Noisy neighbor - that's me!

I really feel for you. Nobody likes confrontation and upset especially in and around you home your own personal space. Its upsetting for both parties. I work in a reception class and quite often nursery class. Our nursery children are 3. They soon learn rules and expectations. We have a rule "walking feet indoors" and to be fair they all do conform. Maybe you could use this too! Even if just from a safety point running indoors has its risks falls and furniture for one. How bout setting up indoor activities- reading, colouring, glueing and sticking maybe make some salt dough one day. Theres lots of indoor activities that can be done and if all else fails could you put something interesting on the TV pepper pig and snuggle on the sofa. Even if you only mange to have an hour every afternoonwhere he's quieter im sure that would be appreciated. Its not easy for any of us during these times everything that niggles becomes magnified. Just do your best its all any of us can do right now.

Chewbacca

Silvertwigs

What bubble is that you mention, there was suppose to be no indoor mixing.

If your grandchild is seriously ill, please be mindful and follow rules rather than find ways round the rules.

Silvertwigs surely you know that people who live alone are allowed to be in a bubble with one other family by now? And why are you suggesting that sluttygran is ^ trying to find ways around the rules^? She lives alone, is disabled and her daughter, in who's bubble she is in, calls daily to help her. Please explain your comment.

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

The OP has carpets, rugs and the children wear slipper socks.

Where has this idea that she has wooden floors come from?

friends we had lived in a flat under a family, they have learnt that a carpet works wonders, wooden floors do not

I’ve never actually lived in a downstairs flat or any for that matter, I would imagine like other posters have said you would hear everything, but I think you are trying your best sluttygran, I wouldn’t be sending your neighbour flowers though or anything! When you say your neighbour doesn’t like children around: that’s not your fault! I think I would try and get your little grandson to curb his running around a bit less, hard I know, they are generally into everything, you have stated you have had numerous complaints about your vacuum cleaning and washing machine noise,what does she expect you to do! If you live alone then they can’t be on much! It sounds as though she’s ill, I would carry on supporting your dd etc, I’m afraid this is how it’s going to be, you have to live your life

Hetty58.
Have you any idea how mean minded and bitter you sound? I doubt you have a good word to say for anybody. You strike me as being the neighbour from hell!

For the couple of miserable posters who seem to think OP is breaking covid rules: ANY single person household can form a support bubble with ONE other household of any size. For the purposes of covid regulations these two households (bubble) are treated as one single household and can mix without restrictions. OP as a single person household has formed a support bubble with her daughter and family - this is perfectly fine. Not sure if some people missed the fact that the OP is DISABLED and needs some assistance from her daughter every day - the fact that she is also providing emotional support to her daughter is just a nice bonus.

My husband and I have an elderly friend/neighbour who lives alone and we are his support bubble. We mix freely whenever we like - as is allowed by the rules - although we do all make sure to be exceptionally careful when any of us has to go to a shop or to collect prescriptions. I cannot see what else the OP can do to satisfy her neighbour - some noise in the afternoon for a short period is hardly unreasonable given the muffling effect of rugs and carpets. We have upstairs neighbours with three children - we don't complain about their noise and they don't complain about our occasional fondness for loud music (not late at night obviously). Live and let live - there is no escaping noise when you live in flats.

The neighbour is just being ridiculous. My aunt lived next to someone who complained every time their newborn cried. Even though my aunt took the baby as far away from the adjoining wall as possible and never left them to cry. The neighbour then took to waking the family up at 3am by banging on the wall - completely bizarre behaviour. Some people are just extraordinarily intolerant of other people’s presence in any from.

As for the comments about support bubbles. OP is following the rules. People complaining about those following the rules need to get their noses out of the lives of those who are law abiding & stop sucking lemons because they think the rules should be different. My severely disabled son visits us every day. He’s allowed to under the rules and would become very distressed if he didn’t. If neighbours were to complain about us following the rules I would be pretty unimpressed.

OP Nobody said you shouldn't have your Grandchildren to tea but be a kind considerate neighbour and insist your Grandson does not run around inside, easy and simple but you obviously can't or won't do that.

OP has carpets, rugs, slippers, does not have a seeing machine. Suppose instead of her the flat was lived in by a family with children, the family would be entitled to live normally. Some people complain about unreasonable things, a friend had to move as her neighbour was really nasty about the normal children's noise her 2 and 3 year old made playing in the garden, not shouting just happy children noises.
There are many noises through the day in most areas, cars, lorries, police cars. If someone needs dead silence maybe earplugs would be an idea or white noise
I manage to sleep through the noise of heavy trains speeding up and down the mainline at the bottom of my garden and normal car noises. The only things that have woken me up has been phones, knocks on the door and next door doing noisy DIY early in the mirning

The OP has carpets and rugs Suelou

Perhaps she suffers with bad tinnitus hence the machine noises.Suggest it to the daughter.

I'm sure the op is equally glad that you don't.

I’m glad I don’t live downstairs from you. It must be a nightmare. You admit that your GS is boisterous and runs around. You’re obviously in denial about the noise from your flat. There’s always two sides to a story. In my daughter’s flat (owned) she is not allowed to have hardwood floors because of noise. The management company do look into complaints about noise.

