AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

Sorry Kandinsky but I agree with many others. I love sending and receiving Christmas cards but I have never bought, or indeed received, a special one. I always buy packs of charity cards and everyone on my list has the same card. I write a short personal message inside each one.

I have always bought 'special' cards for my two sisters as we live apart and didn't get to see each other at Christmas. They are always chosen for the fitting wording inside and were never the same. Unfortunately I lost one of my sisters a few years ago and it still makes me sad when I buy for the remaining one and I am not buying the two. My sister sends me one too and it is very special to me. My son and daughter live abroad now so they get them too.

The special cards are usually too cheesy, far better a charity card. After all what happens after Xmas? The cards all get binned. Far better to donate something to a homeless charity with the money saved.

Its not the cards that cost so much, it's the postage. My friend recently posted hers, she had a shock when the lady behind the counter said £45 please. That's why a lot of people buy boxed cards, its does save a bit of money.

First time I have got to understand what AIBU means! Yes UABU

Sorry Kandinsky but even though you are annoyed at your s-i-l for not going out to get you a special card I do think YABU!
This year is particularly difficult with lockdowns etc and many don’t want to go out especially to card shops which can be very overcrowded. Also “special” cards can be very expensive and it can be hard to find just the right words inside. Does your s-i-l write your names in her card or just sign it? That for me would be more annoying.

@yellowcanary @Doodledog I have donated a sum of money to a local animal sanctuary this year in lieu of Xmas cards. I sent emails to friends with seasons greetings and also explaining about the charity I follow. One of my friends emailed back saying she wanted to make a donation on my behalf then sent me pic of the receipt for her donation to the animal sanctuary I had chosen.

At present there are so many extremely important and serious issues to think about and being sent a box card should come very low on your list of priorities ??‍♀️

We dont buy cards - especially expensive ones which often don't recycle. Slight exceptions are for elderly relatives and friends - less than half a dozen - who don’t have the internet or mobiles to receive greetings. We make a donation to a charity instead of sending cards. Sometimes my grandchildren give me home made cards - but not this year as I won’t see them!

I think there are more important things to think about than this.

I must say I do buy a card for DH different to the ones I send to everyone else. I wouldn't say it's 'special', it just has more relevance to us. This year I bought one with two Christmas trees leaning together as we've had one of those years when a lot seemed to go wrong for us. He finds it hard to talk to me about things, so I buy him a card to let him know I understand. (If that's cringe making then I'm guilty.)

I would never buy "special cards". Surely what makes a card special is the personalised note that the sender writes inside the card?

I have always sent special cards, thoughtfully chosen, to close family. This year though, I haven’t been near a shop since March due to being vulnerable. I ordered cards online from a local charity and everyone has been sent one of those. This Christmas is different in so many ways. Let’s just be thankful we’re safe in these troubled times!!

I buy special cards for my immediate family charity cards for everyone else

Read the whole post folk. The original poster has replied very nicely a few times and thanked people for helping her to give her head a wobble.

Extremely unreasonable. Its the thought that counts. Is this perhaps a 'wind up' post???

I make all my own cards. I am a crafter so it comes naturally. I do make my cards to make them personal & I really enjoy making them so it is a win/win plus it is a heck of a lot cheaper.
What always gets to me is that the first cards that arrive are usually from people we have not seen for years & have decided not to send to anymore- such as people we met in holiday in Greece about 8 years ago!

I think if someone takes the time to write and send you a card then that's all that matters

I always buy special cards for family and special friends, but I have no expectation of what they send to me, or if they gave decided not to send to me at all, that's fine. Apart from the ones from grandchildren they all go in the bin in January. Try not to over think it, pour a glass of something you enjoy in the knowledge you have done what you enjoy doing for family at Christmas, that is all you can do. Merry Christmas ?

Yes, YABU totally, IMO. If you like cards like that, then send them, but don’t expect a similar one in return.

MAWBe - I give my milkman a card enclosing a tip. I live alone in a fairly isolated spot which can be difficult to reach in bad weather and he has never let me down. He will deliver a newspaper and many other item. I am thankful for his service.

We are all different

It's reasonable enough to have your own preferences, but to be miffed that someone doesn't send you a 'special' card is, IMO, unreasonable.

Have you ever considered that, like quite a few of us, your sil might actually dislike these so-called special cards?
It's possible that she too is secretly miffed that you insist on sending her one of those instead of a 'normal' one

I have never bought ‘special’ cards at Christmas. Surely a better way of gaging how close you are to a friend or relative,is whether you keep in touch with them, are welcoming when you see them, there for them if needed etc, rather than buying a ‘special’ card which takes little effort really. Likewise if someone was struggling financially( not saying you are OP) It would be better to give them something of practical use than such a card.

I send special cards to my parents and daughters and grandchildren. One brother and my sisters get cards that I think will appeal to them. This year I found charity cards that were 3D scenes, so I sent them to my sisters and funny ones to my brother. It’s personal choice, but try not to be upset kandinsky-at least you get a card.

Some years ago I was working with a vet from Belgium and she was very confused at why we would send Christmas Cards to people we are in contact with. She told me they send cards to people they do not see or have much communication with.

It's a bit weird, I have known a few people, who give each other 'special' cards. In every case, there were problems of some sort or other, and the cards were used as sticking plaster to show some sort of fake harmony.

I buy charity Christmas cards and everyone gets one of those. I buy nice ones and think these are quite acceptable. Ive noticed that my sons and families no longer send cards, they usually text. So think yourself lucky to get a card it could be a text message!