Gransnet forums


what do you miss at this difficult time

(93 Posts)
sart Wed 28-Oct-20 16:31:40

I have a close male friend, purely platonic, pre covid our Sunday probably every other week would be as follows.
He would come round to mine, about midday, we'd have a cuppa, coffee usually or sometimes tea. We'd then go with him driving to a local hotel where they have a lovely carvery in a really nice restaurant. We'd have a drink while waiting for the meal, I could have a wine as I was not driving.
After, we'd come back to mine and had another coffee!
Then, weather permitting and sometimes not, we'd take my 2 dogs for a walk, down to the river, walk along the path, up the hill and arrive at a small local pub. There we would have a drink, non alcoholic in his case, and then walk home sometimes picking up fish and chips on the way, sometimes I would prepare a light meal for us. We'd then put on music, fairly loud but I don't think the neighbours were bothered as it only happened once in a fortnight or so. We'd then danced having been to dance classes a couple of years ago, jive mainly but we had lots or fun. He'd then set off for home and I felt so fulfilled and looked forward to a quiet evening on my own.
We had a chat today and pondered as to when we would be able to do all this again. We think probably for not a long while yet. Both of us will be alone for Christmas but accept this is what we have to do to keep us and people close to us safe.
Just wanted to share, sorry not very interesting but means a lot to me.

fevertree Wed 28-Oct-20 16:36:26

sart that sounds like a lovely way to spend a Sunday. Not boring at all.

I think what you are describing is the freedom to do what you feel like to while away the hours, I miss impulsively and spontaneously meeting up with friends. It feels now as if it is all about planning smile. (I'm not complaining, just saying).

Oopsadaisy4 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:37:29

I guess that you are living in a lockdown area?
Otherwise you would still be doing the same things as you used too, you would have to book a restaurant, but apart from that I don’t see the problem.

Elusivebutterfly Wed 28-Oct-20 16:37:41

That sounds such a good thing to do and the sort of thing I did with my late DH. No wonder you miss it. Can your friend not be in a bubble with you?
I miss all my social get togethers which have not started up again since lockdown, things such as book club and other events. Now we are in Tier 2 I can't see my DS and partner, we can't meet for a meal on Sunday and I can't see any other friends. The weather's not good for outdoor meetings. I do have a bubble with my youngest and DGC but can't see anyone else.

Pantglas2 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:40:36

I also miss the spontaneity of life, Fevertree, as Conwy county has been in low then high lockdown for almost six weeks an we’ve another 12 days to go!

Jane10 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:42:22

It's just the small social get togethers that I miss. A chatty lunch with a friend, a family Sunday out with a nice meal then a walk. My classes and the apres class coffees etc etc
I make do with Zoom, phone calls and texts and chats to checkout staff.
It's OK. Not 100% OK but manageable. Could be worse.

crazyH Wed 28-Oct-20 16:44:41

Sart - sounds like a lovely friendship, something that most of us singletons would be jealous of - I certainly am....

dragonfly46 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:45:41

I miss my two DGC who I have not seen since January apart from FT and Zoom.

AGAA4 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:49:14

I miss mostly seeing family and Sunday lunches and coffees with friends. In lockdown here for a while and will be restrictions when we come out.

sukie Wed 28-Oct-20 17:06:21

Your friend and your every other Sunday together both sound perfectly lovely.

As fevertree stated, I most miss the freedom to go and come as you like. And that loss is most keenly felt in the inability to travel to see ds and his family that moved far away 18 mos ago. I saw them just over a year ago with plans to go again in the spring but of course that couldn't happen. We do the occasional skype call and that will have to suffice but I ache to be with the little ones who are growing up so fast.
Like others, I'm not complaining but just answering your question.

Chewbacca Wed 28-Oct-20 17:06:36

I miss seeing a film advertised, or a play at our local Am Dram and being able to phone my friends and say "such and such is on tonight/tomorrow night, do you fancy going"? We used to call in to the local pizzeria for a meal and a glass of wine before heading off to the cinema or theatre and it was just a lovely, easy way to spend an evening. I didn't realise how important and valuable those evenings were until they had to stop.

grannypiper Wed 28-Oct-20 17:08:27

Sounds bliss, i hope you both get to dance together soon.

biba70 Wed 28-Oct-20 17:09:07

our grandchildren- and course, lectures, the cinema and theatre.

TerriBull Wed 28-Oct-20 17:31:54

Grandchildren like everyone else, haven't seen that much of them, they haven't stayed overnight for instance since the beginning of the lockdown.

I've missed not going abroad this year, cancelled two flights, although we were lucky with an impromptu week in Devon when we had fantastic weather.

