to think that my DIL uses too many cleaning products?

I think the overuse of cleaning products is awful
I use zoflora in a spray to wipe down bins, handles etc as it kills Covid19 viruses
Instagram sites which promote a different product for every occasion are just marketing ploys- and the amount of product that’s used is awful- all ending up in our water system.
I use Method products, but unfortunately they don’t tackle covid, but along with hot soapy water are fine.
Enzyme based cleaners are good too - sprays like Mr Muscle etc just give me migraines.
There are lots of natural based cleaning products on Amazon x

You could say something like you’ve started to use natural cleaning products and you’re amazed at the range and it makes you feel good to know you’re doing your bit for the environment, and your own health.
I get all mine from a company called The Natural Collection.

I was shocked to learn that some if these chemical products can cause COPD. Ditto scented candles.

Don’t spoil your relationship it’s not your place to comment she will make her own mind up and at some point may choose to use less/different products.

OMG

I can’t believe people are saying the grandchild’s health is none of the OP’s business

I think your dil is trying so hard to show you what a good wife & mother she is to your son & gc
When she would LOVE to lie down for a nap whilst baby is asleep there she is cleaning. Why not bite your lip, offer to take baby a walk whilst she naps - or let them both nap and you clean? I understand your worries but that way you can open doors whilst cleaning and she won’t know. Or bring your own cleaning items?

flopen, I would say: ‘do you mind if I open the window?’

Then, after watching for a moment, ask, ‘Would the cleaners you’re using be good for my worktops? I’ve been using the same thing for years but I’m not sure it’s as good as your choices.’

I would also ignore the catty remarks from those who sound more like touchy DILs than Wise Grandmas. Your concerns for your grandson’s health are valid and more important than keeping your DIL sweet. However, with a well chosen approach, you can successfully communicate without anyone getting upset.

Please let us know the outcome and good luck, whatever you decide.

You might be right about the cleaning products but there will be far more harm in the long run if you jinx your relationship with your DIL by interfering. Having to say your piece might well result in your seeing less of the DGC.

How about asking if you can open a window when you find it too overpowering , and say you find it gives you a headache? It might give her pause to think? Or read the label?

I DONT think sneezing on demand, or giving a sneeze whilst shes cleaning just to prove a point whilst theres coronavirus still around is a very good idea- and it might get you banned from their house next time.??

Depends what kind of 'sprays' your on about too, i use the 'pump' or 'squirter' kind, the Dettol ones as they help with antibac/coronavirus, but aren't harmful to my sons asthma like the aerosol sprays are- i use pump type or gel block air fresheners in loos too.Not aerosol.Try buy her the method cleaners though, with less harmful ingredients, and she may start using them regularly.Also suggest she opens a window when cleaning, "so the germs/dust have a way out" she may take that as less criticism than anything else.Aside from that, don't keep pushing it.

I sympathise with this. I use a lot of cleaning products as I'm a bit OCD where cleaning is concerned. But at the same time I do stress about inhaling chemicals. I always make sure I have windows open and try not to breathe spray in. And I keep my cats well away when I use spray cleaners. If you have a decent relationship I would mention it once. Just like "Have you read any of the things about some stuff in a lot of spray cleaners being bad to inhale, especially for children? It's a bit worrying really. Perhaps you could open a window?" If she dismisses it, then leave it. But like you I would worry too, I'm afraid.

Difficult one ..... of course you don’t want to be the interfering MIL , however I’ve read about the cancer links to various home cleaning products and I've def altered what products I use because of it. Why not google the information and then buy her a box of natural cleaning products and just say you don’t want to be critical or pushy however ..... then just explain your reasons.

BlueBelle

Good grief why do mother in laws look for trouble It’s really not your business if she stands on her head and does the soft shoe shuffle while cleaning her house
You cannot live her life, your way it just isn’t the way to go She’s got her way you’ve got yours

Too right!

At least she cleans !!

I’m sure the OP is glad you’re not her DIL because you sounds like a pompous ass. The OP is seeking constructive practical advice, but you and many others simply criticise.

I know my DDs use ecological products so don't have that problem, but my DD did introduce me to Method cleaning spray and another system called Koh. If your DD is visiting you why don't you introduce her to similar products?

Is it possible that she cleans the house when you are there to babysit, so she has both hands free and does not have to keep checking on the child, and that she also does extra chores to impress you? Can you take the baby out in the garden / terrace / roof /yard while the spraying is going on? Can you sneeze on demand? Also - her house - her rules. Say nothing.

*Floped

Agree with poshpaws. Flooded your response to us on here tells us all we need to know.
Leave your DIL to do what she feels is right, her house, her baby. Suggesting she doesn’t care about the baby’s health is plain nasty.
I hope you learn a few things from this thread and carry them forward into your relationship with your DIL.

I do completely understand your concern, spray cleaners can be awful and can get in your throat and there has been a big link between cleaning products and asthma and eczema BUT we’ve all be told to clean for our lives during COVID, also I remember being my first child home 35 years ago and was utterly paranoid about cleaning and sterilising, by the time child number 4 came along this had all changed.

I remember my lovely stepdaughter being on a cleaning frenzy, to the point of the utterly ridiculous when our grandson was born. Despite my misgivings I kept my opinions to myself and now he’s 6 he’s in the garden digging up worms and getting dirty and she’s totally relaxed!

Give her time, I’m with the others take a bottle of natural cleaning products around, preferably one you do use, and present it to her with a smile and say nothing ever again about her cleaning !

flopen

fair enough. Obviously I'm the only person concerned about the effects of chemicals on a baby's neurological system. How awful of me to be concerned about their health.

What a totally unneccessarily snarky reply. You asked - people gave you their honest and polite opinions (which by the way, I share) - and you come back all holier-than-thou. I'm very glad not to be your DIL.

I would say Wow that spray is strong is it good? Then say do u mind if I open the window a bit it's catching my throat?
BTW I have read research somewhere that using bleach only once a week can cause COPD in some people that are nonsmokers.

Be glad she's cleaning! Lots don't! How would you react if she wasn't, suggesting she's exposing the baby to germs?? Be grateful you're part of it's life, things could be a lot worse.

If you want her to change a better way is to turn up with whatever products you think are great, tell her they were BOGOF and you’re gifting one to her as you love it so much.

I suspect my MIL would love me to use more cleaning products. The assumption that I had to do everything the same as her was very damaging to our relationship. Boundaries are essential if you want to maintain a good relationship & commenting on cleaning is crossing a line.