Gransnet forums

AIBU

AIBU to expect my stepsons to be allocated a place at my Father’s funeral

(29 Posts)
Mamma66 Sat 10-Oct-20 16:33:01

I have been married for ten years and we have been together for eleven years. My husband has four children, all adult. Two of the boys have lived with us off and on and I have a good relationship, especially with the youngest, although we have had our ups and downs over the years. My lovely father died yesterday and my brothers and I are trying to sort out the funeral arrangements. Currently 30 people are allowed. We have discussed it so far and said the three of us children and our partners (ex partner in the case of my younger brother). The six grandchildren, a representative or two from my Dad’s side of the family, the same from my late Mum’s side of the family and Dad’s closest friends. My husband has asked if the two of his sons who have lived with us can come. I think this quite reasonable but my younger brother has vetoed this and said cousins etc should be given priority. I feel a bit miffed. I appreciate that we are going through a hard time, but feel my younger brother is being unfair (especially as his ex wife will be attending - which I don’t mind at all). AIBU?

Cabbie21 Sat 10-Oct-20 20:19:57

Callistemon I think 30 is the maximum for a funeral, however large the building, which I agree is silly. On the other hand, surely a tiny chapel won’t be able to have 30? As far as I know each church has to calculate its own limits eg my local parish church has fixed on 20 maximum.

Callistemon Sat 10-Oct-20 20:37:15

It's all very difficult at the moment.

OceanMama Sat 10-Oct-20 22:39:54

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. These are awful and difficult decisions with limitations at this time. Maybe, at times, it just won't or can't be fair. Is there the possibility of a bigger memorial service later, when bigger gatherings are allowed? I know that doesn't solve the immediate problem, but maybe a way for more people to have their celebration of life later?