AIBU -to expect "sorry"?

You are not being unreasonable. It seems like he does not respect you or your home.

Time for serious thoughts and discussions on the way forward and your future.

I think different people express themselves very differently I don’t really think it makes much difference if he says ‘I m sorry’ or ‘I feel terrible for doing that I ll pay for the repairs’
I think women often have a better way of expressing themselves than men so I don’t personally see that as a big problem kinda splitting hairs

BUT

Why on earth are you living with an uncaring careless alcoholic
It’s actually laughable (if it wasn’t so sad) that you are not complaining about all the awful things he’s doing and his behaviour but the way he’s apologising afterwards !!!!

Get rid asap. He's taking you for granted big time and not affording you the respect you deserve - especially putting up with all that's happened so far.

No Jillybird, "I feel terrible about it" is not the same as "I'm so terribly sorry for what I've done. I'm embarrassed about my behaviour and the trouble I've caused you. Please, can you forgive me?" I have to say that you're far more forgiving than I would be in those circumstances; he'd have been out on his ear on the first occurrence of showing disrespect in my home. Are you sure that you're up for this kind of behaviour? Is it worth it? Because it doesn't sound, from what you've said that he has much respect for you, your home, your generosity in allowing him to stay or even much self respect. I think I'd be reconsidering......
And as you've posted this in aibu...... no. You're not.

Sorry is as sorry does. There is no point in him saying the word when he clearly isn't feeling the emotion and continues to behave in what most reasonable people would regard as a completely unacceptable manner.
Personally. I'd give him his marching orders and no, YANBU.

you just have completely different ways of living.
did you not notice this before he moved in.
i note you say partner rather than spouse, it ought to be that much easier to turf him out, as he will have no claim on your house or possessions.
your life does not seem to be enhanced by having him there, does it ?

No it is not the same!

No, I don't think it's acceptable to say "I feel terrible about it" instead of "I'm so sorry". Given the list of incidents posted, I think you have a bigger problem than what someone says after the event....

Why are you still with this person. I would not put up with drinking for a start,

If he has done all of the above I would get rid..he’s a liability! ??

Wow. Not a good place to be in.

You need to re-evaluate the relationship, and your tolerance for disregard. Because the way I read this, he has no regard for you or your house.