Unkind comments

Like some posters have said, you don't know what's going on in people's lives. I am always being told that I don't look very happy and rarely smile. Well I'm not a happy person and, having had all my teeth removed aged 11, no I don't feel like smiling much. People should think before they speak.

The 'cheer up' remark has been made to me many times. I am a serious person with a face to match! No one knows what goes on in anothers life and I agree it's just rude. I quite like the OPs response, it will probably stop them from saying it again.

That used to happen to me when I was a self-conscious teenager. Encouraged by learning from the Readers Digest that we use 43 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile, my way of coping was to practise smiling. Literally. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to see what others saw when I was looking 'normal', then smiled and learned the muscle memory for that. It did feel odd to go about with what felt like an 'inane smile on my face all the time', but only for a while. Anyway, the point of this story is that my DH says that when he first saw me, in 2010, what attracted him was my lovely smile!

I would not say I was plagued by remarks but some people don’t think before they open their mouth. When I was younger people I know would not usually make remarks because I was rather feisty. In other words I would not put up with it and put them in their place. As I have aged I have become more laid back. But I find people take advantage of this and make tactless comments. I never make personal remarks to people but have noticed some people do. I have decided they are ignorant and do not know how to have a conversation so avoid them.

I've had that cheer up it might never happen remark. Some people think they can say what they like, so thoughtless.

What about "are you so rude to every stranger you meet?" They really should think twice before opening their big mouths.

I've only had older men do this. Probably something to do with the socialisation that women should be cheerful and smiling all the time. I've never done it but hope I'll be quick enough to think to reply something about them having no idea what is going on in my life if it happens again.

I once had someone go on at me about the hard day they had and that they had a headache. I nodded with understanding and smiled and acknowledged their frustration. Eventually they went on for long enough I couldn't listen to it anymore and told them I knew all about headaches since my daughter had died six months ago that day. It changed the direction of conversation at least and I finished up and left.

My mouth naturally turns down too. It's really annoying when people tell you to cheer up. I love the 'sister died' response.

Thankfully no i`m not Quizzer.
But some people realy are rude, i wonder what their reaction would be if someone said something about their looks.
Vile ignorant pigs.

Oh dear.
That happened to me once when I was in my twenties.
I was in a pub with my best friend and I must have been looking very, very sad.
Some bloke said 'Cheer up, it might never happen'.
And I replied that it was my mom's funeral the next day.
It was.
The poor man was mortified.
I felt awful for him, to be honest.

I would not do it if I were you.

I fully support that response. I haven't often been told to smile but the few older men that have told me to smile, they have no idea what goes on in my life. It's quite presumptuous.