Breakfast ritual

We help ourselves in this house! I am always up around 8 but OH doesn’t emerge until 10 ish. Admittedly he is on strong medication which renders him very sleepy in the morning. I have the same thing everyday - toast and marmalade, bowl of meusli, banana, couple of cups of tea and a small glass of pineapple. On holiday I would have a FEB! At home I put OHs crockery out and he helps himself when he gets up.

Rosalyn69, Both my husbands knew, only too well, to stay out well of my way and not talk to me - for at least an hour or so, in the mornings!

My DH knows that I need to get up first and spend at least an hour on my own drinking coffee and checking social media. After that I can talk.

Rosalyn. I have a dyslexic finger.

Roaslyn wrote:

"It’s only since he retired and now with lock down."

So is his breakfast behaviour meant to allow hism to feel more relevant to your partnership?

Mind your own Urmstongran I'm quite happy being grumpy in the morning or even at 16.05 in the afternoon.

Interesting to hear that I’m not alone in needing my own space first thing in the morning. I’m usually up first, let the dog out and feed him, have a cup of tea, do a few chores and catch up on messages and news. I have cereal for breakfast, but not that early. OH comes downstairs, makes toast & coffee, sits down to catch up on news, and doesn’t stir for at least an hour! In normal times we would often be out doing our own thing during the day, so would sort out lunch separately, but we always have dinner together. He does sometimes seem offended when I decline his offer of a cup of tea! It’s good to hear that you’ve made your wishes clear Rosalyn - start as you mean to go on, as it can be difficult adapting to retirement.

@Rosalyn69 I need a coffee, half an hour of just me, and time to feed dogs and cat before DH, who wakes up super springy, is permitted to talk to me.

If he does get up early, I just growl as he approaches.
Works every time?

Thank you for all the lovely and helpful responses.
It’s only since he retired and now with lock down. He often worked away so I was my own person a lot of the time.
I have put my foot down and said I’m getting up an hour earlier to “do my own thing” before deciding on food.

What would I not give to have my late DH. warts and all, back in my life.

No. MrA couldn’t care less what I have for breakfast.

Rosalyn Which bit of “Thank you, but I’ll decide what I want for breakfast when I’ve finished my jobs” does your DH find hard to understand or accept?

Is it a thing left over from childhood when the whole family was expected to be up, dressed, and eating a cooked breakfast together?

If that’s the case some re-education is what’s needed to allow him to shrug off the strictures of a lifestyle long gone.

I usually wake at 6.30 creep downstairs to make my tea, quietly get back into bed in then hope DH doesn’t wake for at least an hour. That gives me time to check and contribute to GN. Look at the weather forecast. Read the BBC News headlines, check if I have any emails and maybe play online scrabble. When DH wakes we have a little chat and then he gets up, gets washed and we both get our own breakfast. Woe betide him if he wakes early and messes up my routine ?

We have the same breakfast every single day so there is no need to ask. I make his but as I like toast and hazelnut spread there is no point in DH making it until I'm ready. I do quite like it on my own though as I was used to that when I retired and now also if I am up early for childcare.

We’d get on well together over the breakfast table by the sounds of it EV!
You make the crumpets and I’ll sort the hot chocolate...

I cannot even imagine ever waking up grumpy!

I stay in bed and do my exercises while DH makes his own breakfast, will do more exercises when he makes porridge - can't stand the smell. That is the only 'meal' he does any preparation for!

DH gets up and makes tea which he brings back to bed, and we then have a bit of a read before showering and dressing. We don't have a breakfast routine except on Saturdays, when it's always boiled eggs & soldiers. Otherwise we get our own, DH sits at the dining table with the newspaper and I usually have mine in front of the tv so I can catch up with the news headlines on teletext. How boring are we! (don't answer that)

What happened to tolerance and patience ?
I can't be doing with long faces in the morning, or any time for that matter.

" Straighten your face " was what my mum used to say, Urmston.

Prefer my own space till Midday Lucca.
After years of getting up early for work, getting the kids ready for school, taking husband to work before getting myself ready for work,(only had the one car for years) I think I deserve peace and quiet in the mornings, don’t you?

So many grumpy grans in a morning!
What’s up with you all?
‘Put your face straight’ my mum used to say.
?

I cannot be spoken to before I've had my breakfast. Strict avoidance of each other before midday. Brek and lunch separately, dinner together.

Poppyred

How very annoying! I don’t want to see anyone before midday, let alone talk to anyone! He needs to be told!
Mine is retiring in 10 weeks time..... ??

What ? Why don’t you want to see anyone before midday ?
I feel a bit sorry for OP’s other half to be honest.

I get up at least two hours before my dh so I can have my breakfast in peace listening to Classic fm and reading. He has been known to wake up but stay in bed so I can have my peace and quiet. But as soon as he is up the tv goes on and stays on til bedtime, not my choice!

I'm grumpy and don't want to interact in the morning except with the animals. My husband has accepted this now after having his head bitten off several times. Why can't you just tell your husband what you need and don't need Rosalyn you are married to the man for heaven's sake.

Alternative suggestion - what I’d do is get him to get up first, feed the animals, make me a cup of coffee in bed, then take the dog for a walk - then you can get up at your own speed, and be ready for him to make you breakfast when he gets back win, win.

I know it nice that the OP still has her husband - I'm sure she appreciates that but it's not on for him to get hurt and angry!