do that. It worked.

My other son now has 2 children. They see their Nanny and Grampy a lot. They have sleepovers there and they all go on holiday together [often abroad] and have a marvellous time. I can't do that, but am delighted that they have the experiences they do. Also their 3 cousins live next to the grandparents too so another good reason for them to be there a lot. I contribute in other ways, pick them up from school, take them swimming, and do activities at home with them.....reading, writing, painting, drawing etc. They think I am funny!

My DGD came to my house the other week, quickly gave me a crepe paper/pipe cleaner flower and said she'd made it for Nanny '....but you can have it Granma'. I just laughed. Did I think I was second best? No, we are just different. No offence intended or taken. Kids eh?

I agree with Bamm - I thought the bubble thing was over, or at least that we could now meet our children & grandchildren for picnics in the open air? That’s what we’ve been doing with all ours- one family at a time. And one family lives very neat the o ther GPs so sees them more but that’s only natural and I try not to let it get to me. Just glad to see them when we can.