to think that my DIL uses too many cleaning products?

Good god, don’t be that MIL, don’t say anything at all!

Lovelycuppa nailed it

Is the spray cleaning covid related flopen we have been bombarded with ads telling us to clean everything in sight. I share your concern as I used a well known spray in our shower cubicle and literally couldn't catch my breath

That could well be the case with Covid around sodapop

I guess I have to ask the OP how she would feel if her DIL came to her house and started criticising how she did things, perhaps said it was smelly and brought a can of air freshener to spray around? Or made remarks about how the OP has brought up her children in the past, saying she can see how the OP got it wrong.

I really don’t think being a grandma gives you a right to interfere and suggest how DIL should care for her family.
I think even bringing a couple of cleaning products could really sour things badly.

I wouldn’t do it with my daughter, let alone a DIL Dangerous ground.

My late husband had COPD, I couldn't use any kind of spray at all, and had to be careful of anything that could irritate his lungs - smelly candles especially.

flopen it’s not unreasonable to think your daughter-in-law uses too many cleaning sprays etc., but I really don’t think you would be doing yourself any favours by saying so.

If I was in your shoes and genuinely concerned I might send my DIL a bunch of flowers and a card saying what a great mum she is and follow it up with a gift of natural cleaning products with an accompanying note saying you admire how clean she keeps her home.

Don't say a word. You are basically accusing her of poisoning her child. Babies have survived much worse!

I totally agree with you flopen . When I had my children 25 years ago I had a leaflet from the health visitor about cleanliness around little children . He said that they are in far greater danger from cleaning products than the ‘germs’ they are there to eradicate.
Surely we have learnt from Covid that good old soap and water does the trick and always has .

I would follow Callistemon's suggestion and get your d.i.l. one or two natural cleaning products, saying how good you've found them, and perhaps she'd like to give them a go.

You may think what you wish, but how your daughter-in-law chooses to clean her house is none of your business, and you are being unreasonable even to consider saying something to her. Household cleaning products are safety tested, and are vanishingly unlikely to do a child any harm at all. If you don’t like the smell of the stuff she uses, stay away.

Tell her about the thread on here about removing your shoes before entering a house, have a good laugh, I did with my daughter, ignore her cleaning and just enjoy time with her and the GC.

Is the spray cleaning covid related flopen we have been bombarded with ads telling us to clean everything in sight. I share your concern as I used a well known spray in our shower cubicle and literally couldn't catch my breath. I had to go outside in the fresh air. As freedomfromthepast said take a chemical free spray and ask your daughter in law for her opinion but don't criticise. She is doing her best to keep things clean for her family which is commendable.

They are in a tiny house with no ventilation

No windows? Or does she choose not to open them?

Not up to you really, but if she were a DIL who didn’t clean the house, that would be a different problem.

don’t say anything! Why would you-none of your business.

I would ‘t comment. But I might sneeze and then I could blame it legitimately on the smelly spray.

I don’t have this problem as my lovely talented wonderful DIL virtually never does housework !! If I were in your position though I would keep quiet.

flopen - I would be concerned too.
Not entirely sure what to say exactly but I think she just may not be aware.

So many people think babies need everything super-clean... and then there's Coronavirus.

If your relationship is good, could you say you have just read an article about the problems of asthma and diabetes with some cleaning products and was totally shocked? If she's interested you can start a conversation "as equals" which is less threatening?
You could Google some articles first as there's lots out there.

There's also lots of people suggesting bleach with vinegar too of course!

Good luck.
I would not be able to be quiet on this if the baby is in that environment I'm afraid. Obviously, once it's raised, as grandparents we have no control so I'd have to try to bite my lip.

Tricky one. Give her frequent presents of houseplants. Look up the ones that are best at removing toxins such as VOC (in lots of sprays) from the atmosphere.

I certainly hope that the passive aggressive way you responded here after not hearing what you wanted is not presented to your son/dil.

We can all be concerned. Heck, we could stage an intervention. But at the end of the day, that is THIER house and THEIR baby. And if you decide that your concern is more important then their right to live without interference, you may find yourself with all new troubles.

I also feel it is important to point out that for the last year, it has been recommended to clean surfaces with the likes of bleach, lysol, etc. At least here in the US it has. Maybe your DIL is worried about Covid lasting on surfaces? That would certainly affect your grandsons health.

If you really feel you MUST interfere, maybe purchase a bottle of chemical free cleaning product and say "hey, I just tried this new product and I love it so much I got one for you to try, let me know what you think."

And then NEVER bring it up again unless she does.

This way, you have done what you reasonably can do without offending.

I too would say nothing, babies have survived far worse over the generations; cigarette smoke, coal fires etc.

Obviously I'm the only person concerned about the effects of chemicals on a baby's neurological system. How awful of me to be concerned about their health.
Well, it's not my grandchild.

It is entirely up to you of course.

I'm not sure why you asked if you didn't want anyone's opinions.

Buy her some of the natural cleaning products which you use and give them to her, saying how wonderful they are and has she tried them?

If you use all natural products could you buy a couple to give her, suggesting how effective they are?

fair enough. Obviously I'm the only person concerned about the effects of chemicals on a baby's neurological system. How awful of me to be concerned about their health.

I am a bit of a cleaning queen and like to use spray products to clean the house.
It has been a while now and my adult son was in the kitchen when I was cleaning and he said that the product was strong and when I used it I should have a window open for
ventilation so as not to breathe in the fumes off the product.

Why not point out to your son that fumes off cleaning products can be strong and it is good to have some ventilation that is not being critical just pointing out the obvious. All these sprays if over used can lead to allergies.

Yes - make no comment!
That way lies trouble.