Gransnet forums

AIBU

AIBU to scream and panic when knocked over in the dark suddenly?

(163 Posts)
Lavazza1st Mon 09-Nov-20 14:41:27

Last night I walked along the road and suddenly a biggish dog ran out of a church gateway and knocked me flat on the ground. I fell and hurt my left side and screamed, then the dog ran off. The owner blamed me because he could not find his dog, but he had not had him on a lead in a public place.

I'm feeling really rubbish today because I wouldn't want someone to lose their dog, but also it's made me lose any confidence I did have about leaving the house. I'm well padded enough not to have any serious injury, but am sore from the fall.

Athenia Tue 10-Nov-20 10:10:03

And whose responsibility is this? It is 100% with the dog owner. I am so sorry to hear that you have been shocked and knocked over, needing time to recover as the result of one irresponsible owner.
Please do report him to the police, who should go and warn him of the consequences if this were to continue.
It may make him realise that he was actually breaking the law by not having his dog under control.
I hope that you recover and are able to heal from this incident, and that it does not affect your freedom of movement in any way in future.

jaylucy Tue 10-Nov-20 10:07:27

So the dog owner reckoned he had him on a lead and under control when you were knocked over? He's got rocks in his head!
Don't let this stop you from going out, just make sure the next time you do, it's in daylight if you can.

jucook Tue 10-Nov-20 10:07:05

Morning, your post caught my eye as a healthcare professional. I think it would be very normal to feel terrified. It wasn’t only the threat from the dog but also the man himself. You also say you have ptsd so your brain will be more prone to processing threat based info like this and interpreting it in the way it did before.
What you’re going through makes total sense and is completely normal
I notice you’ve in part blamed yourself, and it wasn’t your fault at all but your brain might say it is! Might be worth googling self compassion (Neff or Gilbert) to tackle this
Chase your mental health appt if you can some services are offering online EMDR smile
Finally it is best to go back out - start with the daytime and build it up so you go when it starts getting darker. See how you feel. Your dog is probably picking up on your emotions so if you do some calming breathing exercises regularly and before going out this will help!

Miriam Tue 10-Nov-20 10:04:59

You are not being unreasonable at all, the dog owner is at fault not keeping his dog on a lead. The dog will find his way home with no lasting ill effects, unlike you. I hope you get your confidence back soon.

Mamma7 Tue 10-Nov-20 10:02:18

I’m a dog owner and keep my dog on a retractable lead at all times so it really annoys me to see the number of dog owners who let their dogs loose and have no or little control over them. They always seem to think they have control too which increases my annoyance - after they’ve called their dog back 30x with no results they then blame everything else in the vicinity. Worse case scenario they could cause serious accidents with people, other animals and cars etc. Rant over!!

Dianehillbilly1957 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:58:36

How horrible for you. He should have rushed to help you up and been very apologetic, the onus is on him to be responsible for his dog especially as it was off lead. What a horrible person. His dog probably got a fright coming across you.
You could report it as he was in the wrong and verbally abusive & has frightened you a lot, it may make you feel better knowing the police are aware.. You and your dog will hopefully going out again soon, just give it time.x

MawB2 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:57:11

Hetty58

Marydoll, I doubt that he will - as he doesn't seem like a normal, reasonable human being to me. He probably believes that he's done nothing wrong at all.

Hetty how can you say that when we know nothing at all about the dog owner ?

And as for Rmegan’s assertion that the dog has pood and peed everywhere
This tale gets more exaggerated and loaded with assumptions with every post.

I walk Hattie up to the village churchyard every day to “visit” Paw who died 3 years ago today. She doesn’t pee and poo everywhere and nor do do any of the dogs I see passing through that corner as part of their walk through the fields beyond.

LuckyFour Tue 10-Nov-20 09:53:01

It made me furious that the owner blamed you for the dog knocking you over! How utterly rude. Don't concern yourself about the dog, look after yourself Lavazza1st.

Pippa22 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:47

I think the man was being defensive because he knew he was in the wrong. I hope so anyway. I hope he helped you up and checked that you were o.k. But it doesn’t sound as if he would have. If that had been me I would have had difficulty getting up from the ground. Popping my head above the parapet here I will say that where I live there are regular comments from people who don’t like the way that dog owners allow their dogs to be off leads nearly all the time and when they run at people just say “ he likes you, he’s being friendly “ or “ the park is for dogs they are allowed to be off the lead and allowed to run around “ Never have I heard a dog owner acknowledge that other people are not automatically a dog lover. Back behind the parapet!! Sorry everyone but I have had too many trips to parks with small children spoilt by bounding dogs who like licking faces.

dogsmother Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:34

Well feel obligated to comment as you can see by name !
I’m pretty certain I’d have squawked if taken down to the ground by surprise ...... however it is never correct as Ma has said, and my children were also brought up never to do, to scream and flap around dogs.
Most dog owners are responsible and not “bloody “ whatever that’s supposed to mean. In fact I’m pleased to say dog owners are among the best most go getting respectable generous and kind personable people I know. Because they know how to love and care and share.
They will also show mutual respect.

polnan Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:34

oh gosh, yes, be kind to yourself..

do you do any meditation? I always thought of myself as a strongish person, but this anxiety has got hold of me...

just saying.

