AIBU to think this is Cyber Stalking?

I think I would seriously consider moving home. I know your home may have strong loving memories for you but speaking from experience it could become a prison for you due to these people.

Maybe they have mental health problems. I would just ignore them.

I don't think you are being over sensitive..their weard.

This is seriously weird. He's interfering with your life. What about your other neighbours - do they have this problem too? British laws are woefully inadequate in this area. This is not just normal interest but really creepy. I would definitely try waving at him next time to let him know you're aware of this behaviour. You expect this when you're young and good to look at but want a bit of decorum when you're older! When I was young I shared a lot of different flats with other girls and I remember one where the man next door used to expose himself when we sunbathed outside. One of my flatmates was an Aussie girl who used to take a whistle in the garden with her and every time he appeared at the window and did his thing she'd give a good blast on it until he disappeared!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I think the binoculars idea was rather good. I expect these two people are just a bit odd. I wouldn't like being watched but I think I would try to ignore it.

Horrible ...I have to agree with Ellen Vannin .....when he's not looking (in the dark ha ha ) .....why not bury a plastic arm with the hand sticking out ....make sure he can see it ....stand back and see what happens .............or invite the local Naturist group for a BBQ ......hard to ignore him ..higher fencing a good idea but it may blow down in the wind (on his side perhaps !) and would be expensive. Trees also, but they take many years to grow .....sit in the garden with binoculars trained on him (but check with authorities this might be illegal ...but you could say you were birdwatching ....have a list beside you with birds on it, some marked with a tick....ask for advice from a community police officer as to what legally you can do...or what about a pergola in the garden (you can get those that you can 'pop up' when you need ...so you can sit out there without him gazing at you (get one with the 'curtains; on it ....you can then place it wherever you want, to sit in peace in the sun ............make sure you have a video at the front and back of the house so if he ever creeps onto your property you have evidence .................must be horrible ! good luck

Thanks everyone. You've put my mind at rest. I going to take your advice and keep a diary. They are not the sort of people you can talk to or have a laugh with. They are weird. The gazebo idea is a good one and I'll follow this up. I glad that looking me up on Linkedin is normal though but I've decided to leave my account deleted. My neighbours do make good neighbourhood guard dogs though and I hadn't thought of it that way. I don't really want to move as my house has so many memories of my lovely husband who recently passed away. It's comforting to know it isn't me and I needed independent advice to reassure me that I wasn't being over sensitive. When you are in such a situation sometimes you are not sure. Thanks again to you all. You are wonderful people. Thanks. I'll keep you all updated- watch this space!

Very disconcerting and very creepy. It would make me feel very uncomfortable. Some years back our then teenage daughters wouldn't sunbathe in the garden because our next door neighbour would look down on them from an upstairs window - he turned out to be a paedophile. This is not normal behaviour. Yes, glance out of your window if you hear a noise but not prolonged or behind curtains. I would make it known that I know what they are doing.

They are looking out of their windows I look out of mine all the time especially during Covid times and shielding Linkedin profiles are there to be looked at They aren't actually doing you any harm

If it's making you feel uncomfortable (it would make me and I'm sure most people feel that way), gather your evidence and talk to someone, police or whoever. They seem to be taking an unhealthy interest. Perhaps they have nothing better to do, but that doesn't give them the right to invade your privacy in this way. Are you friendly with the neighbours on the other side? Ask them if they've had the same experience as that would strengthen your 'case' and make you feel that you're not alone. We had neighbours watching us once and getting up to all sorts of intimidating behaviour. Because of damage being done to our property we had to put up CCTV. It escalated into other things and, after we moved (because of all this) we found out he had mental health issues. I think we realised this while we were still living there and there was nothing we could do. Even had the police visit, but this was for damage to our property. Hopefully, the waving at them idea may stop their weird behaviour. You have a right to enjoy your home and garden.

I would find it creepy if the man did not have a wife.

As he does and she apparently stares at you too, I consider them nosey and rude, rather than creepy.

However, they are entitled to stand looking out of their windows, so there is not very much you can do about it.

My paternal great-grandma would have put her tongue out at them. Perhaps you should consider it, or holding up a notice with
Mind your own business, nosey parker
written in block capitals on it.

You are entitled to privacy in your own house and garden and to pointing out that you find them rude.

I would put a row of conifers or evergreen trees up which blocks his view and don't engage with him.

seastar - put a note through your neighbours' front door saying that you're aware they are watching you every time you go into the garden and you find this uncomfortable so you will be installing a camera at the bottom of your garden that will enable you to check whether you are being watched. There's nothing wrong with that. If they appear as you say each time you go out you can take that footage to the police and ask the local bobby to visit to explain that this is not only not normal behaviour but it is making you feel vulnerable. As far as your linked-in profile goes, you put that out there to attract interest so there's nothing you can do about that. It's important that you accept your fear of your neighbour's potential aggressiveness as no excuse for not tackling the odd behaviour. By ignoring it you're enabling its continuation.

