Gransnet forums

AIBU

Mess how much can you tolerate?

(83 Posts)
Sallywally1 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:24:05

I think I am somewhere in the middle, I don’t like mess and clutter, but am sometimes too lazy to clear it up. I also work three days a week. Today I have hoovered, cleaned bathroom and did a bit of light polishing. This afternoon I am off out, enough is enough! I also do all the shopping and most of the cooking. OH is retired and is better than I am at clearing up. (My job makes me feel exhausted even the three days I do now).

My late MIL was a ferocious housekeeper and her house was like a showroom. On the other end of the spectrum I know someone who was evicted because the dirt and mess in the house had got out of control it was horrible.

How do others feel about mess vs pristine?

overthehill Tue 08-Sep-20 12:35:46

I'd be overstating it if I said my house is pristine, but I do like clean and tidy. I maintain there is no one who would choose to live in a mess over living in clean tidy surrounding. You will get people who say 'life's too short to do cleaning' but what they are really saying is they are too lazy.

diygran Tue 08-Sep-20 12:46:59

My late mum was a very houseproud woman of the 50s.
In her last years she would say 'the dust will still be here when I'm gone'.
I like to keep the house tidy but prefer to be outside in garden.
I now stick to the motto I found in a charity shop "Housework can't kill you but why take the chance!"

grandMattie Tue 08-Sep-20 12:53:34

I’m not that tidy, but at least I know where my mess is. DH is very tidy, but his idea of tidying up is to collect everything in his way and stuff it into a cupboard or drawer. 😖 grr. But then, he leaves MY screwdrivers or scissors all over the place and wonders why I get annoyed!

GagaJo Tue 08-Sep-20 12:54:03

I clean once a week when it’s just me. In my uk house (daughter and grandson live there) it has to be done daily because she’s untidy.

MerylStreep Tue 08-Sep-20 12:57:21

how much can you tolerate none.

EllanVannin Tue 08-Sep-20 12:57:45

When I'm aware that the place gets me down I do something about it but generally a run round with the hoover and a tidy up does the trick.
Not so willing when it comes to polishing as so many things have to be moved but I couldn't live in a mess it would drive me frantic.
Unwashed dishes, piles of dirty laundry etc, no way could I cope with that.

I tend to flit a bit from job to job including pruning in the garden grin so that I don't get bored doing the same thing.
I couldn't manage in a " showhouse " either---too stifling.

Pantglas2 Tue 08-Sep-20 13:04:00

I’m once a week cleaner but I do tidy all day as I go, everything has a home!

Oldwoman70 Tue 08-Sep-20 13:10:31

I like things to be tidy but if there is a choice between doing the dusting or sitting in the garden in the sun (when we have some) then the garden wins. As Quentin Crisp said - after 4 years it doesn't get any worse grin

Alishka Tue 08-Sep-20 13:41:55

I remember that Q.Crisp quotegrin.

My years of travelling alone and spending 1-2 nights in an hotel before moving on, turned me into a v. tidy person and then later when I had a child with all that lego etc. which needed to be put away before bed, reinforced it. So the adage "a place for everything and everything in its place" was born and still stays with me. I'm disabled now and it helps that I can 'instruct' (for want of a better phrase) where everything goes to my helpers really helps.

boodymum67 Tue 08-Sep-20 14:11:09

I used to be very houseproud...always cleaning and tidying.

But since MS hit 22 years ago, it frustrates the heck out of me when I can see dusty/mucky corners and cobwebs where they shouldn't be.

I tell hubby and carers and they say `don't look at them`...until they have the time to remove them.

If I try to sort them myself, I drop things, knock things over or hurt myself.

Being in a wheelchair sucks!

Grandmabatty Tue 08-Sep-20 14:15:02

I hate mess. Most of the time it's mine as I live alone, however Mondays and Tuesdays my house is a complete shambles because of my 18 months old grandson and I don't care as I can tidy it when he goes home. I'd rather have him creating mess.

varian Tue 08-Sep-20 14:18:41

I think that attitude to mess is one of the factors which determine how compatible housemates or partners might be.

