Visitors waiting in line!

Just say firmly but politely that due to a particularly stressful time with a less than straightforward move you are relieved to finally be in your home and finally able to start sorting things.That you would love to meet up if they are on holiday in the area.Say as you're still relatively new to the area yourself you are happy to find out what hotels or B +Bs are recommended if that helps.And don't feel built tripped into accommodating people unless you absolutely want to.

My father moved to Spain and always said to me he never knew he had so many friends until he moved over there. When my DH and myself visited him it didn’t even enter my head to ask to stay with him because I knew we would want a bit of freedom on our own as well as seeing him, so I booked a nice hotel not far from my DF. We’ve just moved to a pretty little Sussex village and have informed family & friends that live afar we only have 2 bedrooms, one is ours and the other is very small and is my craft room but there’s a lovely pub up the road with reasonable rooms! I don’t like staying with friends or family and I don’t like them staying with me. I might come across as unsociable but apart from my DS nobody else has ever offered to help when we’ve moved so I’ve learnt a big lesson over the years. Say NO

Covid or not, this is a problem anyone who moves to what is considered a nice holiday area, or a major city like Edinburgh or Salzburg that have festivals knows only too well.

You need, for your own sake, to make it clear that you are not running a bed and breakfast.

If you want to see these people, ask when they hope to be in the area and send them the addresses of suitable accommodation, Make it clear from the start that you cannot offer to put them up.

If you don't want to see them, say your plans for the summer are still so uncertain that you cannot promise you will be at home if or when they come, nor can you put them up.

We moved to the Isle of Skye from the north east of England and people we hardly knew were contacting us wanting to come for a holiday. My advice is don’t offer to put people up unless its someone you really want to see and spend time with otherwise send them a list of alternative accommodation.

If they want to come ensure they know there is plenty of work to do before leisure time. So paint brushes ready, gardening to be done. Windows to be cleaned. Etc etc.
Ask them to bring you items you like such as food stuff that is expensive where you live or things you miss as it is quite likely you will be expected to feed and house them. If they bring you food, bedding etc then it will be their way of paying some of the cost you would have had to incur to look after them

I have always lived on the south coast and have had exactly the same problem! My parents lived in London before I was born and they moved to Sussex and many of their “friends” did this too! Just dont rise to the hints and say no!

Start as you mean to go on, and say you've already decided that you won't be having people stay as this is your home not an holiday let.

Hell no !! How selfish is that after watching you struggle during the move. Just no really - you don’t have to give a reason beyond the fact that it’s your home, not a holiday let.

I agree with the idea that you should suggest nearby accommodation for any potential visitors. Before covid I was invited to stay with an old friend in a beautiful part of Wales. I suggested myself that we should stay nearby. My husband had never met her and said he might feel awkward. The stay was cancelled but hopefully will happen this summer. I prefer some independence when visiting people.

We live on the Costa Brava in a loverly apartment and were so very popular.My dh loves visitors, but after an expensive few summers of changeover days, even he had enough! Weve now moved to a more homley place and there are just 2 couples welcome. We stay with them in the UK so thats fine. We started being a little rude when people wanted to come, we felt they were rude to ask in the place. Id joke about being a ' free hotel ' and change over days and they would edvantually take the hint.

I am sorry to have lost a year's contact with my friends, I've just moved and look forward to them coming to visit.

Your post has made me think of my late husband's cousin and partner, when they stayed with me for his funeral. They said they'd 'like to stay a few more days and make a holiday of it'. I was in no state to refuse. Mother of God!

I'd send them a list of accomodation and say that you'd love to meet up with them one day while they are in the area.

An old schoolfriend of mine emigrated to New Zealand. She was inundated with visitors and after a while, started to respond to hints (or outright requests) with "it will be lovely to see you again during your stay in NZ. I can recommend xyz bed and breakfast near to where we live. Give us a call when you're here and we can arrange to meet up"

Sounded a good way to remain friendly but make it clear they were not playing host. Perhaps you could use a similar ploy.

I had an aunt, now dead who lived in a tiny flat in the centre of London. She was inundated with family visiting. I live on the outskirts, fabulous tube service to Kings Cross or Heathrow but tubes cost money so nobody has asked to stay with me.
I am in total agreement with Fleur60.

Just say that you decided to stay in a hotel rather than ask them to help you when you were homeless because of Covid, so because there still a chance of contracting it, you hope they understand you will have to do the same.

I think that what they did when you had problems, Covid, everything is not relevant. Your home your rules and you don't need excuses for your choices. I don't recommend local hotels etcet either. If they are folk I want to see then I invite them to stay and if they aren't then I don't want them within visiting distance either! I wouldn't make excuses for this year because then you'll have to deal with it next year. If you don't want to say directly, "sorry I can't do that" then I find "let me get back to you on that" works well...if they raise it again, you say it again. and again. and again.

Newatthis, we had exactly the same problem when moving back to the UK and our temp house rental fell through at the very last minute. Family all knew about this and yet the only offer of a roof over our heads came from a woman I used to work with who wasn't even a close friend at the time. As it turned out we found another place to rent and took that. Also when we lived in California even very distant relatives came out of the woodwork wanting to visit.

Lots of good suggestions here but always have an excuse ready 'I'm busy with friends', 'I'm renovating/decorating/resting/on holiday'. Yes to giving a ready made accommodation list and offer to meet up with them to join them for a meal or visit something.

Be straight forward - say you need a quiet first year to settle in. When we had a swimming pool in France we had far more visitors than when we moved to a house without one!

It’s flipping hard work running a unpaid B and B. The first two years we moved here, a nice place in the country, we had every weekend booked up with sundry people. I got mightily fed up with it. Have managed to put people off for the last few years.

I know people who have had this problem, sometimes they want picking up and taking to the airport as well, so not only are you providing free B andB, but also a free taxi service!

Fleur20 is spot on.

Fantastic response everyone, thank you so much.

I would say “if you are in the area it would be lovely to have you over for a meal”.
I would probably mean it too.

Good luck.

We had moved here, north Scotland quite a few years ago and visitors come and go, but 2018 we had 9 lots of visitors. I said to everyone that I was having a year off, no visitors at all. So due to COVID have seen no-one for 2 ½ years! It is difficult to get the balance right. Varies from Sister who will cook every day and ‘friends’ who treat it as a B&B.

My mother tells of the day they arrived at my paternal grandparents to find a sign on the gate ‘B&B closed’