My grandaughter visits her step sister not me we are in the same town

I think it was unkind of your daughter to tell you. The suggestions above might help............

Oh dear.

I'm sure that this is a situation many of us will recognise. You get the chance to see someone you haven't seen for ages, but you know that if you take it you will be castigated by others who live nearby, so you either fit them in too, making the visit into an expedition, or you put it off, so you don't get to see anyone.

I don't think you are being petty, and I'm very sorry about the loss of your husband, but I do think that commenting on your granddaughter's movements is rather controlling. How did you know she had visited the little girl? I would feel very uneasy if someone commented on what I was doing (particularly if they suggested that I should have been doing other things as well) and it might even make me block them from ways that they could see what I was up to. I think that at 22 I would have felt that even more strongly.

I also think that seeing it as her 'not bothering' to visit you is unfair. You don't know (I assume) what other calls she had on her time.

Maybe take a step back, and see it from her point of view? She might come to see you the next time she has a free afternoon - would you then want her to cut the visit short so that she could fit in a visit to her sister too?

It would have been kind of her to pop in to see you too, and I understand why you feel hurt, especially in your circumstances. It’s only been a short while since your husband died. Are you close to her?
Maybe you could have all met where the step sister lives?
Maybe her mother shouldn’t have reported this back to you.
I hope she gets in touch soon. I am sorry about your dh.

It might have come across that way if you worded it like that. Better to say something like "I would love to see you. How about a coffee in the garden?" Without mentioning the step sister. It's lovely she sees her sister though. Sorry for your loss and I'm not surprised you feel a bit low and lonely. It is not very long since your husband died. Could you tell your daughter you are feeling sad and alone?

Why don’t you send a message straight away explaining that you are so missing the company and said it in the heat of the moment. It’s quite understandable that you felt the pain, and I am so sorry for your loss especially at this hard time.
The stress of these times however are showing in everyone and I have myself fallen foul of my family by a throw away comment...it’s been months and I am trying to mend it. Don’t let yours go another day ❤️

why cant you visit her instead?or maybe all three of you can meet up?