AIBU - Friend borrowing car

Apologies for all the typos in my responses.

Whatdaysit - not there isn't more to it. I am sure H would lend the car to anyone who asked. Yes, he is that stupid !!!

Whatdayisit

I think posters are thinking you are unreal not knowing about car insurance because you haven't made it clear that you aren't a driver.
I am assuming you aren't a driver saying this is a spare car. So do you feel this woman is controlling your husband a bit or your husband likes the attention off this woman when she asks to borrow this car.

She won't be insured. Laws have changed - you can't drive other cars third party any more on your own insurance and as previous posters have said she will be a named driver on her husbands car insurance.

I think you should be asking your husband what he thinks about the insurance situation.

Is there more too it OP?

I am a driver but I genuinely was not aware that she was not covered by insurance.

I have never driven any car other than ours and so have never needed to know this kind of thing. I am sure in the olden days you could drive another car if you were insured on your own car. Maybe I am mistaken.

As I have said in previous responses, my husband likes to be the generous good guy - living me to be the wicked witch

My husband has a very laissez faire to most things in life so I doubt if it has dawned on him about the insurance.

We will have the discussion over the weekend

Thank you all for your posts and your advice.

I don't normally see the friend midweek. I will post an update next week.

You are sending out mixed messages to your friend/neighbour. From her point of view she sees no problem- she just asks and is allowed the car every time! What's not to like about that arrangement! Perfect! Next time she asks just say in a friendly way that you were not sure how you stood insurance wise and had phoned to find out. Unfortunately they strongely advised you that it wasn't a good idea and in fact was illegal! Then say how sorry you are but that's the way it is. End of. Friendship still intact.

Oh heaven's, there are always takers in this world who think it is their god given right to do so, without any guilt or thought whatsoever. Like you, I have bent over backwards in my life to help friends and have learnt that the best friendships are the give and take, where there is balance. I have had my fingers burned by others who were purely takers. I am sure we all know the type of so called "friend" who when chatting, continually speak all about themselves, their families and ask nothing about your own. Sorry to say but I have ditched the taker friends as they are not really friends at all. Good luck, think you have to take a strong stance on this one x

Suggest as she need a car so often suggest you ask your son if he wants to sell it. Is it insured for your friend to drive?

Not sure why you have a spare car but why don't you offer to sell it to her?

NotSpaghetti

Meant to say, whatdayisit it's generally referred to as "DOC" (Driving other cars) - it's a clause on your policy that allows you to drive someone else’s car without being a named driver on their policy. It's often an add-on I think these days and not offered to under 25s.

I thought the law had changed and there wasn't third party only insurance any more i haven't been able to get it for a few years now.

Well whatever the situation this woman is not the main driver of her husbands car so wouldn't be covered. OP's husband would need to name her and that hasn't happened so they are breaking the law.
Which makes me mad still paying £50 a month insurance after 30 years of driving.

Some “ friends” really take the biscuit.
I had a ( so I thought) good friend whose car was in the garage.
As we had a “spare” car, it’s my husbands but he has a work van. He offered to lend it to the friend, her car ended up being in the garage for 5 or 6 weeks, so she had his all that time.
You could have knocked me down with a feather when hers was fixed and she returned his saying “ goodness I’m so relieved to get rid of this thing, it’s so heavy on fuel”
Think it must have been her driving style as my husband always thought it was extremely economical.

Now that so many people have been kind enough to give advice it would be nice if the OP got back to them.

Just borrowing a couple of times may be okay but not to continue for several months!
I assume it is you and your husband paying for the insurance and I assume that insurance is for either a named driver or any driver, that can make it quite expensive. Ha this "friend" offered to pay towards the insurance and any extra running costs ?
If you don't need this car otherwise, I would get rid of it.
If her husband is adamant that they are not buying another car, how does he expect his wife to get from Ato B or can they not do what many other couples do that have to share a car - the other partner has to act as taxi driver by driving the husband to and from work on the days that a car is needed, or the husband has to arrange a lift.
If your husband really doesn't want to stop saying yes, hide the car keys and say they have been "lost" after asking several times, this friend may finally get the idea that she has out lasted your goodwill !

