Gransnet forums

AIBU

Mess how much can you tolerate?

(91 Posts)
Sallywally1 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:24:05

I think I am somewhere in the middle, I don’t like mess and clutter, but am sometimes too lazy to clear it up. I also work three days a week. Today I have hoovered, cleaned bathroom and did a bit of light polishing. This afternoon I am off out, enough is enough! I also do all the shopping and most of the cooking. OH is retired and is better than I am at clearing up. (My job makes me feel exhausted even the three days I do now).

My late MIL was a ferocious housekeeper and her house was like a showroom. On the other end of the spectrum I know someone who was evicted because the dirt and mess in the house had got out of control it was horrible.

How do others feel about mess vs pristine?

Lupin Wed 09-Sep-20 14:17:25

I am quite easy going about being untidy and a bit of dust, but like my bathrooms and my kitchen to be clean.
My daughter says I am a messy cook, and I agree with her, but I do clear up after myself.
I only try for pristine when someone is coming to stay. God it's hard work before they arrive.

Happysexagenarian Wed 09-Sep-20 13:50:56

Oh I can tolerate quite a lot of mess, usually of my making. I am sitting here at our 12 foot dining table which is covered end to end in fabrics, threads and sewing paraphernalia, the floor needs vacuuming, there's a mountain of ironing needing doing and I can see dust on the shelves. Am I bothered - No. Most days are like this in our house, until someone says they're coming to visit then I have a blitz on it.

MissAdventure Wed 09-Sep-20 13:24:19

I'm just a lot more tired than I used to be.
I would think nothing of staying up all night to get things done, now I can barely keep my eyes open after 3PM.

Soniah Wed 09-Sep-20 13:21:50

Soniah

Not necessarily lazy, I do a lot in my community etc and if I kept my house pristine I wouldn't be able to, just because I'm not doing masses of housework ( just keeping it in a reasonably clean and tidy state) doesn't mean I'm lazy, I cook from scratch too

Sorry above aimed at overthehill

Soniah Wed 09-Sep-20 13:19:37

Not necessarily lazy, I do a lot in my community etc and if I kept my house pristine I wouldn't be able to, just because I'm not doing masses of housework ( just keeping it in a reasonably clean and tidy state) doesn't mean I'm lazy, I cook from scratch too

MissAdventure Wed 09-Sep-20 13:17:18

I had a kind of rota, before.
It meant that I spent exactly one hour every morning doing housework and 1 extra job such as sorting a cupboard out.

Sheilasue Wed 09-Sep-20 13:13:35

I like to be clean and tidy. At the moment we have just had wood flooring put down in the bedroom and the living room looks like a bombs hit it till we can get it all back together again which won’t be for a couple of hours I am sitting amongst drawers empty cupboards boxes.

Luckygirl Wed 09-Sep-20 13:05:45

A rota!!!! Crikey!!!!!

If I see a bit of dirt I will clean it up when I have time or the inclination; but the idea of regular cleaning is completely alien to me. Why would you spend your life doing this stuff?

My Nan used to say "you have to tolerate a peck of dirt before you die." The other one used to look in my cupboards to see if I had cleaned inside. A casual glance round the outside of the cupboards would have saved her the effort!!!

MissAdventure Wed 09-Sep-20 12:59:33

That's the thing; I seem to spend hours and hours moving piles of stuff from one place to another these days.
I'm sure I did far less when I was fussy.

annep1 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:56:33

I can't relax and enjoy myself if the house is a mess.
When my children were young the beds were made and bedrooms dusted- including skirting boards before we came downstairs!
Definitely not so fussy now. However I still like beds made, toilet cleaned, kitchen done after breakfast. Quick vacuun round. Takes an hour between us.
I like my kitchen and bathroom thoroughly clean. But I rarely dust now every 2-3 weeks and polish even less. Its not needed. Inside windows now and again. Too much housework is a waste of valuable limited energy and time.

MissAdventure Wed 09-Sep-20 12:55:28

I can put up with quite a lot, it seems.
Not that I'm thrilled at it being put to the test.
More like I've lost hope, which in a way is quite freeing.

Hetty58 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:51:02

When I had a baby, my sister decided she'd 'help'. She was horrified to find our dog asleep on a bed - so stripped all the beds and put on the laundry. 'Where's the spare bedding?' she asked. We didn't have enough spare stuff for six beds!

When I got home, I couldn't find anything, all was tidied away. 'Where does this live? Where does that go?' she wanted to know. Nobody knew. She even took up carpets as there was dust underneath (so?).

