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AIBU

AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

(318 Posts)
Kandinsky Tue 15-Dec-20 13:26:10

She’s my DH’s only sibling - you’d think she’d buy a special, ‘to my brother & family’ type card rather than a card from a box that she probably uses for the neighbours & milkman too.
I always buy ‘special’ cards for immediate family.
Also, they have money so that’s not the issue ( I’d completely understand if it was )

AIBU?

AmberSpyglass Thu 17-Dec-20 15:31:55

I love it when kids get into their really pious eco-friendly stage! It never lasts but it’s such a good step on the way to caring about the environment and others and it’s just so adorable seeing them that earnest!

Alexa Thu 17-Dec-20 15:19:00

I'd love to have a small grandson like Daftbags's grandson who is interested in matters other than himself.

Alexa Thu 17-Dec-20 15:15:42

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

SueDonim Thu 17-Dec-20 13:07:35

Witzend I agree with you! I live in an area where trees are grown as a crop, and the industry supports many jobs.

I’m now wondering what Daftbags grandson has as Christmas presents. Nothing made of wood, of course. Nothing made from plastic as that’s very polluting. Maybe some sack cloth and ashes? And a hair shirt! wink

Elegran Thu 17-Dec-20 12:53:50

Agree, Witzend The fast-maturing softwood trees that are turned into paper for cards are not the problem - it is the indiscriminate use of hardwood trees that take many years to grow. People throw out wooden furniture that could be used for another century, and replace it with plastic-surfaced mostrosities that will fall apart or fall out of fashion in a few years and go to landfill themselves.

Recyclable paper cards can become new cards - and glitter and shiny surfaces are not obligatory.

Witzend Thu 17-Dec-20 12:11:04

Goodness, @Daftbag1, I fervently hope that no grandchild of mine will ever give me such a horribly pious lecture!

But if they ever did, I’d tell them that
a) the trees that are turned into card are a crop, like any other, which will be replaced,

b) that softwood trees like that actually use up a great deal of CO2 as they grow.

And c), it’s perfectly possible to buy recyclable cards!
All mine this year were recyclable, ditto the vast majority of those I’ve received.

Eloethan Thu 17-Dec-20 11:48:00

In my view, it doesn't really matter what sort of card a person sends. I sometimes send those "special" ones to people overseas but really it doesn't bother me what sort of card I get. It's just nice to be remembered.

C123 Thu 17-Dec-20 08:49:17

I'm with you on this one Kandisky. I'd notice & be a little disappointed by it
I'll try to change.... ☹️

Tickledpink Thu 17-Dec-20 08:30:40

Another point was made about charity cards, they are not always printed on the back, mine weren’t this year.

Tickledpink Thu 17-Dec-20 08:23:49

I used to buy special cards for sisters and brothers but now it’s one from a box. We gave a card to a sister this year and she said ‘I’m not sending cards this year’. I think people are sending cards less now, me included but I will always send a card to family.

Rabbit Thu 17-Dec-20 06:07:21

I think that a milkman would rather prefer a small gift of real money, a bottle of wine plus chocolates for wife & kids than a useless Xmas card. I buy all cards from the charity shops & could not care less what the recipients think. One cannot possibly please everyone all the time - so why bother? You'd go mad! Besides, I only do Xmas cards for about 5 friends of mine & the boy-friend scribbles away for weeks on end, slaving over a long list of his relatives & friends. Well, each to her/his own... I solve crosswords & Killer Sudoku while he labours under his Herculean task. Merry Western Xmas! Mine is on the 7th of January.

Sloegin Thu 17-Dec-20 01:28:37

YABU. It's never occurred to me that 'special' cards even existed and I think they sound a bit tacky. I think Christmas cards should always be charity ones and confess that I'm a little bit judgemental if I get one which isn't. Wrong of me I know but being honest. I now only post cards to people I know from previous places where I've lived and only keep in touch with at Christmas. I might give a card by hand to friends I might see at Christmas. Won't be seeing any this year so a phone call instead.

twiglet77 Thu 17-Dec-20 01:25:33

I only buy 'special' birthday cards for children's ages (and 18th birthdays). Might have bought the odd 'to my wonderful boyfriend' Christmas card when I was a teenager.

Daftbag1 Thu 17-Dec-20 00:32:47

I was told, (by 8 yr old GS), way back that it would be 'very selfish', of me to send Xmas cards, as I would be contributing to the ruination of our universe. I was told to consider the trees cut down every year for card to make the cards, but worse, the special finishes on cards made it difficuLt to recycle, and all th o se chemicals will ruin our waters and fish

Instead we have donated to Greenpeace as he requested!

MacTavish1 Thu 17-Dec-20 00:13:55

My partner always sends his youngest daughter one with Daughter on but I just send my daughter a nice card from a pack. Never used to send special ones to my parents or sister when they were alive either. There are more things in life than a special card, like wishing loved ones were still alive.

Hawera1 Thu 17-Dec-20 00:06:58

I always buy nice cards for the special people in my life but that's my choice. My sil always busys the smallest cheapest cards she can and they are wealthy. It just confirms my opinion of her. I'm rapidly running out of very special friends or relatives as most were very elderly. I love all the trappings of Christmas and I don't care.. However we do our bit for charity too. We collected food for foodbank and donated a trolley full of groceries.. One thing I do enjoy is receiving family newsletters from my friends with the cards.

Txquiltz Wed 16-Dec-20 23:19:00

YURBU

Lucca Wed 16-Dec-20 23:13:17

Hetty58

Kandinsky is being totally unreasonable. If she wants to buy and send 'special' cards, then that's fine, but expecting others to do so is just completely bonkers!

I do not believe this !, Read the thread! Read Lauranorder’s post !

misty34 Wed 16-Dec-20 23:07:37

My other half always buys special cards for his brothers and sister but not this year as we are not going out shopping.

All food is delivered etc. This may be the reason. I personally would not want to stand in a card shop perusing numerous cards, reading verses and putting them back once I had touched them in the current climate.

Hetty58 Wed 16-Dec-20 22:43:06

Judy43, same here - and especially this particular year, the milkman, postman and refuse collectors will receive a very generous Christmas tip in appreciation!

Hetty58 Wed 16-Dec-20 22:39:18

Kandinsky is being totally unreasonable. If she wants to buy and send 'special' cards, then that's fine, but expecting others to do so is just completely bonkers!

HillyN Wed 16-Dec-20 22:30:59

I would normally agree with you Kandinsky, as I always buy special cards for close family and they reciprocate. However with the difficulties shopping for cards and queueing for stamps this year I think I would just be glad to have one.

Judy43 Wed 16-Dec-20 22:15:10

Always give a Xmas box and card to the milkman and paper boy

Tweedle24 Wed 16-Dec-20 22:10:50

I love buying and receiving cards. Like many on here, I get charity cards (from Parkinson’s U.K. and RNLI.) The only special cards are for my grandchildren and great grandchildren’s birthdays, although the latter are all grown up now. I also donate regularly to several charities during the year. I do not buy the charity cards for show or to ‘pretend that I am making a donation’.

LauraNorder Wed 16-Dec-20 20:24:19

Kadinsky came back on page 4 or 5 with a very gracious reply. Now on page eleven and in spite of Suedonim and Lucca letting everyone know some posters are still weighing in.
Stop it please, as our FannyC would say ‘shoo’ nothing more to say here.
tchconfused