Charleygirl5 Tue 08-Sep-20 14:20:57

My mother was so houseproud we lived in the kitchen. We had a large, airy lounge in my parent's last house but I was never allowed to sit in it and eg read a book.

I like a clean house but I do have a lot of clutter.

LauraNorder Tue 08-Sep-20 14:23:24

Grew up in a household where if you put down a book to go to the loo it was tidied away. That's probably the reason I became a slob until I had children then cleanliness became important but not tidiness. You can't watch children build a town from lego and then ask them to clear it all away before bedtime.
Once they all left I began to enjoy a tidy adult home but not so tidy that no-one can relax. We enjoyed making a mess with grandchildren and then reclaiming the adult home at the end of their stay.
Now after six months of tidy adult home I would love to have them all here safely making as much mess as makes them happy.

craftyone Tue 08-Sep-20 14:24:18

Tidy (ish) I do love it after I have sparkle cleaned my kitchen but it doesn`t last that long. I do try and leave the kitchen nice when I go up to bed, only me so no else makes it messy

paddyanne Tue 08-Sep-20 14:26:24

I 'm not excessively tidy but I dont have things around that need dusted daily.My house has a pile of magazines either on the coffee table or the floor beside the sofa and stuff on the stairs to be taken up when I'm going.I dont let anyone work in the kitchen because I like things put where I can find them .I think thats fair. My mother was excessively houseproud ,my daughter had OCD and was even more obsessive than my mum .

tanith Tue 08-Sep-20 14:54:32

I do like tidy and I don’t like clutter as others have said a place for everything. My house is small and I like it clean and tidy.

trustgone4sure Tue 08-Sep-20 15:03:49

Dh does most of the housework,and he is reasonably good at it.
I tend to keep the house tidy though.
He does however drive me mad as he doesn`t put the tops back on bottles/jars properly and inevitably things end up on the kitchen floor.

FindingNemo15 Tue 08-Sep-20 15:14:26

We have quite a minimalistic home, but I think that creates more work as things seem to quickly become clutter and have to be put away. My cupboards are another story. As they say out of sight out of mind!

H1954 Tue 08-Sep-20 15:21:30

I tend to do what I feel like doing at the time to be honest. However, I am stringent with hygiene, so the bathroom, kitchen surfaces, light switches door handles are always kept clean (even prior to Covid 19). The bed is always made and turned down soon after getting up in the morning, OH cleans the windows inside, I dust, we both hoover (depends on what's happening otherwise), my sewing room is my domain and gets a good clean after a project is completed, OH keeps his workshop tidy, gardening is shared, but why oh why is there only me who can use the iron???? Can't grumble, OH is a little treasure 😁

Lucca Tue 08-Sep-20 15:23:22

How much mess can I tolerate ? Any amount if made by my grandchildren

Grandma70s Tue 08-Sep-20 15:24:00

I much prefer some mess and clutter to pristine. You sometimes see houses where the rooms are so tidy they are more or less empty. Where are the books, papers and magazines? What do these people do all day? More tidying and polishing, I suspect. I had an incredibly houseproud aunt. My brother said he believed she even polished the soap. Needless to say, she was also very boring. I also once had a boyfriend who arranged his pens and pencils in order of height on his desk. He didn’t last long.

On the other hand, houses do need to be more or less clean.

Jaxjacky Tue 08-Sep-20 15:34:31

Kitchen always clean with, other than the odd cup or glass on drainer, everything put away. Bathrooms cleaned regularly, especially toilets. Living room, we both have ‘our corner’ mine with odd shoes, magazines and other ‘papers’ it will get to a point where I tidy it. His...well, it’s his, I can’t see most of it, so up to him.

ginny Tue 08-Sep-20 16:54:10

I like tidy and uncluttered so put things away as I go. Loos and basins must be clean and no bits showing on floors , carpets and work tops.
Otherwise, jobs get done as required.
No problem with toys etc when DGC are here but they are expected to help tidy up a bit before they leave.