Peasblossom

When people post about the OP being entitled to a life and to do as she wants in her own flat, I just wonder if they’d take the same view of three hours trumpet practice, a non-stop barking dog or a neighbour that took up woodwork for three hours everyday ?

I worked with children, so their noise doesn’t bother me, in fact I chose a house next to a school because I like the playground sounds. But one mans meat is another nabs poison?

I’m also quite amused by suggestions that the neighbour might like to spend time with the children or that she’s jealous and wishes she could have children to visit her. Imagine if your neighbour played heavy metal every day and when you objected, she thought the perfect solution would be to take you to a concert where you could enjoy it close up ?

I’d likely be annoyed, but yes, I’d agree they have the right to do it. Why wouldn’t I?

If your neighbour needs a completely silent life then she is living in the wrong place; a flat with others possibly living above, below and next to you is never going to be completely silent, and it does sound as if she is suffering unduly because of her own super sensitive nature. This is evidenced by her accusing you of sewing etc. when it is not happening. It is perfectly reasonable that your family visit, and that your GS runs about - children do! He is gone by six, and you are not letting him play with drums or a trumpet. I feel sorry for your neighbour and her problems, but I do feel sorry for you too because you are doing nothing wrong. If she 'calls the police' there will be no grounds for a complaint, and she might get some useful advice. Both children next door to my house play in the garden, being quite noisy, until about six when the weather permits, but they are happy and healthy and it's good to hear children laughing and enjoying themselves. Your neighbour clearly needs help, but not by your living like a recluse and doing nothing in fear of offending her.

One of the sad effects of lockdown is that it has made people a lot less tolerant of others.
Normal, family living sounds, during the day, are not something to be complaining about. If a person needs a nap during the day then that is their problem, not their neighbours'.
In the British Isles we don't live in a culture where a siesta is the norm. Our normal is to be up and around and busy during the day, relaxing in the evening and sleeping at night. Any deviation from this is the problem of the person deviating and not anyone else's.
Carry on OP, you're doing nothing wrong. You're disabled and need a carer to visit, your daughter is your carer. She has to bring the children with her at the moment as the nurseries/schools are closed for whatever reason. You are not breaking any lockdown restrictions, you can relax knowing that your conscience is clear.
If your neighbour needs to sleep during the day, she needs to get earplugs or put on some white noise or some soothing music or whatever it takes to take her mind off the normal sounds of everyday living going on around her and allow her to do so. It is not your problem. Please don't let her, her daughter, or any of the other grans on here tell you otherwise.

Cathy21

My partner and I are both 78 and we had a young neighbour complaining we were disturbing her with our love making, even in the early hours!!!!!

Brilliant Cathy21 long may it continue

My DH has bad hearing and won’t wear his hearing aids especially after I’ve gone to bed. The noise from the TV is terrible but fortunately the neighbours have not complained (yet). He doesn’t listen so I have to wear earplugs. We live in a ground floor flat. My upstairs neighbour does bang about a little and plays his music quite loudly on occasion but he’s relatively quiet at night so it’s a bit of give and take.

Interestingly, his sister complains bitterly every night about the loud music in the flat above hers. The council have been round and say there is no problem. It’s been suggested to her that she has tinnitus but she won’t have it but won’t have a test at the hearing clinic.

If you are not making undue noise, especially at night please don’t let your neighbour upset or bully you. Older people can be quite unreasonable IMO in refusing to check out their own health. Young children have very little volume control so just enjoy their company and try not to worry too much about your neighbour

I’d probably say nothing and let her get on with calling the police.
You are not being unreasonable, and any attempt to be kind (flowers/chocolates) or to tell her your schedule, will feed her entitlement and belief that you are in the wrong.

What would happen the first time you made noise outside of those hours?

You all live in flats. Obviously don’t make more noise, but you are just as entitled to use your flat as she is.

Silvertwigs

What bubble is that you mention, there was suppose to be no indoor mixing.

If your grandchild is seriously ill, please be mindful and follow rules rather than find ways round the rules.

Silvertwigs surely you know that people who live alone are allowed to be in a bubble with one other family by now? And why are you suggesting that sluttygran is ^ trying to find ways around the rules^? She lives alone, is disabled and her daughter, in who's bubble she is in, calls daily to help her. Please explain your comment.

Sounds like she has Titinnus,tinkling sound in the ears.You
sound to be a great Mum and Grandma,lots of good advice above,Good Luck,soon be Spring

Let her complain to the police. If you are not doing anything other than normal living then it’s her problem. The council can send a ‘noise abatement’ officer round and measure the noise you make. Then you will find out if it’s you or her who is the problem. But my guess she’s just someone who likes to moan. Don’t let her affect your life or every day living.

What bubble is that you mention, there was suppose to be no indoor mixing.

If your grandchild is seriously ill, please be mindful and follow rules rather than find ways round the rules.

Live and let live. Let them phone the police. Noise is awful. But a child running round for a couple of hours and a hoover and washing machine is nothing. I had people upstairs who played loud music and ran and jumped on the floor because they could. This went on 24/7. The police will eventually warn them for harassing you. You sound like a wonderful thoughtful neighbour. I do emphasise with anyone in a downstairs flat. But you have to be able to live normally.