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AIBU

Looking after family

(40 Posts)
MawB2 Wed 30-Sept-20 19:18:52

You do need to discuss a family budget while they are with you, for food, extra electricity etc.
Do have any means of support or are they also dependent on you?

Doodledog Wed 30-Sept-20 16:23:09

I agree with the others that there is not enough information to know what to think. How old are the children? Does your son send them any money, or does he expect you to support his family? Are there cultural expectations at play?

You say that your DIL 'is not working yet', which suggests that she is looking for work. Who will look after the children when she finds work, or are they old enough to look after themselves?

Furret Wed 30-Sept-20 15:54:49

Take it up with your son.

Hithere Wed 30-Sept-20 15:37:36

What was the agreement before moving in?

Toadinthehole Wed 30-Sept-20 15:07:37

How was this not discussed before they moved in? Why did they move in? Not sure what you can do now. Does your DIL think she shouldn’t be paying at all, or it’s too much? Why can’t your son send the money? Presumably, he’s no house of his own to pay for. I think we need more info.

tanith Wed 30-Sept-20 10:17:52

I’m sorry I misread your post pls ignore my questions .?

GillT57 Wed 30-Sept-20 10:06:43

Whatever the reason for them moving in with you, they need to contribute to the extra costs involved. Apart from the obvious things like food, there are increased fuel costs due to additional showers, washing machine, dishwasher etc. If your son is working in Africa, surely he is not leaving his family penniless?

eazybee Wed 30-Sept-20 09:33:03

No one, whoever much she loves her family, should be expected to support them like this. They should be contributing to food bills, at the very least. What were they living on before?

OceanMama Wed 30-Sept-20 09:00:50

100 pounds a week for three people, assuming that covers rent, power, water, internet, food, use of appliances, etc, is a pretty good deal. Yes, this should have been agreed before they moved in. If they won't contribute you have a choice to either tell them they need to contribute or need to move out. What is the objection or barrier to the payment? Is there room for them to negotiate?

sodapop Wed 30-Sept-20 08:42:58

More information needed here please. Why have your family moved in with you ? How do you arrive at £400 pm seems a bit steep although I agree they should contribute towards living expenses and help with housework etc.

Lucca Wed 30-Sept-20 08:23:58

Not enough background information.
If you can afford to house them and as you say you love the grandchildren.......why complain?

NannyJan53 Wed 30-Sept-20 07:59:47

They refuse? As vegansrock said, this is a conversation that should have been made before they moved in. Surely they will at least contribute to the food bill?

tanith Wed 30-Sept-20 07:57:59

I’m puzzled as to what ‘all the extra bills’ are? Surely if they living with you now they would now be less?

vegansrock Wed 30-Sept-20 07:53:16

Why have they moved in with you? Is it because they are hard up? Is it an emergency.? Surely this is a conversation that should have come earlier.

Aiden2 Wed 30-Sept-20 07:51:12

My daughter in law and my 2 much loved grandchildren have moved in with us full time . Our son is working still in Africa . My daughter in law is not working yet . I would love them to give say 400 pounds a month to help with all the extra bills They refuse what do I do