I feel so guilty

Buttonjugs, the house has been sold and the OP has bought a house for her and her husband to live in because they left their tied property on retirement. I don't think anyone should sell their own property to help out a brother who had his share when his mother was alive.
OP, the only person who has done anything wrong, is your Mum. She should have. been quite clear in her Will why she was making this decision. It is not incumbent upon you to explain your mother's actions but if your brother ever actually verbalises his dissatisfaction directly to you over the Will, you can only explain what you 'think' her thoughts were.
My sister has moved further away from her mother over the years (which is her right) and over the years I have been the one to look after my Mum who has been hopeless with admin for years, long before her dementia started. We purchased a house between us and it goes into my name fully when she dies. She did once put my sister's name on another property but after receiving letters from my sister's solicitor demanding a number of assurances, Mum sold the property. My sister was livid. However, some years later my Mum gave a considerable sum of money to help by a house and felt she had therefore treated us equally in the long run. A recent conversation with my sister made me realise that my sister honestly thought I would put 50% of the house with my name on back into the estate when my Mum dies. Consequently, I have asked my Mum to put into her Will exactly why I get her half. Not only have I dealt with all the admin on it and worked on it to improve it, my Mum wants me to have it because she does appreciate that I have been the one there for her. My sister is still mildly pear shaped about it but the rest of my Mum's estate will be split equally and fairly.
However, it just goes to demonstrate how these things can upset the apple cart with families and why it is so important to be explicit with your reasoning whilst not hurting the people left behind.

Mooney59

Have you heard the wedding vows? Do you know the legality? Thought not. You live together and what’s yours is hers and vice versa. I’m appalled that you could think you could do what you want with assets in a marriage without consulting the other “half” (word used for a reason)!

This is not true. In the instance of inheritance some places do not include it as a marital asset.

This is also not true for things like gifts etc.

Also I got married 5 years ago and that definitely was not in the vows.

Mooney59. There is a difference between religious law and the law code of any particular country.

Married couples organise their finances in many different ways to meet their personal and/or business requirements some couples choose to keep their own finances and savings entirely separate. Many nowadays sign pre-nups.

It is not our position to judge or dictate to people what they should do. Bear in mind that for many centuries whatever religious services and the bible said, when a couple married, both the woman and all she possessed were immediately considered the property of the husband.

Have you heard the wedding vows? Do you know the legality? Thought not. You live together and what’s yours is hers and vice versa. I’m appalled that you could think you could do what you want with assets in a marriage without consulting the other “half” (word used for a reason)!

Why did you not keep in touch with your mother for all those years? I know there was no social media or mobile phones but you could have used a phone kiosk or written, and as for leaving you the house when you were not constantly in contact is something I cannot understand. Being the "unfavourite child" I saw the favouritism dished out to my middle sister, and my friends sister gor the lions share of the will. I think your mothe's will was unfair.

.....’all my worldly goods I share’ - that might have been pertinent years ago when women got married fully expecting to be kept by men for life. But it’s nonsense really

I will leave equal to my children. I wouldn't want to be the cause of any fall out between them in their future!

In my case I have made my Will which leaves nothing to my daughter, she knows where I am, but has not contacted me for 14 years and in the early years I used to try to find out why , try to contact her, found out she had married and has a son (may have more, I have no idea !) SO I made my Will to the effect that she has abandoned me (not that I want anything from her ...ha ha ...she informed me when she was 14 (she is now 40) that 'I'm not going to look after you when you are old....I will put you in a home'...to which my reply was 'OK...that would be good ...I hope you can afford it !)....it makes me sad as I would have liked to have left something for at least the grandson (or others as well) but my Solicitor said I cannot do so without his date of birth or address ....now I know this is not strictly true, as you can word a Will which allows for descendants of your children ...my solicitor did say she could contest the Will ....but hopefully I have that part sewn up and my reasons are within the Will .....if she ever contacts me before I die, then Imay change the Will and have informed my solicitor of that fact ....so no, don't feel guilty ..it was your parents decision and had nothing to do with you

You got what your mother wanted you to have so you keep it for yourself and your family cos you don't know when you may need it for in the future. If he asks for money say it's in your kids names for their future, for uni or something and can't be touched, that's if you really don't want to say the word no to him.

I would have thought a lot depends on what went on between your mother and brothers all those years when you were out of touch. (Was there no postal service where you were?) . You left your recently bereaved mum with two younger sons and didn't even care enough to contact her or share your children with her. How do you know that she spoilt the boys and that they asked for money? If they were her company and there for her why shouldn't she spoil them. Also I think what you did with the house is hugely relevant. If you lived in it,, then fair enough. But if you sold it then I think you should have given the boys something from the proceeds. For all you know, they may have helped with decorating or DIY or it's general upkeep and care. Does your brother actually ask for money or are you feeling slightly guilty and misinterpret your conversations? I don't really think any of you come out of this sounding particularly kind..

Fast forward to my life (extremely similar to yours) and I am currently helping my sister. We've been trying to stay in touch for the past 20 years after more than 10 that we never spoke. A few years ago at the age of 55 my older sister found herself and her 17 year old son homeless. I broke down and bought a house for them to live in and she agreed to pay rent of $500 per month. In two years I have received one months pay and had to pay off their electrical bill because they were about to get it shut off too. Her son pays his portion and has been responsible for his portion. My sister, can't even keep up with basics and I've sent money as well. The moral of the story is...don't do it unless you are prepared to support another person because if he still hasn't gotten his life together by now, he probably won't do right by any money you assist with.

