Husband told secret I had asked him to keep. Worse still it was to the husband of my ‘enemy. ‘

Hithere the poster asked him not to reveal that he does spiritual healing as a hobby because it’s ‘not her cup of tea’

Sorry, I am rereading and it is very vague.

If what you asked him not to mention refers to his personal life, you have no right to do that.

If the issue at hand is that he disclosed information about yourself you dont want out there, he should not have done that.

I get the feeling this is the straw that broke the camel's back.

Baguette
You don't have a very high opinion of your husband, do you.
You discribe him as being weak, a people pleaser and accuse him of trying to impress.
Why are you so ashamed of his hobby Has he ever embaressed you?
I think your the weak person, not him by allowing your cousin to bully you for years. I think you need to look in the mirror and see who's the nicer person in your marriage.

Wait. I must’ve misread. I thought he’d told a secret that had been revealed during the healing.

Is it literally that he does this hobby?!

Ah sorry OP but if that’s true my response is going to be very different.

Oh I missed you last sentence “what can I do” apologise to him and tell him you ve have no right to tell another human what to talk about or what to be interested in or proud of, he’s not a child that needs monitoring ...outrageous really that you believe you can dictate his conversations for him

This is a non-problem, blown up out of all proportion.

Spiritual healing is something you are either into or you aren't, but your husband's interests are not something that you should be ashamed of have to be ashamed. Is he good at it? Why should he be ashamed of it, and if he isn't, why on earth should you be? What he tells his friend about himself is his own business. How can he even carry it out without telling anyone about it, anyway? He would never have contact with people who needed him

If your cousin returns to her old ways, just tell her to get lost and that your loyalty is to your husband, so you don't care what she thinks. But it isn't, is it? Your main thought is whether people will think you are somehow odd. You are being Hyacinth Bucket.

Was he aware of the bad blood between you and your cousin?

Regadless, your dh can heal with his own stories and experiences, why use yours?

I have no belief in spiritual healing but I actually think you’re out of order asking him to say nothing about something that obviously fulfills him and something that he’s a bit proud of
That’s telling him to not be himself but to be something you want him to be and that’s just not fair
So in answer to your question yes I think you are being unreasonable

I don't think you've a right to ask him not to talk about something that interests him. As a 'people pleaser' he probably agreed with you not to talk about it, but who knows what he thought about your request? And he 'let it slip' that he had, maybe because he wanted to tell you that he had made a mistake but wasn't sure how. You still don't have to see your cousin so there is no need to dwell on what she thinks, or you are allowing her continue to bully you when she actually isn't doing so. I agree with janeainsworth that you appear to be ashamed of him and his hobby, which is a different problem entirely.

Yes, let it go, he did not betray your secret, it's his interest, he has every right to talk about it.
I would also ask why you feel you should tell him who he can and cannot talk to about his spiritual healing, it's none of your business.
You refer to him as a weak man, sounds to me that you lack respect, and to be honest you come across as wanting to control everything including his conversations.
You ask where you go from here. I would say you need to apologise for the way you behave.
I would never dream of telling my partner what he can and cannot say, so long as it is not something private about me.

Chat to him about it and express your concerns . I would give him a chance to say sorry and reassure you that as you are so bothered then he wouldn't do this again . He is your husband not just a casual partner. He maybe doesn't take this a seriously as you as my husband is the same . If people don't like him then they have to move on as he has many friends that do . What is going to be the outcome of a bit of gossip ? Temp annoyance and if you think this person is so unkind then just don't bother with them . I have a friend that has found out her husband is seriously ill ...don't have to say much more .

Let your husband be himself! This is who he is and what he enjoys, if other people don't have anything nice to say its because they aren't very nice. How much of this is because you find it a bit embarrassing? Let go of that. Who cares what they think really, just be happy.

Give him a break!

It doesn’t seem small at all. I am so sorry he betrayed you like this.
How has he apologised?

It’s one thing to keep a secret about yourself, or something you’ve done in the past that you regret, but quite another to ask someone else to keep a secret about something about him or herself.

I’m sorry but I think you were unreasonable to do that. It sounds as though you’re ashamed of him.