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AIBU

AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

(318 Posts)
Kandinsky Tue 15-Dec-20 13:26:10

She’s my DH’s only sibling - you’d think she’d buy a special, ‘to my brother & family’ type card rather than a card from a box that she probably uses for the neighbours & milkman too.
I always buy ‘special’ cards for immediate family.
Also, they have money so that’s not the issue ( I’d completely understand if it was )

AIBU?

Yearoff Wed 16-Dec-20 13:05:51

Sorry I do think YABU. I only buy a special card for my mum (I’m widowed so no hubby). Everyone else gets a good quality box card. I only posted 21 this year. One abroad and 20 2nd class. Cost was over £17. So expensive.

Moth62 Wed 16-Dec-20 13:04:57

I have to say that I am completely with the OP on this one. It has always annoyed me too - no names, no pack drill. Obviously I am also being unreasonable. Hey ho

Nicegranny Wed 16-Dec-20 12:59:20

I’m with twinnytwin. My mother passed away this time last year and my brother sorted all her things out. He returned to me all the lovely cards I had sent to mum and dad over the years that she kept and cards to just her when dad passed years earlier. It was really nice to see them again because l knew just how much they meant to her.

Penelope33 Wed 16-Dec-20 12:58:02

I’ve thought of not sending cards and donating money to food bank but.....we’re in our mid-late seventies......they’d think we shuffled off the mortal coil!! ???. C’mon, there’s always something to laugh at, even if it’s‘gallows’ humour!! Merry Yule!

SueDonim Wed 16-Dec-20 12:57:57

Kandinsky

You’re all so lovely on here you really are.
Sometimes we are so set in our ways we just can’t see any other point of view.
Thank you for making me realise this - I know it’s a silly minor ‘problem’ especially in such troubled times, but that just goes to show how tunnel visioned I am in certain areas.

Happy Christmas to you all, and all the very best for the new year. ???

For those who think this is a wind-up, or have not RTFT, the OP has responded graciously with the above reply.

EllanVannin Wed 16-Dec-20 12:50:34

My cards from Oz consisted of one with a kangaroo and one with coloured parrots----and I was delighted ! They were from D and a separate one from AGC's. When I was in Oz for a few Christmas's, everyone received kangaroos, parrots and koalas on their cardsgrin

Isn't it just nice to receive a card whatever it might be ? Doesn't bother me that they haven't paid £££'s, ( except for the postage )

AcornFairy Wed 16-Dec-20 12:49:20

How ungrateful! No one HAS to send cards, so surely you should be thankful she sends you one at all!!

poshpaws Wed 16-Dec-20 12:43:04

I'm actually genuinely sorry for you if you're hurt by the fact your SIL sends a card from a pack, as it's horrid to be disappointed. However I cannot for the life of me get why you think it's a slight. Many people, me included, think those ‘to my brother & family’ type cards are utterly naff - after all, your brother and family know who they and you are! - and these days I feel it's nice just to receive a card at all!

Hels001 Wed 16-Dec-20 12:41:41

Let it go its only a card! Its no biggy with all that's going on the world a special card isn't the be all and end all! Be grateful you've got a card plenty of people won't be receiving cards from loved ones and friends who aren't here anymore. Look at the bigger picture.

Tanjamaltija Wed 16-Dec-20 12:40:12

You don't give special cards to people because you have loadsamoney. You don't send ordinary cards to people because you don't "care enough to send the very best" to borrow the Hallmark slogan. If you have the time and the inclination to worry about this ridiculous thing... well, I envy you.

kwest Wed 16-Dec-20 12:34:11

I received a text from a very dear friend the other day. She has been working from home for months. She is one of the most generous people that I know. She said having had so much time at home (she is a very high-flying tax expert), has given her and her husband time to reflect. They are going to have a very simple Christmas this year and the money they would normally spend on fancy food, presents and cards will be donated to charity. She would like to reflect this in donating to a charity of her friends' choice and asked that people text back with their preferred charity.
I thought that this was a beautiful thing to do. I texted my choice of charity and she responded with a promise to donate.

inishowen Wed 16-Dec-20 12:26:48

I wouldn't dream of buying a special card. In fact we don't send cards to immediate family. If thats all you have to worry about, you're very lucky.