Saggi Wed 09-Sep-20 12:37:36

House too clean....person is bored or boring! ..... do you realise that when you’re dead someone else will be cleaning those very same rooms you’re cleaning now....we’re all specks oh dust in the cosmos...just passing through.... spend the time you’re given in an uplifting way. Put the dusters away ladies!

Namsnanny Wed 09-Sep-20 12:34:45

Brigidsdaughter

boodymum67 that's very hard to live with. It's a very flippant response to be told 'not to look at...' when it's something that matters to you ♥️⚘⚘⚘

I sympathise.smile

I would just like things to be put back in their place!
Makes tidying up so much easier.
Unfortunately I do very little nowadays, so it's up to H who is a hoarder (rainy day mentality), and finds all kinds of muddles easy to live with!
PS I have to hide my scissors and veg peeler because he looses and/or breaks them and doesnt replaceangry!!

Hetty58 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:23:48

Sallywally1, what's 'light polishing'? - I never do that (didn't know lights needed polishing).

I don't do a lot of housework as I can always find something more interesting to do. I'm soon galvanised into action if a visitor is expected, though. I suddenly feel shame so tidy up, damp dust and hoover.

If I notice dirt and grime, I'll (eventually) make a good job of getting things pristine and sparkling - in an obsessively over-fussy way. Then I'll leave it to get bad again. I can't be bothered to keep everything regularly cleaned. There's no sense of satisfaction if I can't see a noticeable difference.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:06:12

My late mother was a bit untidy but not dirty, we called it her 'open filing system.' Being super tidy would have been hard to attain as she simply didn't have enough storage space.

Late MIL was a bit tidier - her knitting was kept in a box which was hidden behind the sofa. She was lucky enough to have quite a few cupboards.

I guess I'm somewhere in the middle.

Candelle Wed 09-Sep-20 12:01:18

boodymum67 I completely understand your comments.

Although I am not permanently in a wheelchair, when I have been unwell or incapacitated for a time and the dust piles up (husband just don't see what we do - sexist I know but true!) it is very depressing.

I would hate to be as some women were in the 1950's, hoovering around their husband's feet every five minutes, the older I become the more I prefer having a tidy house. Must be age-related.... By the time I am 90 my house will be immaculate.....

Cabbie21 Wed 09-Sep-20 11:50:43

I bit the bullet and dusted the living room and hall today.
So much brown furniture shows the dust, but the black TV stand is even worse. We have five small oak bookcases, a revolving one and a Canterbury, all covered in stuff, also a piano, sideboard and bureau.
I had to pick up over 75 items: including 9 lamps, 3 clocks, countless ornaments and collectibles.collectibles. Also dusted 16 pictures, though not the tops if I couldn’t reach them.

This is why I don’t dust very often.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 09-Sep-20 11:31:58

I am fussy about the state of the kitchen and bathroom, but don't worry so much about the rest of the house.

I have a cleaning routine washing floors once a month, dusting the bedroom weekly when I change the bed, hovering the sitting-room at need.

nipsmum Wed 09-Sep-20 11:30:32

I got good advice from a friend before I got married. Keep your home clean enough to be healthy and tidy enough to be happy. I am not a fan off housework, and have followed this advice for over 50 years, with no ill effects.

Jillybird Wed 09-Sep-20 11:25:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 09-Sep-20 10:52:37

It really depends on the definition of 'tidy'! (according to DH). He leaves piles all over the place. If I put a piece of paper down ( for a few minutes) I'll never find it again 'cause DH has decided that is a good place for another pile. I find it extremely frustrating! He's also a hoarder, but thinks all his bits are pristine!!

Rosina Wed 09-Sep-20 10:51:16

I can tolerate a lot of mess as long as it is tidied away at the end of the day; my pet hate is coming downstairs to find yesterday's chaos waiting for attention - it seems to start the day off in the wrong way.

Brigidsdaughter Wed 09-Sep-20 10:48:43

boodymum67 that's very hard to live with. It's a very flippant response to be told 'not to look at...' when it's something that matters to you ♥️⚘⚘⚘

PipandFinn Wed 09-Sep-20 10:42:48

? I was just saying to my dp that my personality is to be a minimalist BUT I have too many 'things'.... I clean my bathrooms every other day but only because it saves so much more time. I hate deep cleaning...I'm going to tackle my dressing room today (hopefully) and see if I can throw a lot of stuff (rubbish) out....!!!! hmm