I’m impressed with your ability to say no.
Good Morning Good Friday 29th March 2024
Sign up to Gransnet Daily
Our free daily newsletter full of hot threads, competitions and discounts
SubscribeHello Gransnetters,
Yesterday neighbours had a garden party. Lots of their family came including lots of children.
My own family had gone inside by evening and I was doing some gardening.
Got to 8pm and I'm bending down weeding when I'm startled by "Hello! Hello!" Looked up to see neighbour's Son in Law holding his toddler Nephew up on our wall.
I said hello and had a little chat about how nice the day had been. I don't know them except to say hello to.
He said "He wants to see the trampoline" I didn't reply. He said it again, more pointedly "He wants to go on the trampoline" I ignored that. I just said " It's gone so cold. I'm going in now"
My gut tells me this was cheeky.
The little one is too small to go on it anyway. Felt like he was expecting me to take the little boy over the wall.
But also if I'd let him on, all the other kids would have had to have a go too They were still out playing.
My partner thinks it was cheeky too.
I'm just wondering if this kind of thing happened to you? A small part of me is wondering if it was a bit mean not to take the little one and let him have a bounce but with C19 that's not allowed anyway.
I feel like the Sil put me in an awkward situation.
I’m impressed with your ability to say no.
"The trampoline? Oh, I got it at Argos/Sainsburys/Hamleys/wherever".
Direct to toddler "oh, aren't you lucky your Dad wants to get you a trampoline".
Deliberate misunderstanding
I have a friend who is SO good at these situations that I feel compelled to quote her here:
"Oh no I would be so worried if he hurt himself. I couldn't live with myself if my trampoline caused him an injury, that would be so dreadful, and he is such a cute little chap you just be very proud of him, you do understand don't you, what a tragedy that anything such ever happen to him. Thank you for coming to say hello, it has been so nice to see him growing up.....I am such a worrier. I am sure you understand" and on and on......
She can switch on drama-queen to such an extent that people actually apologise to her for causing her such concern!
I'm afraid I'd have said, "Are you mad? I don't know you from Adam's housecat, and I'm afraid I'm not in the habit of babysitting total strangers on demand." You have to arch one eyebrow dramatically.
If you say yes the first time, it becomes the accepted norm, they then get offended when you say no on another occasion. I have found my life is quieter if it is just no from the outset and set out the clear boundaries.
I know just now that someone would like to come over and play football, but if I agree once, it will continue for the next decade, so I have to be resolute.
I did have great success previously by being less than optimally dressed (almost naked) during hot weather on a garden chair. (Neighbours kids had not only been trespassing, but were inviting all their friends round to use the trampoline - when I hadn’t invited anyone into my space)......I was “faux-shocked/surprised” and rather slow to grab a sarong and cover up the next day when they all appeared. And they never came again! I can recommend this tactic.
Likes your reply the best and think I may use that tactic myself one day. Fortunately the huge trampoline in my garden is gone as in between grandchildren (some were too little to use it and the others grown out of it) I got rid of it. My poor 86 year old mother got caught when her new neighbour asked if he could use her wheelie bin for garden rubbish and he filled it with soil! The very kind refuse men took her it for her but she nearly broke her back wheeling it down her drive to speak to the guys.
^ invite them round at the weekend for afternoon tea^. Are you the neighbour moggy?
I think the adults were looking for a diversion for the children to be honest. If the wall was so high then a child couldn't possible have looked over independentl. Like the OP said, she could have ended up with a garden full of children whilst their parents/guardians carried on socialising next door. Blooming cheeky! You handled it very well AFF
These days people sue for accidents on equipment like trampolines. I wouldn't take the responsibility and would have told him so.
You are not overthinking ! It was a blooming cheek
You’re definitely right, might be worth having word with neighbours just to say you’re not being funny with them but covid and be honest with them you don’t want lots kids in your garden unsupervised when you don’t even know them!
I think you did the right thing by ignoring the question and then going in because you were cold.
If you allow it once then you open the gate 'so to speak' for them asking everytime.
What a cheek. I would have just said outright that he child could not use it. Children have to learn that just because they can see something over the garden wall they cannot just assume they can use it. My garden is full of garden goodies for my GC and it is bad enough keeping my eyes all over the place to make sure they don't hurt themselves. Once my GD fell and hurt herself in the garden and had to go to A&E, just imagine if it happened to that toddler.
when you see them again .say you was concerned about the child's age on your trampoline and that it was getting late.you could invite them round at the weekend for afternoon tea.
Yes that’s really cheeky, and if there were other children around it wouldn’t of stopped with just the one child. So many children have accidents on trampolines, so personally I wouldn’t of taken the risk of letting strangers use it.
And just imagine the repercussions if the child hurt himself!
Wow, that’s cheeky. I think you did the right thing - not least because if they’re not really following even the relaxed Covid rules they’re putting you at risk. It’s also setting a precedent - if you do it once, they’d expect it every time they visited.
Blooming cheek! I would also add that you may not be insured for “strangers” to use it - excellent excuse.
You did the right thing. Trampolines have age recommendations, sounds as if the lad would be too young. Cheek personified!
I have had this a couple of times. When I had neighbours with small children, I had a couple of asks of "can the children play with your puppy (hell no) and "can the children visit your tortoises" (again hell no) In both cases I just said "sorry that's not possible goodbye" btw this was some 30 years ago, its not a new thing.
AcornFairy. Brilliant answer..made me chuckle.! ?
Goodness knows what I might have said in the heat of the moment, but I doubt I would have been as restrained as AiryFlyingFairy. (In spite of our possible shared genes). I’d like to think I would have said “Yes, I bet he would. But no he can’t. And neither can you. Goodnight.” A bit a-la Basil Fawlty …
If the child broke its neck who would be blamed?
You did the right thing. He was being a bit pushy to me, why do some people think they have the right just to use other peoples things and speak to them how they like nowadays. Manners have gone right out the window.
He was being very cheeky. We have a small gym in an out building and took the decision not to let anyone else use it on liability grounds alone. I'm sure the same would apply to a trampoline in your garden.
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »Get our top conversations, latest advice, fantastic competitions, and more, straight to your inbox. Sign up to our daily newsletter here.