Addressing people in wheelchairs

It is strange how things have not moved on at all in some areas. I worked in Social Care 20 years ago and we were trying to address problems like this then. Here we are still in the same place. There are pockets of excellence regarding access and adaptations but few and far between. People with a learning disability are treated in much the same way, an assumption made that they cannot offer or even have an opinion of their own. I have to say here as well that medical personnel were just as guilty of this as others, used to make my blood boil.

If I ever find myself using a wheelchair, I plan to take inspiration from my granny. She was stopped by police for being drunk in charge of her electric wheelchair after they observed her zigzagging down the middle of the high street singing lustily after a boozy lunch with her girlfriends.

There’s some interesting sweeping generalisations going on here and, given the topic, it’s ironic they have ignored the contribution of the one wheelchair user ???

It is astonishing and really disgusting. I don’t think it is quite that bad here because I think most medical staff have training about not being judgemental and talking down to people. The trouble seems to be that many just accept this sort of treatment but it is definitely worth calling it out if only for others.

I find the trick is to break eye contact with the person & then the they lower their eyes to your companion.
It is astonishing in these times of equality & political correctness certain groups are still overlooked; particularly in the health service.

It gets no better if you are in a powered Wheelchair or a small Boot Scooter, whilst some people mean well and just want to genuinely help, some believe that you have left you Brains at home and are totally incapable of driving your chariot, should only drive it in the Gutter, or should sit patiently waiting to pass by them whilst they gossip to their friend and totally block the pavement by not leaving you any space to get by them!
I have also had people rush round a blind corner before unaware of what exactly could be approaching from the opposite direction, and fall over me because they could not stop intime and lost their balance. Then the abuse and foul language really shows they have no manners, and they think that it was entirely your fault for simply being there!

I wanted to get a couple of fly swatters to fix to the wheels of my chariot. I couldn’t believe how many people just walked into it!

I have a little insight into this. Some years ago I broke my ankle and could not use either a frame nor crutches, so I purchased a small basic wheelchair. My OH and I were amazed at the people who spoke to him, rather than me, even when I was paying at, say, supermarket checkouts.

I also found overwhelmingly that women in supermarkets etc were lovely to me, but men looked right through me!

When I’m out in my wheelchair with DH and we go into anywhere ( not so much atm obviously) I always speak first , never wait to be spoken to, start the conversation and thus take the initiative - I don’t wait to be addressed first. Maybe you could get your mother to do this? Once the conversation is started, then that’s it, obviously then who is to be spoken to. Quite frankly, it’s the practical aspects of being out in a wheelchair that are the real problem so often.

I broke my leg 10 yrs ago and was in a wheelchair for a few weeks. In a cafe my DH was literally asked "Does she take sugar". I couldn't believe it. I now make a point of smiling and speaking to people in wheelchairs.

i worked as a PA for a lady, nothing wrong with her brain, just her legs, she used an electric chair if we went out in our local area but a manual if we got on a bus, the drivers would talk to me and i just said...she is the one with the bus pass, in shops they always asked me what she wanted, i would laugh it off by saying i am not a mind reader or the supermarket...sorry i am not paying for that, some people would speak to her as if she was deaf, we would look at each other and i would say A you did not tell me you went deaf over the weekend....although i worked for her we got to me really good friends and still keep in touch.....we both have the same silly sense of humour, she never got angry about it, humour always worked best, hospitals can be the worse,i told them i am just the manual labourer A is the patien.

Oh your poor mum Beswitched (love your name by the way!) sitting there. And there she was, dressed nicely and made up to. Well done to you for letting a pause develop, thereby giving your mum the opportunity to speak for herself. A thoughtful way indeed of dealing with the situation.

Yes, I refuse to insult my mother by answering for her. Today, when people said 'does she....' I just stayed silent and looked down at mum and they began to address her.

Yes it does seem to be a problem... I think the best thing to do is to just say, oh it’s ok you can ask (Name of person] she / he is perfectly capable of speaking for themselves. Best wishes

Terrible isn't it? My Mum used to call it the "does she take sugar?" syndrome when it kept happening to us!