To ask to FaceTime my grandson .

That's great! I am so glad your son is in such close communication with you.

I must say that my son is great at sending me videos and photos and I always tell them I’m really grateful for that.

Yes I guess I’m just old fashioned and can’t get my head around the ‘my family’, ‘your family’ mentality. When I married both of my husbands I didn’t see his family as being his job and my family mine, we were/are just family.

Do you all have WhatsApp on your phones? It's a great way to share photos and video clips for free, and just as simple and user-friendly as a text.
My daughter tried making facetime calls to us during lockdown with our three year old granddaughter, but after a couple of minutes she was anywhere but in view!
We stick to WhatsApp messages now.

If he doesn't mind texting, why not make one more suggestion: he takes a photo of grandson and attaches it to his text.

I guess the mum facetimes her parents with the baby and expects her husband to facetime his parents, which is why it seems lopsided.

And I guess the same applies to texts. I only text my DIL if I've got something specific to ask or tell her and I don't text one Sil at all, ever, unless it was an emergency.

Obviously she sees keeping in touch with his parents as your sons role not hers

Forgot to say, what's the point of frequently messaging your dil if she is not on the same page with you? Why not stop the messaging?

Sorry I missed that message.

"No my son only texts, he has slight autism and doesn’t like using the phone."

So he likes using the phone for certain things and not others.

Does he like facetiming? Would it be him initiating the weekly sessions or your dil?

"I just don’t want to upset him as he likes everyone to be happy. My DIL is very close to her own family and seems to resent myself and my husband for some reason"
This is important info.
You also said that you text you dil and she rarely replies.
Was it always like this or something changed?

If your son thinks something is important enough for him, he would make it happen.

You have so much time post covid to have a relationship with your gc.

Hithere

I already explained that my son only feels comfortable texting but he did agree it was a good idea for my grandson to see and hear us.
My son and I text everyday. I text my DIL frequently but she rarely replies.

You would have better chances of a weekly facetime if you have placed the request in a different way - being able to see the whole family: son, dil and baby.

Expressing interest in only building a facetime relationship with a child is a huge mistake the grandparents make very often

Facetiming weekly a 9 month old - what are the benefits for the child? I don't see many.

If you have asked several times and facetime hasn't happened, I would not ask again.
They are clearly not interested in your suggestion.

Do you talk on the phone? Emails? How is your relationship with them? Does your son send you pics and videos?

Bibbity, that’s fair enough and makes sense, it’s just the other gran FaceTimes which seems a little odd. Thank you.

Honestly. I’d stop asking. It’s completely pointless. He is 10 months old!
He will not sit still. He will more than likely just try to grab the device and try and throw it.
As a parent who has attempted to FaceTime my sister in Australia it’s just not worth it.
He won’t get anything out of it and it would just cause them a lot of stress. I can see why you want it to happen but what’s best for them comes first here.

No my son only texts, he has slight autism and doesn’t like using the phone.
I just don’t want to upset him as he likes everyone to be happy. My DIL is very close to her own family and seems to resent myself and my husband for some reason.

Is there any reason you don't feel able to ask outright?
Do you FaceTime your son? If you do, he could probably have his little one on his knee so you can enjoy seeing them together.