Fernhillnana Wed 16-Dec-20 12:17:57

Gosh, I’ll be impressed if my son and DIL manage a card at all. New baby. Busy jobs. I don’t care.

sodapop Wed 16-Dec-20 12:16:15

Thanks for that Phloembundle many people buy cards and give to charity not that it should be anyone else's business. Cards arriving from friends and family give a lot of pleasure which is in short supply at the moment.

henetha Wed 16-Dec-20 12:13:11

I think you have taken all that criticism very well Kandinsky.
While I agree with lots of the points made here,, I feel sorry for you.
Some people like special cards, I've been known to send and receive them on occasions, naff or not.
Happy Christmas.

lilyH Wed 16-Dec-20 12:13:10

Just because its your choice to buy special cards does not mean that SL does not choose her card to you with thought just because it came from a pack which she has chosen to buy.

cupcake1 Wed 16-Dec-20 12:12:57

I always get special cards for our children and grandchildren and 3 close friends. All reciprocate with special cards for DH and I. I see nothing wrong with that as it gives me joy and (hoarder alert!) I don’t throw them away in January. If I was the OP I would send one from a box in future and not worry about it, but that’s just me?

sodapop Wed 16-Dec-20 12:12:20

Those cross stitch cards are really lovely paddyann my friend always used to send me one then she became ill and couldn't send them any more. I have kept them all,

Phloembundle Wed 16-Dec-20 12:07:52

Oh dear, you're a bit pathetic aren't you. Everyone should stop sending Xmas cards and give the money to charity.

paddyanne Wed 16-Dec-20 12:04:23

I buy a special card for MIL ,used to buy one for my own mum too and my youngest GD got a baby's first Christmas one last year at the request of her sister who was still staying with us and "helped" to choose cards .
My daughter designs and makes her own cards and always sends us one with a beautiful personal message in it,her MIL makes little crosstitch cards and gift tags to match last year my cards were a lovely wee robin.I keep all that she has made and have a plan to frame them .I'm not crafty so its ordinary shop bought from me

Summerstorm Wed 16-Dec-20 12:03:18

Personally I don’t like the “to my brother and family” sentiment on cards. I somehow feel it’s like he is the important one and his wife and family are further down the pecking order. I feel the same about “son and daughter in law” or people that treat step or adopted children or grandchildren differently to biological ones when it comes to birthdays, Christmas’s extra

Legs55 Wed 16-Dec-20 11:58:03

I bought a beautiful card in M&S for my Mum, Charity card in aid of Hospices, quite expensive but she is 91 & I can't see her as she's in Tier 3, we live 300 miles apart.

I always buy my DD & DiL & DGSs special cards & receive special cards from them.

Each to their own, I also keep my special cards.tchsmile

glammanana Wed 16-Dec-20 11:54:22

I have to agree with most of the posters and that YABU,many GNers would love a card from a pack so be grateful for what you have its the thought behind it that counts as said above by MiniMoon

ALANaV Wed 16-Dec-20 11:50:25

I do send special cards to family and to friends who have gone the extra mile on my behalf during the year....everyone else gets Charity cards and I make donations to the Lifeboat and the Salvation Army with extra money I would have spent on 'Specia' cards.........I have to say I do really treasure two special cards I received on the last Christmas before they died, from my Dad and from my Brother, saying 'Daughter' and 'Special Sister;......I keep them in a frame as they mean a lot to me ............otherwise I chop up all others and recycle them ....cuttg up some (especially those with a cat on !!!) to make gift tags next year ................each to his own ! I have friends who never send cards but just an e mail ...that is also fine by me ! it is after all, the thought that counts......Happy Christmas everyone ! tchsmile

ReadyMeals Wed 16-Dec-20 11:44:27

Lol it's a YABU from me too I'm afraid. My recipients get what they're given and because I hate writing cards they should be grateful they get anything at all :D