I've had three different neighbours who irrationality took issue with trivial things. In these cases, I deliberately went out of my way to be friendly and polite and things were smoothed over. I don't think your neighbours are in the same category. I don't think I'd wave at them or ask if they want anything/need help. If you know other neighbours well, ask whether they've had similar issues.
It's certainly rather odd but not antisocial behaviour or cyber stalking.
I would keep a record of any incidents and tell a friend or neighbour about it in case it escalates or they start accusing you of something.
Unless it turns into something much worse, there's nothing the council or police can do either. I hope you can manage to ignore it or move house if that's an option.

I had something similar about 30 years ago. Whenever I was in the garden one of them would be watching me from an upstairs window. I just ignored it tbh, I assumed they were lonely and bored. They hardly ever went out except the weekly shop etc and he was quite ill. Later on he became much more unwell and they'd call on me if he had a fall etc. and when he was hospitalised I ran her to and from the hospital until he passed. So I think I handled it right, I could have had a go but what would be the point? She later moved away to live with her eldest son because she felt too lonely on her own. So I would just wave and acknowledge them and see what happens.

They may be looking out of their windows for many hours a day and look at you when in the garden as it is something new to look at. There are many people, some on here, that have little to do and like to watch the comings and goings of their neighbours. In normal times people-watching is done from an outdoor seating area.

Linkedin is not private or secret, it is for others to see. I have looked at my neighbours' social media out of interest or just call it nosiness.

I can imagine that you're already feeling quite uncomfortable, However, I would definitely not only wave at them, but also pop round to say hello (don't go inside even if rules allow it by then) under the pretext of them perhaps feeling a bit fed up being isolated due to the virus etc. You could even say you've noticed them looking out of their windows and thought a chat might cheer them up. This is how I feel you might deflect their behaviour. It's a bit like if you smile at a bully, they're likely to back off and not waste their time. But.... if it made no difference within a couple of weeks, I would be speaking with the police, because I feel this in not appropriate behaviour. Good luck!

It is most unnerving for you but as many have said, relax, it isn't you, it's them

Some people are very territorial and have to play vigilante around their property in order to feel safe. In the past they were called (and maybe are now?) 'curtain twitchers'

Surely this is an anxiety problem (for them)

Try to think of them as security guards for the neighbourhood!

A cheery wave, if you can muster it, is a good way to start. Then perhaps take a 'rest' on a chair facing their windows as you 'admire' your guttering!

That would seriously bug me. It is a bit creepy but hard to know what to do. You could try brazening it out and waving madly at them every time you see them peeking. May freak them out enough that they rein back on their weird behaviour?!

Ok, here's the Plan. Yu see a curtain twitch... and so you stop what you are doing, and stand there looking in the direction of the said curtain, arms akimbo. Then, you turn s-l-o-w-l-y in the direction of the other curtain, whether or not it has moved, and take the same stance. They creep you out, and you return the favour, for free. If they open the window to yell at you, you just ask sweetly, "... and how did you know I was here?"

Gosh, I just thought that maybe lockdowns have made this couple more isolated or lonely. When people have little to keep them occupied, watching local life may be their only interest?
Looking at people’s online profiles/social media is perfectly normal. That’s what it’s there for. I defy anyone to say they’ve never looked at another person’s profile out of vague curiosity!
If these people are simply looking out of their windows, are they really threatening? Or even creepy?

I'm curious about how you know it was the man from next door who has looked at your profile on Linkedin?
I get notifications but it doesn't tell me who....as others have said it is a public networking forum.
They do sound very strange and I can understand how uncomfortable it makes you feel...in fact I'd suggest it's almost verging on harassment / stalking! "Whilst there is no strict legal definition of 'stalking', section 2A (3) of the PHA 1997 sets out examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking. For example, following a person, watching or spying on them or forcing contact with the victim through any means, including social media.

The effect of such behaviour is to curtail a victim's freedom, leaving them feeling that they constantly have to be careful. In many cases, the conduct might appear innocent ( if it were to be taken in isolation), but when carried out repeatedly so as to amount to a course of conduct, it may then cause significant alarm, harassment or distress to the victim."

I'm thinking of the continual watching here....I'd start keeping notes and it may help you if you spoke with someone. There is a helpline who you can chat with about stalking etc....just running it through may give a different perspective or give you some coping strategies tel:08088020300
Nobody should feel "invaded".

seastar

Just want to run this past you all in case I'm being over sensitive.

The man next door has always been a bit creepy. He watches me when I'm in the garden weeding from behind a curtain in his upstairs window. He'll do this all the time I'm in the garden and it makes me feel uneasy. His wife watches me from behind the front room curtains. They are intensely private and they hate it when someone knows what they are doing. I can't confront them as they have become extremely aggressive in the past and they don't talk to anyone. If they see me they hide until I have gone. My husband died about 2 years ago and the lady next door gave me a big hug but now it has gone back to normal.

I received a message from Linkedin which said that my profile had been looked at. Usually it is people I don't know but yesterday I discovered that it was the bloke next door. I've deleted my profile now. I feel invaded especially as the man is very creepy and watches what I am doing. He has always done this and his wife has always watched from the front. I find it creepy. Am I being over sensitive?

Have you ever wondered that the wife might be the subject of abuse and finds it hard to communicate?
The linkedin enquiry might be her not him!.
I think deleting your account is going too far, as I imagine that you can set your exposure to "friends only", which would mean he cannot "snoop"

If you put information on social media do not be surprised when people look at it!