I have a close male friend, purely platonic, pre covid our Sunday probably every other week would be as follows.
He would come round to mine, about midday, we'd have a cuppa, coffee usually or sometimes tea. We'd then go with him driving to a local hotel where they have a lovely carvery in a really nice restaurant. We'd have a drink while waiting for the meal, I could have a wine as I was not driving.
After, we'd come back to mine and had another coffee!
Then, weather permitting and sometimes not, we'd take my 2 dogs for a walk, down to the river, walk along the path, up the hill and arrive at a small local pub. There we would have a drink, non alcoholic in his case, and then walk home sometimes picking up fish and chips on the way, sometimes I would prepare a light meal for us. We'd then put on music, fairly loud but I don't think the neighbours were bothered as it only happened once in a fortnight or so. We'd then danced having been to dance classes a couple of years ago, jive mainly but we had lots or fun. He'd then set off for home and I felt so fulfilled and looked forward to a quiet evening on my own.
We had a chat today and pondered as to when we would be able to do all this again. We think probably for not a long while yet. Both of us will be alone for Christmas but accept this is what we have to do to keep us and people close to us safe.
Just wanted to share, sorry not very interesting but means a lot to me.
Missing theatre (I used to travel into London to meet a friend), music festivals, fairs, just any entertainment events, live sport on tv. I even used to like the train journeys but not likely to do that anytime soon.
Family not local, so like others, some planning is involved if we want to meet up.
But trying to remain positive - there are many who are in worse situations.
My friends and I love going to shows and concerts. Have had 4 rescheduled until next year and the way things are going I honestly can't see us going then either. Usually had a pre show meal, couple of glasses of wine and a good chat before it. I really miss going, it was our girly time lol. They are all married and it was the time I got to see them all, husband free. I'm on my own, live alone and really looked forward to their company and having a night out.
I miss Bridge holidays. A group of us from our club go away every year and it's perfect.
Having said that I have changed my life in other ways. No club commitments so walk a 1-3hours daily, save money, knowing (?)it's not forever.
MawB2 How I understand how you are feeling it is coming up to my lovely mans 1st anniversary and because of the restrictions I have not been able to get into a revised routine at all as I still in a state of shock when the 1st lockdown occurred in March.
I miss seeing my little ones obviously the eldest of the three of them has started school and looks so grown up now and her baby brother has started chatting away to everyone.
Even buying myself a new little car has not helped much really but does allow me to get out from 4 walls and drive down to the beach front and people watch for a while and walk my little dog.
Spontaneity and hugs
Yes Aepgirl, I miss being able to make plans. I think I miss that more than anything. The inability to plan.
I miss so many things. I miss my friends, I miss going to theatres and the cinema, I miss holidays, I miss going out for meals (although have been out a few times in the summer.)
I miss normality!
Peace of mind
I miss spontaneity- having to think before doing anything, not being able to make plans, etc. However, I do count myself lucky to have TV, radio, internet, phones, etc, and always friends and family to contact for a chat. It must be awful to be totally on your own.
I really miss not being confused abut who i can visit, who can visit me. I don't understand about the 'bubble' and i feel nervous everytime anyone suggests meeting up incase it is against the rules.
I miss walking along the shopping streets and thinking 'I'll just pop into the library / café / charity shop'.
Now I sometimes still walk along the street but only to go directly to shops where I need to buy something.
Craftycat that's really unreasonable about the car - and the coffee!
I miss meeting friends for lunch. I have 3 good friends who I usually meet once a month , separately. I’m missing them so much.
I’m lucky that I still work, because without the social interaction with my work friends, I think I’d have been really depressed.
My husband has dementia, which has become worse during lockdown. So for my sanity I need to escape.
I miss having the house to myself!
DH working from home with constant requests for more coffee.
Yes- he DOES know how to work the coffee machine!
He has also put a SORN on his car so we are sharing mine so I can't just go out for the day for a break as he has to use it sometimes.
AARRGGHH!!!
yes, why can`t you bubble? I need to know
funny this thread, well funny to me, in that I have seen this question posed elsewhere, and never knew how to respond, praps I try not to think about it..
but yes, sponteneity...(and being able to spell! I used to be good at spelling!)
oh hugs... I would never have described myself as a hugging person, but how strange that I miss that so much now.
oh and MawB, thank you so much for your post, encouraging I think as I am just coming up to the one year mark when my dh died... so I have another year to go! ho hum.... yes, but the good days do get a bit more numerous, and the bad, bad days, less numerous, though just as devastating.
good thread thanks for all the posts.
I miss meeting the people that come to my weekly Shared Reading group every Friday afternoon. It's a reading and a social event in one. I haven't seen any of the people since March and I miss them so much.
Oh wow what a wonderful friendship you have.
Can I ask why you can't bubble ?
Jaxjacky - your post nearly made me cry - I'm so much the same.
I've somehow, over the years, got used to my own family moving away and starting their own lives. But face to face contacts in the elderly community where we now live .... I feel them shrinking every day.
It’s all been said. I miss spontaneity, friends, a sense of freedom, hugging and most of all our family. Our younger grandchild summed it up ‘I want the germs to go - NOW’.
Apart from not seeing my family I so miss my friends. They are all slightly older than me and retired we used to work together many years ago and have stayed friends for over twenty odd years. I miss just meeting up and having lunch and chatting about everything. I also miss my sister so much she lives alone and won’t come out unless it’s for a walk or her shopping. So sad.
We miss spontaneity too. We had such lovely summer weather, one bbq with DD and GC’s, no friends round, no community events, carnival etc. But mostly miss hugs, with family and friends, especially friends on their own, my children and two grandchildren. We abide by the rules, but checking keys, bag..oh now mask and anti bac when leaving the house, moving away from people when walking, scary how we adapt.
I miss going to the theatre and cinema, foreign holidays, meeting up with friends for a meal or drink, looking around charity shops (some of them open again, but I feel claustrophobic wearing a mask). It’s made me realise that I had a pretty good life before the COVID pandemic hit and I feel truly grateful for that previous good life. Looking forward to getting back to some sort of normal life, but I don’t think it’ll be for a few months yet, if then, but trying to be hopeful! We do get to see our twin grandchildren once a week as we babysit whilst DD and SIL
are at work (keyworkers) but as we’re in our 60’s and with DH having certain health conditions, we are at risk, but seeing the GC is so very important to us (as is helping DD and SIL) and we do take a lot of care to be as COVID aware as we can.
I miss all the organisations I belong to. I have friends in all and we had regular meetings, events. Committee meetins were round a table, not Zoom meetings
Going out to the cinema and theatrical performances, and music events. Going out to all sorts of festivals and fairs and not having to mask up and avoid (socially distance) from other people. I miss hugging and touching, however briefly, frineds and relations. I miss socialising with friends.
I miss, so much, our holiday home in France, in most years we would just have returned from our seventh trip of the year. This year we made a brief trip for New Year, went again in February, then we had to miss two trips because of Covid, then managed to fit a trip in in early July when there was a few weeks without quarantine between Britain and France. We do not now expect to get over to France until next February, when we shall visit, even though we will need to go into quarantine both sides of the channel.
Apart from the obvious of family, for me it’s the going away preferably abroad just for a few days every now and then.
Much as others have said, the freedom/ spontaneity to see family and friends.
The ability to plan things with a fair chance of the arrangements coming to fruition.
At the moment I'm starting to really miss not being able to have a winter sun holiday. I suffer from SAD so we've often skipped summer holiday to go somewhere sunny early to mid November.
Ah well "this too shall pass".
What a lovely post sart. I'm sure you and your friend will have such good times again.
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