There was a reason she gave the house to you. She had her reason and I expect it is as others have said, your brothers took their share at the time. You don’t owe either of them a penny. Remember once you give once they will be back for more and more.

Shelagh6, don't the marriage vows include the words "..and all my worldly goods with thee I share"? Whether or not the ring is suitable for your husband, if you ever decided to sell it then half the value would be his! If I want to give anything to anyone I would always check with my DH first, as he would check with me.

I also think your mum seems to have taken into account all that you didn't ask for from her over the years.
I'd say look after your own family. If your brother still can't manage his own circumstances, this late in life, then... well that's really his problem.
I'm assuming your mum didn't leave you millions, just enough to make life a bit more comfortable for you and yours.

When my DH died his will left everything to me & then my DD if I had predeceased him. He left nothing to his on DD & DS, on our Solicitor's advice he also left a letter explaining his reasons, their DM (his Ex) was in a better financial position to provide for them.

My DD didn't inherit anything from her DF, everything going to his wife. My will leaves everything to my DD & DGs

Mooney59 - no woman nowadays, if left money, has to hand it over to anyone (certainly not her husband) - I have never heard anything quite so daft. I’ve just been left a ring which a) wouldn’t fit him, b) wouldn’t look good on him and c) isn’t a man’s ring. Certainly in a marriage you don’t own everything and can give away what you own to anyone. I am shocked!!!

Somebody above said regardless of the will siblings had agreed that after the death, regardless of the will, they would divy up equal shares of the estate. In.real.life doesn't happen.

I wouldn't give him anything. Your mum gave him money .you don't have to.

I cant understand why parents do this it causes resentment. I think I would have shared the entire inheritance with my siblings at the time it was bequeathed. You were all your mothers children and they both your brothers .
I dont think I would have enjoyed the benefits it gave me unless I divided it into 3 equal parts .

I would split the money in thirds and give each of your brothers’ their share. Surely anyone who makes a will in favour of just one sibling must know it will cause problems. I’m surprised your brothers didn’t challenge the will in the first place as it appears they would have had grounds in that you and your mother had not been in contact for 20 years. Also if your brothers have children why should only one set of grandchildren benefit and not the others.

Many years ago, I was in an almost similar situation. I left home to live with my father and stepmother, leaving my 3 younger brothers to live with my mum. There had always been problems between her and I and I'd had enough. Fast forward twenty or so years, I had two young sons, divorced, working part-time, little money coming in. My father was in touch with my brothers but they always moaned about not having enough money. Despite me definitely not having enough money, I never moaned to him or anyone about it. Every now and then, he'd send me a 'wage' packet with a few quid in - to help out. When he died, none of us got anything. It all went to my stepmother. She did say to me that had she died within 3 months or something, everything would have come to me, the house, cars, the business, everything. I made the mistake (we learn from them, hopefully) of mentioning this to my mother at some point. She was livid with me, telling me how selfish I was and that it would have been my moral duty to see that my brothers were given a share of everything. As I hadn't actually received anything, it was a pointless argument, but it made me realise how, inadvertently, trouble can be caused by parents not being fair with their children, regardless of what their circumstances are. Had my father's estate come to me, I would have sold his house, the cars, the business and split the money 4 ways between me and my 3 brothers, making sure that our mother was comfortable as well. I would seriously think very carefully about what to leave and give or not give if you have siblings because resentment can last a lifetime.

Loulou31 it reads that you all three inherited cash in equal shares , so whatever your brothers did with their money whether they squandered or saved was not your problem, equally your third of the inheritance was nothing to do with them , you saved yours for your children and your grandchildren , enjoy your part share with your husband and family and let your adult brothers sort themselves out .. they are not little children any more!!

My mother's will, made soon after my father's death, had certain stipulations depending on whether my brother or I were still living with her. At the time he was living with her and I lived at the other end of the country and we were both single without children. By the time she died many years later we had both been married, had children who were young adults and the will left everything equally. At the time the will was made she showed it to both of us, explaining the inequalities that might occur so there were no misunderstandings.

At various times she helped us both out financially and I don't know if there were inequalities in that help or not, but that was her choice. On one occasion when my car died leaving me struggling to get to work she bought me one. I initially told her not to, as I knew I couldn't afford to pay her back, but her response was 'It's not a loan, it's a gift - just don't tell your brother!'. I know at different times she helped him out but don't know if they were loans or gifts.

I would advise any parent who intends to leave things unequally to explain their reasons in order to reduce the chances of a family rift. Sadly in your case this wasn't done, leaving you to feel that maybe you owe your brother(s) something. As others have said though, your mother made her will as she did for reasons best known to her. You should not feel guilty having inherited what you did, as it was her decision. The money is now yours to do with as you wish. If you are concerned that a sibling is in difficulties then you could help out if you can afford it, but you need to judge if his moaning about money is because of a real shortage, or if it is an attempt to guilt trip you. You are under no moral obligation to hel him so only do it if you want to, not because you feel pressured.

My granddaughter aged 19 is always asking for money which she wastes on takeaways, expensive clothes, top of the range mobiles, etc etc. Her brother aged 21 never asks for money, they are both in similar housing and job situations so it proves that some people are kind givers and others are selfish takers. Just human nature, never been any different.

Your mother left the money to you. Her decision, her responsibility. Case closed. You give money to your brother and I suspect that you'll be opening up a route for him to continue bending your ear for more. Responsible adult hood is about independence including financial independence.