One thing a lot of you are missing is the its the OP's husband who is being asked, not her.
My husband is also a soft touch when someone asks to borrow things and won't tell even white lies.
It looks as though you are the one who must catch her on her own and say you have decided to SORN the car as you don't use it.

Next time her husband is adamant about not buying a new car why don’t you just say to him ‘no, I wouldn’t want to buy a new car either if I had neighbours that constantly lent me theirs’ You are enabling this unreasonable behaviour by your inability to say no. If it were me, and as you cannot seem to say no, I would be tempted to ask them for some contribution towards the cost of running the car and I am sure that you would find that they would ask you less frequently.

good idea to sell the car as the money would be useful and it would stop this woman from taking the P!

I hadn't picked up that OP isn't a driver herself - apologies.

It's definitely been worth OP making this post then as she has now learnt the severity of the issue and the possible consequences.

Good luck OP and hope you get this issue sorted soon x

Meant to say, whatdayisit it's generally referred to as "DOC" (Driving other cars) - it's a clause on your policy that allows you to drive someone else’s car without being a named driver on their policy. It's often an add-on I think these days and not offered to under 25s.

You will be carrying a lot of responsibility here if anything dire happens - if you are allowing her to drive you should be fully aware of the insurance situation, and could find yourself in a lot of trouble if this woman has an accident. If this couple have only one car it's likely she isn't covered to drive yours.
It used to be the case that if you were the named insured person, with fully comprehensive insurance on your own car, you could drive any other car with the owner's permission but with third party, fire and theft cover only. That has changed - you often now need to check with your insurance to see if that is the case.

Whatdayisit - it's not universally true that you can't drive another's car on your own insurance. My husband and I both have policies that allow this but we are only 3rd party on another vehicle.

As I said before, if you are a named driver on another person's policy you have the benefits of that policy but not the "drive other car" part.

ExaltedWombat

I find it disturbing how many people are suggesting telling a lie. You can't ALL be politicians!

I think posters are thinking you are unreal not knowing about car insurance because you haven't made it clear that you aren't a driver.
I am assuming you aren't a driver saying this is a spare car. So do you feel this woman is controlling your husband a bit or your husband likes the attention off this woman when she asks to borrow this car.

She won't be insured. Laws have changed - you can't drive other cars third party any more on your own insurance and as previous posters have said she will be a named driver on her husbands car insurance.

I think you should be asking your husband what he thinks about the insurance situation.

Is there more too it OP?

Quick note: if she is driving your car without a specific insurance policy in place, she is committing a pretty serious criminal offence.

The minimum penalty is £300 and six penalty points. Note: unlike a minor speeding conviction, this WILL show up on a criminal record and indeed a criminal records check. The maximum penalty can include an unlimited fine, disqualification form driving, and most pertinently for you, seizure and destruction of the car used. She is using it regularly with you the owner's permission, which would be viewed as aggravating the offence.

Please make sure she is insured for her sake and yours if this is going to continue.

I find it disturbing how many people are suggesting telling a lie. You can't ALL be politicians!

Your friend is most likely a named driver on her husband’s insurance policy (if the car they own is his) in which case she is definitely NOT insured to drive any other car.

Just sell it.

I cannot believe that you are acting so stupidly and innocently. You could so easily be in trouble with the police allowing an uninsured driver use your car. Stop from now, imagine if your neighbour had an accident as an uninsured driver and killed the occupants of another car. How would you feel as the person who allowed it to happen ? I am amazed that you knowingly allow this. Others have suggested all sorts of excuses to not lend your car. No need for excuses, just be honest, say no it’s not legal. Also if it’s your sons car and the insurance is in his name is he allowing the use by your neighbour, does he even know ?