Not bothered at all about all the Christmas razzamatazz, or quite possibly lack of it this year, it's only two days so if it's just the two of us, so be it, can live with that.

We've had a few meals out so won't say meals, but cinema trips and had to cancel my best friend and husband coming to stay with us.

Iam64 Wed 28-Oct-20 17:59:35

Our adult children, their children, close family and friends. I miss the ease with which we could arrange to meet up, have a meal together, even in each others home. Military planning is needed now to arrange even to have a walk together. I miss hugging my loved ones.
Like everyone else, we have cancelled holidays and one of us has a big birthday this year - everything arranged for that has been cancelled.
Still we are all going through similar experience and must somehow find a way to do so with good grace

Greyduster Wed 28-Oct-20 18:10:49

I’m another who misses the spontaneity that has disappeared from life. I loathe having to book days out in advance and time slots for parking, and so not being able to take advantage of the weather. I also miss art shows, agricultural shows, country fairs, not being able to drop into the library. Above all, I miss my family. I can’t remember the last time my son and his wife were here.

Mapleleaf Wed 28-Oct-20 18:19:03

I miss spontaneity. I also miss seeing my siblings, none of whom live close by.

MawB2 Wed 28-Oct-20 18:22:34

Not a lot I can add to the previous posts.
I took me a couple of years after losing Paw to build a “new” life for myself, tea, coffee or lunch with friends, theatre, cinema, galleries and exhibitions, and relieved of the 24/7 commitment of caring for him, the frequent hospital admissions and clinic appointments, I was also able to see my grandchildren in London and Birmingham several times each month. Of course that all went.
DGS1 one apparently said to his mummy the other week “Do you remember when Granny used to come and visit us and for sleepovers? I wish we could all be together again”

Him and me both.

Alegrias2 Wed 28-Oct-20 18:25:13

What a lovely post sart. I'm sure you and your friend will have such good times again.

allsortsofbags Wed 28-Oct-20 18:53:19

Much as others have said, the freedom/ spontaneity to see family and friends.

The ability to plan things with a fair chance of the arrangements coming to fruition.

At the moment I'm starting to really miss not being able to have a winter sun holiday. I suffer from SAD so we've often skipped summer holiday to go somewhere sunny early to mid November.

Ah well "this too shall pass".

Lucca Wed 28-Oct-20 18:59:21

Apart from the obvious of family, for me it’s the going away preferably abroad just for a few days every now and then.

M0nica Wed 28-Oct-20 19:06:32

I miss all the organisations I belong to. I have friends in all and we had regular meetings, events. Committee meetins were round a table, not Zoom meetings

Going out to the cinema and theatrical performances, and music events. Going out to all sorts of festivals and fairs and not having to mask up and avoid (socially distance) from other people. I miss hugging and touching, however briefly, frineds and relations. I miss socialising with friends.

I miss, so much, our holiday home in France, in most years we would just have returned from our seventh trip of the year. This year we made a brief trip for New Year, went again in February, then we had to miss two trips because of Covid, then managed to fit a trip in in early July when there was a few weeks without quarantine between Britain and France. We do not now expect to get over to France until next February, when we shall visit, even though we will need to go into quarantine both sides of the channel.

honeyrose Wed 28-Oct-20 19:07:29

I miss going to the theatre and cinema, foreign holidays, meeting up with friends for a meal or drink, looking around charity shops (some of them open again, but I feel claustrophobic wearing a mask). It’s made me realise that I had a pretty good life before the COVID pandemic hit and I feel truly grateful for that previous good life. Looking forward to getting back to some sort of normal life, but I don’t think it’ll be for a few months yet, if then, but trying to be hopeful! We do get to see our twin grandchildren once a week as we babysit whilst DD and SIL
are at work (keyworkers) but as we’re in our 60’s and with DH having certain health conditions, we are at risk, but seeing the GC is so very important to us (as is helping DD and SIL) and we do take a lot of care to be as COVID aware as we can.

Jaxjacky Wed 28-Oct-20 19:29:27

We miss spontaneity too. We had such lovely summer weather, one bbq with DD and GC’s, no friends round, no community events, carnival etc. But mostly miss hugs, with family and friends, especially friends on their own, my children and two grandchildren. We abide by the rules, but checking keys, bag..oh now mask and anti bac when leaving the house, moving away from people when walking, scary how we adapt.

Harris27 Wed 28-Oct-20 19:36:31

Apart from not seeing my family I so miss my friends. They are all slightly older than me and retired we used to work together many years ago and have stayed friends for over twenty odd years. I miss just meeting up and having lunch and chatting about everything. I also miss my sister so much she lives alone and won’t come out unless it’s for a walk or her shopping. So sad.