I wouldn`t go out after dark,, I have ensured that I get back as dusk falls if I am out late afternoon..

take it slowly is what I would do, a little bit and a little bit, ie. short walk,, build up your confidence again.

I am assuming your dog was with you when you were struck down, and on his/her lead?

I find most dog owners very careful where I walk

praying you get your confidence back very soon.

lots of hugs also

Rmegan Tue 10-Nov-20 09:41:06

The majority of dog owners are very responsible and most of us love our dogs more than ourselves. My dog has never ever been allowed to run without a lead .

Rmegan Tue 10-Nov-20 09:38:20

Absolutely not. If my dig had knocked you down I would have been mortified. You are in your rights to sue the owner if you could find him. I’m sure the Vicar would want to find him too if the dog had been running loose in the churchyard as it’s probably pooed and peed everywhere . You look after yourself, shuck can do many things to the mind.

4allweknow Tue 10-Nov-20 09:35:36

The dog owner should be ashamed. Fortunately you haven't sustained any serious injury but it could have been so different. The owner did not have his dog under proper control. Only 8 weeks ago my SIL was attacked by a dog, dragged owner across the road to him. He sustained terrible bites to his arms and a sprained wrist when dog grabbed him. Awaiting outcome of court case as owner charged. You were not being unreasonable the owner was.

Secondwind Tue 10-Nov-20 09:35:36

* Lavazza1st*

Goodness me - that’s a awful thing to happen! It must have been very distressing as it came so completely out of the blue. It’s so sad that it has unsettled you so much about going outside. I wish I had some words or advice regarding it, but I don’t, unfortunately. I do hope that any aches and bruises you have settle soon and that you can slowly begin to put this behind you.

MrsThreadgoode Tue 10-Nov-20 06:41:19

I’m surprised that the owner thought you had the dog, after it sent you flying, if it had a flashing collar on it.
I always keep a torch in my handbag, useful for shining into the face of anyone who confronts you.
But screaming will freak everyone out, especially a dog.
Didn’t your partner say anything to the chap?

Hetty58 Tue 10-Nov-20 00:40:17

Marydoll, I doubt that he will - as he doesn't seem like a normal, reasonable human being to me. He probably believes that he's done nothing wrong at all.

Kalu Tue 10-Nov-20 00:37:21

Well said Maw

I have had dogs all my life and only on GN have I been referred to as a bloody dog owner. This from people who wouldn’t know me or my dogs if we passed in the street but feel they have the right to shame me.?

Marydoll Tue 10-Nov-20 00:25:37

Maw, perhaps Sherlock could solve the mystery of the missing hound owner. However, as he has so little to go on, we may never know.
Unless you can recall what he looked like or the breed of the dog, best to move on Lavazza1st and concentrate on getting your confidence back.

Lavazza1st, perhaps the dog owner will avoid that area in future and take a different route.
He probably got as big a shock as you, especially if you screamed.

MawB2 Mon 09-Nov-20 23:54:01

Speaking as a bloody dog owner I feel compelled to say a word for the vast majority of us who are responsible and ensure our dogs are well behaved.
This unfortunate incident seems destined to blacken dog owners’ names everywhere regardless of what actually happened. A biggish dog ran out of a church gate and collided with a middle aged lady who was out with her husband and own dog, sending her flying and causing her to fall over.
It did not attack her but she panicked with the shock and screamed.
Was she being unreasonable? I can’t say as I wasn’t there but my own children were brought up not to scream, squeal or flap at dogs as it can make them over excited. That does not appear to have happened here as the dog ran off according to OP.
So let’s not inflate this into an attack by a random hound of the Baskervilles.
Yes its owner was at fault - does that mean all dogs and all dog owners?
Let keep a sense of proportion.

Luckygirl Mon 09-Nov-20 22:34:58

Bloody dog owners - really this is totally unacceptable, and I am so sorry this has happened to you. I have problems on my daily walk in the woods - I am alone and it is scary when they appear growling from the bushes. How I wish dog owners would properly control their dogs so that people can walk in peace and safety.

Hetty58 Mon 09-Nov-20 22:34:55

Marydoll, it's usually very easy to identify local dog walkers. Many take the same route at the same time every day. Other dog walkers will know who owns the big dog with reflective collar.

We soon found out who owned a dog that attacked a smaller one, their name and where they lived. The owner had just run away!

Patsy70 Mon 09-Nov-20 21:57:53

What is wrong with some of you? This lady was knocked off her feet by a large dog, which was not on a lead and had run out of the church gateway onto the road, whilst it’s owner was not focussed on his dog’s behaviour. During these times, dog owners should keep their dogs on a lead - as I do - in public places. Where is the understanding and empathy in this group? So sorry, Lavazz, that you’ve had this experience. I do hope you regain your confidence and begin to enjoy dog walks again with your partner. flowers

Callistemon Mon 09-Nov-20 21:39:47

Sorry, I have been spelling your name wrong Lavazza1st

Callistemon Mon 09-Nov-20 21:38:44

Is your dog a female, Lavazz?

My last dog was always very eager to say hello if there were any female dogs around, although he was about a quarter the size of some of them.