'Nervous' drivers.

PS. I do have a friend whose confidence in driving is very low and I do tend to go over to her, if not then her husband drives her over to me.

I have to drive everywhere we go as my DH has serious health issues and no longer drives. I tow a huge caravan and also cruise our narrowboat. It is all in the mind and having confidence. Maybe one day it will be rather too much but for now I will carry on.

Is public transport not an option?

kircubbin2000

The funmy thing is one drives through city if called to work, the other goes 100 miles to an art holiday!?

Personally, I think they can't be bothered to visit you and I'm sorry if that sounds cruel. I think you have knocked the nail on the head with your latest comment, attached.

Driving takes so much skill and attention that anyone nervous of driving should not be on the road.
O.P. I think your friends could simply not be bothered. I would give them a wide berth from now on.

I happily drive anyone anywhere quite confidently until my husband gets into the passenger seat. He is so critical - he tells me he's trying to 'help' me drive better - I become a nervous wreck and make stupid mistakes.

I drove alone all over the country and abroad from the age of 17.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, developed panic attack at the wheel 30 years later. No reason for it. It hasn’t gone away. Sometimes I’m happily confident, next time I’m tripping into a hell hole.
So I now am cautious about where I will go on my own. Maybe your friends have a little bit of my loopiness?

biba70

LOL I first read 'peasants' ahaha

??

I know quite a few women who have lost thei confidence because DH takes it upon himself to be the driver, all the time. Several have deeply regretted letting this situation arise when they have been left widowed and stranded.
We always took turns with the driving. I have been on my own for almost 5 years, and still feel confident, at 81, though I try to avoid the ‘rush hours’ whenever possible.
Keep up with your skills, and don’t allow the men to take the driving seat every time, or you may live to regret it.

Maybe they thought it was petrol/planet wasting as presumably they would have to use two cars?

I agree with Scottiebear. I used to regularly drive up and down the country for work, often got lost but not nervous at all. Driven abroad for many years too on the 'wrong' side of the road with varying traffic rules. Not anymore, since DH retired I have hardly driven anywhere on my own apart from a couple of miles down the road. Get really quite worked up now at the prospect of driving to a different place let alone on a motorway!

LOL I first read 'peasants' ahaha

Bluebellwould
Talking of traffic, I live just inside M25 near Heathrow with lots of traffic. I went to see my mum who lived in Sutton on sea near Skegness. She drove us into Mablethorpe where we were stopped at a traffic lights and there were 5 cars in front of us. She was genuinely upset and apologised for the traffic jam!

In a village not too far from there, once you get off the main roads often there's a car waiting to move because there's pheasants mooching around in the road

I agree with Jillybird. I think it might be more to do with fears about CV19 and breaking any current local Lockdown rulings. Maybe if you were to ask them again but this time emphasise what plans you have to keep socially distanced during the walk and in the garden. Hope your leg feels better soon.

You have all my sympathy. When I worked, I commuted (by car) over 20 miles, and for every single social occasion for over 20 years, if I suggested to my team (18 people) that we might meet somewhere half way between us, I was greeted with cries of, 'Oh I couldn't possibly drive that far..!'
I simply stopped going to team meals etc eventually, as everyone was quite happy for me to drive home alone at 9 or 10pm, but wouldn't even consider car-sharing and driving 5 or 6 miles nearer to me...?
Then they asked why I was being so anti-social...?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maybe they are more worried about your sore throat than their driving??

My brother in law will only drive within the town where we live . His sister only lived 10 miles away but she has to pick him up every Sunday for lunch and take him home again.
His other sister lives about 30 miles away and he only visits her if I pick him up and take him when I’m going . His 3 year old car has only 3,500 miles on the clock

Gwenisgreat1 - There are always people who try to bring others down. I was "supposed" to be a useless driver but still being told by the person who put forward that view that I would have to drive 10 miles and another 10 back to pick up their DC, my DGC. Strange how one minute I was useless but in the next minute I was being used! Your DH was just being so nasty. Why should you give up your car why not him give up his car? Bet he does not let you drive his car.

I believed all this about how I was a useless driver but then realised the stupidity of being told to pick up their DC. I would never have allowed my DC in a car with a useless driver. The outcome was that I now drive to many places just for the day out or because I want to visit a place of interest. I am much too busy to pick up DGC from schools and be a downtrodden slave for anyone.

Have to admit my main problem with driving was giving up my car - Big mistake. DH has told me so many times I'm not a driver, I now believe it and will not drive out of town!

I’m sorry to say that I believe ‘nervous’ drivers shouldn’t be on the roads at all. I realise being able to drive is ‘freedom’ for many, but driving is an earned privilege not a right.

A great friend was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and continued to drive long after it was unsafe. Her GP sent her for an assessment and because it was in a different town, she was completely lost. When told her licence was going to be revoked, her DH was very annoyed and claimed she was safe, just driving from home to the nearest village 3 miles away. He was told in blunt terms that her licence indicated she ‘could’ drive anywhere and she had to be confident and competent enough to meet the criteria.

I’m sure a similar thread has been aired before and recommendations varied from taking a few refresher lessons to giving up and using the money saved for taxis.

I know two people (not that old, in their seventies) who won't now drive out of their own local area. They seem to overthink any possible problems that might be encountered.

kircubbin2000, maybe, though, the 'traffic' thing is an excuse. Some people just don't want to visit, even outside, to avoid any chance of catching Covid. I'd rather chat on the phone atm.

My husband would have said that a driving licence covers all roads and traffic conditions. He would remind me of that if I ever said I was apprehensive about a particular drive. It held me in good stead when I had to take over all the driving when he became too poorly to drive.

I will still drive anywhere, although not so much lately because of the virus. I do plan in more rest stops than I used to though.

I suspect I'm an average driver. It seems reasonable to me to be more comfortable driving routes I know at less busy times. I don't avoid other areas or busy times, simply prefer easier conditions. I can understand your disappointment kircubbin, the unexpected can throw people at times, try not to brood on it, keep in touch on the phone and enjoy some chats with your friends, one day socialising will be easier again.

OK, this might sound harsh- but honestly, if people cannot cope with normal road conditions, imho they should not be on the road.

Even short journeys near home, routine stuff, can turn into major challenges due to tractor, lorry, idiots, animals or children running into the road.